This just in! After the worst blowout in America Football History the Houston Texans sit on their fat asses with a new determination! No, we will not get a Defensive Coordinator living in this millennium! No! We will not bring in an offensive coordinator less stupid, bumbling, unsophisticated, backward, dull-witted, what-me-worry? than that paragon of football knowledge William ”Bill” Buttchin O’Briensky, the clever trick play artiste! Instead, we will find our hands and sit on them once again! As they deserve to be sat on! They are, after all, OUR hands! Yes! And we don’t need no stinkin’ NEW hands to get us beyond the high school football we’ve been playing for the last 6 years! Just wait till next year! We will bury ourselves once again! Onward!