OK, this is strictly for fun, so stop reading if you want something serious. And if you read it and don't find it humorous, my excuse is that it seemed humorous when writing it late at night.
We all want to draft good football players, but many people underestimate the importance that a great name can bring to the franchise. Great names are memorable, and provide easier marketing opportunities. With that in mind, here's my mock Texans draft. The only criteria is to pick the best name, from those projected to that round (by nfldraftscout.com).
Round 1
Because these players have their names mentioned so often, they often start sounding "normal." If it's possible to trade down, they should. Still, one player's name is likely to remain notable, if only for length. So, with their first pick, the Texans draft:
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, CB, Tennessee State
If he's not available, or they can manage to swing it, they should trade down to pick up an extra 2nd round choice. In that case, they could instead pick up:
Aqib Talib, CB, Kansas and
Xavier Adibi, OLB, Virginia Tech
Round 3
In a slight reach, the Texans grab
Tom Zbikowski, SS/KR, Notre Dame
Round 4
The name talent has really fallen off here. The Texans try to trade down to stockpile later picks, but if they can't, they'll settle for:
Ahtyba Rubin, DE, Iowa State
Round 5
Getting the call is the lone offensive player they'll draft:
Kory Lichtensteiger, C, Bowling Green
Round 6
Time to look at special teams:
Mike Dragosavich, P, North Dakota State
Round 7
This is where the real strength of the name draft is. If possible, the Texans should have traded out of earlier rounds to get more 7th round picks. But, assuming they have to go with one, the winner is:
Leger Douzable, DT, Central Florida
Runners up are Jehuu Caulcrick, DeCody Fagg, and Mario Urrutia.
We all want to draft good football players, but many people underestimate the importance that a great name can bring to the franchise. Great names are memorable, and provide easier marketing opportunities. With that in mind, here's my mock Texans draft. The only criteria is to pick the best name, from those projected to that round (by nfldraftscout.com).
Round 1
Because these players have their names mentioned so often, they often start sounding "normal." If it's possible to trade down, they should. Still, one player's name is likely to remain notable, if only for length. So, with their first pick, the Texans draft:
Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, CB, Tennessee State
If he's not available, or they can manage to swing it, they should trade down to pick up an extra 2nd round choice. In that case, they could instead pick up:
Aqib Talib, CB, Kansas and
Xavier Adibi, OLB, Virginia Tech
Round 3
In a slight reach, the Texans grab
Tom Zbikowski, SS/KR, Notre Dame
Round 4
The name talent has really fallen off here. The Texans try to trade down to stockpile later picks, but if they can't, they'll settle for:
Ahtyba Rubin, DE, Iowa State
Round 5
Getting the call is the lone offensive player they'll draft:
Kory Lichtensteiger, C, Bowling Green
Round 6
Time to look at special teams:
Mike Dragosavich, P, North Dakota State
Round 7
This is where the real strength of the name draft is. If possible, the Texans should have traded out of earlier rounds to get more 7th round picks. But, assuming they have to go with one, the winner is:
Leger Douzable, DT, Central Florida
Runners up are Jehuu Caulcrick, DeCody Fagg, and Mario Urrutia.
