texanhead08
All Pro
Dead via suicide
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RIP Jamey Roots
- Thread starter texanhead08
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texanhead08
All Pro
TexansBull
Hall of Fame
Condolences. Prayers for family.
The height of selfishness.
Do do have empathy for people that are in this much despair.
Do do have empathy for people that are in this much despair.
badboy
Hall of Fame
Oh my! Total shock. Suicide is devastating to survivors and many make stupid comments about these people. Suicide is done by different people for different reasons. I am not condoning just saying comments/judgements should at least wait until all info known if it is.
Prayers for his family.
Prayers for his family.
My condolences to the Rootes family. It is sad if his pain was deeper than his will to live.
Or the love of his family.
maverick512000
Hall of Fame
While I don’t disagree as someone that has been on the edge you actually start to think that everyone would be better off without you and can convince yourself that the best thing for everyone is if you weren’t here anymore. I was blessed to look at my 3 year old and realize that he was happier with me in his life and I also had some people that knew the signs and pushed me to get help. Some aren’t so lucky.
Goes to show though that no matter how high a person rises in life anyone can fall to the darkest depths.
Thoughts and prayers goes out to the survivors.
TxnsJuggernaut1
Veteran
Having been suicidal I can relate. My saving grace has been that no matter how bad my life seemed at the time I realized that there are others who suffer many bad things even worse than me and yet they still have a desire to live. There are people with serious illnesses who fight to survive and would give anything to trade places with those of us who are healthy. I see people who should feel blessed and it makes me sick when they give up on life. I lost a good friend to suicide and it seemed to me his life was going in a good direction. I never could understand what motivated him to take his own life. I am bipolar and he too suffered mental illness. None the less I am here because I have looked at life from the perspective of others who seemingly were in worse situations than I have been and if they found purpose in life than it seemed wrong for me to give up on my mine. More than anything my Lord and savior Jesus Christ is why I am still here. I think my outlook on life and strength to carry on is from my faith. I will pray for those close to Jamey who have been impacted.
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Boris
All Pro
my first thought was that he may have been suffering from a terrible illness that physically robbed him of his dignity
my second thought was a reminder that mental illness is just as powerful a force
thirdly, yes i do have empathy foe people in such in despair
badboy
Hall of Fame
Appreciate your honesty and hope for continuing good mental health
badboy
Hall of Fame
Your last few sentences were my story 50 years ago may God bless you and keep you!
I think it's a wholly misunderstood look at mental health issues to immediately label suicide as a singularly selfish act. Often, if not the majority of, times people truly believe they're committing a legitimately selfless act to take their problems and their burdens away from those closest to them. It just goes to show how wildly mental health problems can distort the mirror we see ourselves in and how that reflection for those suffering in that way can be completely unlike how it is for even those who know us best.
It's understandable to be upset at the act for the sense of loss and abandonment and maybe even associated guilt with wondering what more you could have done to help. It's a natural reaction with something so traumatic and sudden. But I don't think the thoughts and fears and loathing, or even panic, in someone suffering enough to go to such an unthinkable length to 'solve' their problems, I don't think those are typically weighted towards what we usually associate with selfishness. It's more a mental terror of feeling like your problems have become completely unmanageable and unsolvable to the point that any hope at all is completely lost forever.
It's a terrifying tragic shame that so many people think in this devastating way day to day to actually act on it.
There were 45,979 deaths by suicide in 2020. There were 1.2M suicide attempts as well. That's 125 people a day taking their own lives.
This terrible phenomenon doesn't need any further stigma attached to it.
It needs love and acceptance and support and understanding and compassion and empathy.
It's understandable to be upset at the act for the sense of loss and abandonment and maybe even associated guilt with wondering what more you could have done to help. It's a natural reaction with something so traumatic and sudden. But I don't think the thoughts and fears and loathing, or even panic, in someone suffering enough to go to such an unthinkable length to 'solve' their problems, I don't think those are typically weighted towards what we usually associate with selfishness. It's more a mental terror of feeling like your problems have become completely unmanageable and unsolvable to the point that any hope at all is completely lost forever.
It's a terrifying tragic shame that so many people think in this devastating way day to day to actually act on it.
There were 45,979 deaths by suicide in 2020. There were 1.2M suicide attempts as well. That's 125 people a day taking their own lives.
This terrible phenomenon doesn't need any further stigma attached to it.
It needs love and acceptance and support and understanding and compassion and empathy.
I had one of my best friends in the world attempt to take his life this past week, so I'm definitely feeling some kind of way on the subject.
Texansballer74
The Marine
My condolences and prayers to his family and friends.
Texansballer74
The Marine
One of my coworkers best friend committed suicide three years ago. He was a millionaire who basically had everything he wanted but true happiness. My coworker said he never seen the signs, always thought his best friend was happy.
TxnsJuggernaut1
Veteran
I feel the same as you when it comes to how we relate to those dealing with despair and who feel lost.
To deal with suicides we must come to terms with the fact that so many of them are due to mental illnesses. I can't get angry at or judge anybody who takes their own life when they are dealing with clinical depression and other mental illensses.
When my friend took his life I personally could not see why his life was so bad that he felt he needed to take it. Than again I look back on how many times I was irrational and felt my life held no real purpose and that I was a burden to those closest to me. It was by the grace of God and a loving mother that I sought help and received it. Now I look at how others who have had tougher times than I have had have valued their lives and found hope when all seemed to be lost. It is in large part that mindset that has given me strength. It is by the grace of God that I have been able to look at life the way I currently do. Christ love is the driving force behind many who feel lost and then they find direction in life. Still I encourage anyone to take a true and honest assessment of their lives and the lives of others. They will see many who meet their challenges head on and cherish every breath they take.
I have a 37 year old nephew who is dealing with serious depression. He sees this world as a dark place with little if any good in it. Is it any wonder him and so many others feel this way? The world is full of bad things but it also has a lot of good, it is just that to follow most of the media we are inundated with bad news and petty fighting as we are being told how different we are. We rarely hear about how there is a lot of good in our nation and this world and there is a lot of things that connect us all! I just told him to search for positive stories and videos online and stop dwelling on all the bad things they want us to hear about!
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TxnsJuggernaut1
Veteran
I send my prayers out for your friend that he overcomes whatever it is he is going through that made him feel his life is not worth living!
My own daughter has suffered depression and anxiety for the past 2-3 years. On 3 occasions, we were at the ER with her for suicidal threats. Social media has played a gigantic role in her problems. It is truly one of the worst inventions of man-kind.
Brisco_County
Apples and roadmaps
We can never truly understand what others have dealt with in their lives. Life is an unrelenting march that grinds on everyone in different ways. This is why, when I was younger, I had to remind myself not to judge others so harshly. Sadly, nowdays that reminder presents itself too often. Just last week, someone I've known for 20 years took her own life. She was locally well known and was admired by hundreds of young women for her toughness. She's the last person anyone thought would bow out early.
Depression is a monster. It robs you of life and it convinces you of lies. Thankfully I've never suffered from it, but it has affected me through family and friends. The only advice I can tell sufferers is that it's not your fault, and the people in your life need you in theirs. Don't believe the lie that they'd be better off without you. Just ask them.
Depression is a monster. It robs you of life and it convinces you of lies. Thankfully I've never suffered from it, but it has affected me through family and friends. The only advice I can tell sufferers is that it's not your fault, and the people in your life need you in theirs. Don't believe the lie that they'd be better off without you. Just ask them.
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Porky
Hall of Fame
When I think about this very sad situation, it reminds me of the poem Richard Cory. It's the most profound poem I've ever read about mental illness and suicide and it's very short. It's not how others perceive you, and it's not about what you have or your achievements. Mental illness and depression know no social or economic status. Depression is an equal opportunity illness. I think of Naomi Judd in this moment as well - may she rest in peace. This poem was first published in 1897. The more things change...
Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked,
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich--yes, richer than a king--
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
Whenever Richard Cory went downtown,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored and imperially slim.
And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked,
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.
And he was rich--yes, richer than a king--
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.
So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.
I'm sorry for your loss, man. I lost a really good friend to suicide in '92. Dude was just 25 yo but was lost in a depression that he could not find a way out of. It breaks my heart every year to read the thoughts of his mom and sister on social media even 3 decades later. His son is now a grown man and looks a lot like him.
Your previous post about mental health is spot on. It's easy for the uneducated to pass judgement. And it's hard subject for the educated to comprehend. But compassion and patience is needed. A lot of people out there go through life suffering from hopelessness and mental agony without ever letting anyone know their struggles.
Just don't want any misunderstandings.. my dear friend is still with us.
Don't want to get to in the details, but he made a very real attempt at his life that turned out with him in the hospital but very much alive and now at home feeling better and talking to professionals about those things that had him so upside down mentally and emotionally and he's putting tons of pieces back together with his wife and his family and I'm unimaginably grateful for that.
I also very much appreciate everyone's kind words here. Our little community isn't something I think most people quite get, but we do and it's threads like this (unfortunately for the circumstances of course) that bind us and remind me why it's so awesome of Hookem to keep on keepin on with it.
Thanks y'all..
Joe's passing was a very sad day for all
I see a very familiar jersey there... TexanBill looking old in that shot... his passing a very sad day also
Mr teX
Hall of Fame
came very close to dealing with this some years ago. Not quite suicidal but just wondering what my purpose in life was to be after some very turbulent times in my life that shouldve been a great time according to where i was and what i had coming to me. I ask people all the time what they’d do if they won the lotto…& they always say they’d retire and buy this or that…travel here etc…. And then i say “ok, thats 3-5years… max of just buying crap you dont need traveling and eating to excess before it gets old. what will you do after that assuming you have alot of life still ahead of you?
most dont have an answer. I think it highlights how purposeless most of us are once we get past chasing the superficial items.
my condolences to Rootes family. Im sure there’s more there than we’ll ever know. I wont presume to call someone “selfish” b/c they’re sick. Mental health is no joke.
Dejaview
Wahoo Sabi
This is over the top dude. You should be ashamed and give up your Christian aspirations. Why did he commit suicide? I truly don’t know. Years ago I lost a best friend that suffered through depression from a bi polar disorder. He may have been many things but he wasn’t selfish.
I hate that his family is having to go through this and my thoughts and prayer are with them. maybe I didn't make this clear in my post.
With this said, coming from a family with a history of suicide, yes it's a selfish act.
maverick512000
Hall of Fame
Best description of the affects of suicide I ever heard actually came from the BBC Sherlock Holmes series.
Paraphrasing but basically it says committing suicide is like setting off a hand grenade. The closer a person is to it the more they are hurt.
Paraphrasing but basically it says committing suicide is like setting off a hand grenade. The closer a person is to it the more they are hurt.
Most people have considered suicide at some point in their lives. I know I did after my mom passed away my senior year in highschool. How I got through it was I thought about bad times and then remembered the good times that happened after those bad times. Although at the time I still didn't feel like life was fair I knew that times would get better.
Porky
Hall of Fame
Sorry to hear about your Mom SB. Mine died in 2009, but I was in my mid-forties. While I miss her every day, as a mature adult, I was able to handle it ok. I got that "life isn't fair" lesson drilled into my skull over and over again by my Dad (still kicking ass today at 83) when I was young. He grew up poor and pulled himself up by his bootstraps and never took a dollar from anyone along the way. I'm proud of my Dad and he's my hero to this day. But that lesson is very important - life isn't fair. Not even close. We have to learn to roll with the punches or it will take us down with it.
Perhaps some of them are, but to characterize all suicides as selfish basically reveals a complete lack of compassion, empathy, and understanding on your part.
We are losing an average of 20 veterans a day to suicide. These are people who served our country and were sent into hell to fight for this country's agendas and came out with broken minds.
Research has consistently shown that women who are sexually abused show a 12- to 20-fold increase in suicide attempts. Child sexual abuse confers a 150 percent increased risk of later suicidal behavior.
It seems very callous to disregard their struggles with mental anguish and pain and losing that struggle as merely a selfish act, like they are not victims of mental illness and do not deserve any sort of compassion for their struggles.
We do not fully comprehend the human mind. We are making progress in unraveling various mental illnesses, but we have a long, long way to go to fully understand it.
Dejaview
Wahoo Sabi
It’s his life. Period. It’s selfish not to let him follow his thoughts through god knows what he must be thinking to give up any hope for another second on this earth. Selfish is sacrificing anything else other than HIS total sacrifice perhaps to save others.
maverick512000
Hall of Fame
On this I completely disagree, it’s not just his life and once a person is gone their pain is at an end but everyone else’s has just started. This was one of the key things that stopped me realizing that I wouldn’t be removing a burden from my loved ones but adding a completely new one and forcing them to carry it without me. Is that the right approach for everyone, no it’s not and for some that would drive them further towards it. Mental health doesn’t have a one size fits all fix, that’s part of the reason their are so many medications for the exact same issue.
@steelbtexan has caught a lot of flank for calling it selfish but the harsh truth is that on many levels he’s right. The person may not realize it because their mind isn’t in the right place and they may honestly believe this is the best thing they can do for everyone, I know I did, but when the fog clears and they can see things for what they really are more often than not they realize how wrong they were. Does that mean the fight is over, oh Hell no not by a long shot but it can give them another reason to fight.
So for you to go on about “give up your Christian aspirations” well his response was nicer than mine would have been. I’m sorry about your friend but coming from someone that sat on his bed with a gun in his mouth I can tell you Steel is closer to the truth than many would like to admit because we hate to think ill and speak ill of the dead.
“Taking you own life. Interesting expression — taking it from who? Once it’s over, it’s not you who’ll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everybody else. Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.” Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes
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Dejaview
Wahoo Sabi
You DONT know the mental state of ANYONE. If you commit suicide the fog obviously hasn’t cleared for that one to decide what things really are for what they really are. Bottom line is this type of action doesn’t deserve a moral ethic to be applied through the mindset of the OBSERVER. Moral responsibility through the eyes of an observer REQUIRES a fully cognizant and free mind for any objectionable action taken by an actant before any moral judgement can be considered for its fit within current social conventions. Your social conventions seem to require a guilty verdict to one that cannot answer in self defense.
.
Thanks for explaining this better than I ever could have. Relatives that have dealt with a loved ones suicide would totally agree with you. Their lives are forever changed and the what should I have done/guilt never really goes away.
SeriousShizzle
Rookie
RIP!
For those with emotional or mental issue. When their world is shaken. Its very hard.................. sometimes you don't see way out. Before the way out shows itself
For those with emotional or mental issue. When their world is shaken. Its very hard.................. sometimes you don't see way out. Before the way out shows itself
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Hardcore Texan
Magnet Man
I don't think so, it may seem like a selfish act to you and others. And I hear this all the time, every time something like this happens. To me that's just stuff people say that haven't been through this or close to going thru with it. I mean, I guess for some people that commit suicide it could be a selfish act, if that's what they were really thinking when it happened.
But from my personal experience and everyone I have ever talked to or heard their story, it's different. It's being depressed and in so much pain you just want it to end. That's it. You are just looking for a way out and want it to stop. The agony is overwhelming and desperation can set in. There's not any thought in who your leaving behind and the devastation you will cause, you simply just want a way out and for the pain to stop.
Boris
All Pro
and in some cases, they'd have convinced themselves that this act would be better for their loved ones...
I respect your view,
My family has dealt with suicide.
The past sentence of your post is the definition of selfishness.
Imagine you have a close friend or family member who's been kidnapped.
They've been taken by somewhere by someone and held against their will. They've been wherever 'there' is for some time, and while there they've been beaten, tortured, raped, and generally abused daily by their kidnapper. They've fought back but to no avail, the kidnapper is a monster who's bigger and stronger and always armed. They've tried finding a way out, they've tried calling out for help, they've even tried bargaining with their kidnapper, but there they still find themself each and every morning just to do it all over again each day. This person is exhausted and physically and mentally a shell of themself. The only thing they want now is for this to be over. One day, while nearly catatonic, this person sees a small knife left out. They consider attacking the kidnapper but no there's no way as weak as they are they can overpower him with just a small but sharp knife. Distraught, but determined to end this suffering, they decide the only one way out is to take their own life, and so they do so.
Now, who do you blame in this case for the death of your close friend/family member - them or their assailant?
They've been taken by somewhere by someone and held against their will. They've been wherever 'there' is for some time, and while there they've been beaten, tortured, raped, and generally abused daily by their kidnapper. They've fought back but to no avail, the kidnapper is a monster who's bigger and stronger and always armed. They've tried finding a way out, they've tried calling out for help, they've even tried bargaining with their kidnapper, but there they still find themself each and every morning just to do it all over again each day. This person is exhausted and physically and mentally a shell of themself. The only thing they want now is for this to be over. One day, while nearly catatonic, this person sees a small knife left out. They consider attacking the kidnapper but no there's no way as weak as they are they can overpower him with just a small but sharp knife. Distraught, but determined to end this suffering, they decide the only one way out is to take their own life, and so they do so.
Now, who do you blame in this case for the death of your close friend/family member - them or their assailant?
Hardcore Texan
Magnet Man
If that's the way you want to take my view that's okay. But I don't agree, and I have been there. I don't think it's the definition of selfishness, those things are just not entering your mind, it's not like I am saying your are actively choosing not to think of others and what is left behind, just simply there's a void there due to the depression and the pain. I just don't think it's even part of the thought process when it's that dark all around you.
Agreed.
RIP Jamey Roots
For anyone needing help, please reach out. People care.
If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. While some areas may be currently able to connect to the Lifeline by dialing 988, this dialing code will be available to everyone across the United States starting on July 16, 2022.
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