As it turns out,
the Idiot in question was a 16-year-old named William, who told me he had always dreamed of running onto a field. Of course he did. And William was easy to track down because he had his phone number scrawled across his torso. Of course he did. Since then, he says “hella” people have called him.
I called William Tuesday afternoon while he was walking his dogs (he does his schooling online so he can work as a salesman, he said). He told me that he was at the game with his dad when he decided to run.