Official Half Assed Game Day Thread for a Half Assed Team - Bengals v Texans

[WolverineFan]

Bengals have thrown 5 screen passes already. Think they saw anything on film they liked?

 

[powda]

Or hit him as he was getting the ball. JD has some scary quicks when he's healthy.

Maybe...ive seen him hit the handoff and chase the fake inside.

 

[Big Lou]

If we make it out of the first quarter down by only three it will be the highlight of the year.

 

[macho grande]

Texans Offensive Yards = 7
Texans Penalty Yards = 39

Yep, everything going according to plan.

Just a part of our bend and then break offense.

 

[dream_team]

Defense looking better. Encouraging!

 

[OzzO]

John McClain ‏@McClain_on_NFL
With Clowney out, Watt is able to move around more. He's been standing up over the center at least 3 times.

 

[PapaL]

Texans Offensive Yards = 7
Texans Penalty Yards = 39

Yep, everything going according to plan.

Bro we're just setting them up! It's the okie doke. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. Keep them guessing. Tire the Bengals offense out.

Ok I got nothing.

 

[Big Lou]

That was the worst info graphic I've ever seen....

 

[Hervoyel]

Offense needs to pull their heads out of their asses and put a drive together.

 

[WolverineFan]

John McClain ‏@McClain_on_NFL
With Clowney out, Watt is able to move around more. He's been standing up over the center at least 3 times.

This is the thing that boggles my mind. Watt can't move around if Clowney is on the field?

 

[PapaL]

Mallett is back? Throwing at WR feet. Or was that the call?

 

[Big Lou]

First down, he'll yeah!!!!

 

[Hervoyel]

Did he actually say "is Hoyer only going to be a short term answer"?

Seriously? Like there's any mystery At all there.

 

[OzzO]

This is the thing that boggles my mind. Watt can't move around if Clowney is on the field?

Yeah, I didn't get that either

 

[powda]

What a miserable play fake. Just lazy

 

[PapaL]

End of 1Q. Down 3. Hoyer just got Shorts destroyer'd.

Probably our best quarter lol

 

[OzzO]

one quarter = one first down.

 

[Big Lou]

I hate that POS thug. Should be behind bars.

 

[DocBar]

If I see one more pass thrown behind the LOS, I'm gonna go all stupid on something.

 

[Hervoyel]

What was that **** in the flat to Shorts supposed to accomplish? Really what did the Texans think they were going to get out of that other than maybe a pick six or nothing at all and a punt.

 

[OzzO]

ESPN Stats & Info ‏@ESPNStatsInfo
Texans have now been outscored by 35 points in the first quarter, tied with the Dolphins for worst in the NFL.

 

[CloakNNNdagger]

Forget screens.

 

[powda]

Blown coverage

 

[PapaL]

Holy **** was that a TE sighting?!?

 

[speedfreek]

The broadcast crew seems happy that they have a game that is still
somewhat close in the 2nd Q.

My guess is that they were expecting another 42-0 halftime score --
although there is still time for that to happen. ha!

 

[powda]

Pac man stopped celebrating?

 

[Hervoyel]

Who is CJ Fedoro.. Something. Does he play for us?

 

[PapaL]

Pac man stopped celebrating?

That's his make it squirm dance.

 

[Big Lou]

Why did the Bengals rip of the Saints, did they thing no one would notice Dey instead of dat. That's stupid as F***......

 

[macho grande]

I hate that POS thug. Should be behind bars.

Wow. That's extreme.

 

[paycheck71]

ESPN Stats & Info ‏@ESPNStatsInfo
Texans have now been outscored by 35 points in the first quarter, tied with the Dolphins for worst in the NFL.

Wait, the Dolphins are tied for worst in that department, even with their ass kicking vs the Texans?

 

[powda]

Fedoro..

Thats a hat right?

 

[powda]

Wow.

 

[WolverineFan]

Maybe change up the snap count when you're on the goal line.

 

[DocBar]

Naked boot would be a walk in

 

[powda]

Disaster. Lets call a penalty

 

[Hervoyel]

Texans going back to being Texans

 

[powda]

Rb looked wide open

 

[OzzO]

no PI, huh?

 

[Big Lou]

Little early

 

[Hervoyel]

They're letting the Bengals mug Hopkins

 

[PapaL]

One of these days we'll try a PA fake on first down for an easy TD. ONE DAY...

 

[texan279]

no PI, huh?

That was obvious PI

 

[TexCanada]

What a wasted chance..

 

[Mollywhopper]

Anyone else notice DHop rounding his routes off badly?

 

[Big Lou]

21 mugged Hopkins on his break, bullshit.

 

[PapaL]

Naked boot would be a walk in

I don't get the call. We don't just suck at running the ball on GL but we're atrocious. Obviously that means run at the heart of their defense.

 

[TexansFight]

What a stupid play call on 2nd down.

 

[Big Lou]

Anybody under 65 on that crew?

 

[Hervoyel]

Texans try to get cute at the goal line and they always embarass themselves. You can just feel it before it happens.