For 9 years at work it's been "YOUR Texans lost again", "what's wrong with YOUR Texans" etc.
This season that YOUR has changed to a WE. "WE won", "WE clinched the division", WE are going to the playoffs".
And I give them plenty of business about it too. Where the hell were y'all at for the last 9 years?
You should find a cheap trophy, one of those plastic ones like a kid gets at the end of a soccer season.
Take a blank mailing label, and adhere it over the little rectangular name plate on the front. With a Sharpie, write "Fake Fan Award."
Ask everyone who has been saying "WE won the division" to gather around. Announce that in light of the Texans' recent accomplishments, you're having an awards ceremony, and you want them to all gather around your desk during break time or just before lunch.
When everyone is there, you need to hold the trophy and stand on your chair.
"First of all, I'd like to say that I've been a Texans fan for, oh gosh...I think since the time it was announced we were getting a new team. I bought the gear. I joined message boards. I consumed all things Texans. We had rough years, I've been made fun of around here. I've taken it in stride. Well, I've noticed that here recently a lot of people are joining in the fun. And so, without any more delay, I would like to present to all of you this trophy. Ladies and gentlemen, I bestow upon you....the Fake Fan Award!"
Hand it to the person nearest you, clap really loud and have a very big, proud look on your face. Keep clapping. Start cheering TEXANS! TEXANS! TEXANS! until they leave in disgust. "Thank you all! Thank you for coming to the award ceremony! YOU helped make this dream season possible. See you at the playoff games! Anybody want a ride with me to the tailgate? Hello? Anybody? Oh well. Have a good lunch everyone."
That ought to shut 'em up...and get an ice pick lodged into your car tire. LOL.
It's fun to pretend that stuff, though. To think that YOU are a true fan, and here's these fake fans, and you know you can't say anything TOO harsh but that you'd love to dish out some payback somehow. A guy can dream....