my ire is directed more towards some of the fans
Setting: Meeting room at NRG
Cal McNair: I've called this meeting to discuss our biggest problem: Fans.
Coach Culley: I hear ya, Kyle. I lost my job because of fans.
Cal: Coach, why are you still here?
Culley: I just love hanging around you guys.
Nick Casario: Mr. McNair, I have a team of analysts working around the clock on this issue.
Culley: Is that a digital clock? I like the old timey ones with the big hand and the little hand.
Nick: We've dropped our draft evaluations and are only concentrating on this problem. Here are some preliminary charts...
Jack Easterby: Cal, baby. I've got this under control.
Cal: Jack, I thought you were praying with Josh McCown?
Jack: He's still crying in the team chapel. Still not sure if they're tears of joy or regret.
Cal: OK, but what about the fans?
Jack: We get rid of them, my fair McNair. We still have the cardboard cut-outs from 2020. Joel Osteen, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker. And the kids from 7th Heaven. We trashed the pedophile preacher, so don't worry.
Cal: And the concessions?
Jack: Since I'm in charge of everything including concessions and logistics, I purchased 100 food trucks and strategically placed the around town. For every $15 tasteless hamburger purchased, we give a free Deshaun Watson jersey.
Cal, Culley, & Nick: Brilliant!!!
Cal: Meeting adjourned. Who wants to play some Call of Duty?
Culley: He said doody.