Hottoddie
Veteran
If so, I must've missed it. So, why don't we start bashing them for a while?
Let's start with Mark Frederick Bruener. What kind of name is that? What is he, some kind of rich snob that has to a fancy middle name? What the hell's wrong with just plain ol' Fred? Also, what's with that goofy smile? Is it because he has a fancy middle name & I don't? I think I hate him. Okay, let's take a look at his performance on the field. He's caught 143 passes in almost 11 years. WOW! That comes to 13 passes per year & only 0.81 per game. What's with that? Why does he even suit up on Sundays? No way he's smiling over that statistic. It has to be because of the fancy middle name.
Okay, who's next? Oh yeah, Matt Murphy. Well, I guess his name says it all. Surely, everyone's heard of Murphy's Law? What can go wrong, will go wrong. I pity the young man for having to carry such a heavy burden throughout his life. Let's see, what else can we bash him about? Good grief, he graduated from Maryland. That makes him Matt Murphy from Maryland. What is that, some kind of sick joke? Okay, let's look at his career on the field. Oh my God, he's caught 3 passes in 4 years. Look out Superbowl, here we come. Actually, I like Murphy, but could someone tell him to shut up & sit down at the end of the bench?
Next up is Marcellus Rivers. Marcellus, what's that, French? Well then, he's already on my bad side. Here, I'll give you one of these
. You'll just have to live with the Texans logo on it. Marcellus has caught 34 passes in 5 years. That's pathetic. I could do that. Let's see, that's an average of 6.8 passes per year & about 1 every 3rd game. Yes, I could definitely do that. That gives me 3 weeks to shake off the concussion.
Footnote: I'd bash Joppru, but he hasn't been seen in 3 years. I think he must be dead & I don't think it would be appropriate to bash the dead.
When it all comes down to it, we should just pull the TE's out of our team & put in another lineman that is capable of catching an occasional ball. Would you rather have a 250lb. player, or a 330lb. player blocking? We just happen to have a guy that can do that, & he can throw an occasional pass as well. His name is Seth Wand. Wand, isn't that something a Fairy carries? Just great! Now we're going to have a Fairy blocking for Carr.
Disclaimer: I'm on vacation & have way too much time on my hands & decided to do a little parody on all the bashing threads.
Let's start with Mark Frederick Bruener. What kind of name is that? What is he, some kind of rich snob that has to a fancy middle name? What the hell's wrong with just plain ol' Fred? Also, what's with that goofy smile? Is it because he has a fancy middle name & I don't? I think I hate him. Okay, let's take a look at his performance on the field. He's caught 143 passes in almost 11 years. WOW! That comes to 13 passes per year & only 0.81 per game. What's with that? Why does he even suit up on Sundays? No way he's smiling over that statistic. It has to be because of the fancy middle name.
Okay, who's next? Oh yeah, Matt Murphy. Well, I guess his name says it all. Surely, everyone's heard of Murphy's Law? What can go wrong, will go wrong. I pity the young man for having to carry such a heavy burden throughout his life. Let's see, what else can we bash him about? Good grief, he graduated from Maryland. That makes him Matt Murphy from Maryland. What is that, some kind of sick joke? Okay, let's look at his career on the field. Oh my God, he's caught 3 passes in 4 years. Look out Superbowl, here we come. Actually, I like Murphy, but could someone tell him to shut up & sit down at the end of the bench?
Next up is Marcellus Rivers. Marcellus, what's that, French? Well then, he's already on my bad side. Here, I'll give you one of these
. You'll just have to live with the Texans logo on it. Marcellus has caught 34 passes in 5 years. That's pathetic. I could do that. Let's see, that's an average of 6.8 passes per year & about 1 every 3rd game. Yes, I could definitely do that. That gives me 3 weeks to shake off the concussion.Footnote: I'd bash Joppru, but he hasn't been seen in 3 years. I think he must be dead & I don't think it would be appropriate to bash the dead.
When it all comes down to it, we should just pull the TE's out of our team & put in another lineman that is capable of catching an occasional ball. Would you rather have a 250lb. player, or a 330lb. player blocking? We just happen to have a guy that can do that, & he can throw an occasional pass as well. His name is Seth Wand. Wand, isn't that something a Fairy carries? Just great! Now we're going to have a Fairy blocking for Carr.
Disclaimer: I'm on vacation & have way too much time on my hands & decided to do a little parody on all the bashing threads.
:brickwall cuts. Does anyone know where he ended up?
