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HPF: Texans/49ers "rest" starters

Wolf

Wolf

100% Texan
www.houstonprofootball.com

ecember 29, 2005
Texans, Niners "Rest" Starters

The race to worst place can't get started fast enough for the Texans and the 49ers. The two teams square off this Sunday in San Francisco, and should the Texans lose, they assure themselves the first overall pick in the 2006 draft. A Texans win would give the 49ers an outside hope at "earning" the coveted top spot.

With so much on the line, is it any surprise that both teams have already told key starters to sit this game out? Yes, we're (mostly) joking.

The Texans sent running back Domanick Davis to the injured reserve on Wednesday. Davis, who has missed the last two games, had arthroscopic knee surgery to repair an area irritated in recent weeks by inflammation. In missing Sunday's grand finale, Davis, who has 976 yards on the ground this season, will not eclipse the 1,000-yard rushing milestone for the third straight year.

To make matters worse (wink, wink), Davis' replacement, Jonathan Wells, missed practice yesterday to nurse a bruised thigh. Should Wells be unable to play against the 49ers, expect rookie Vernand Morency to get the start at running back.

Oh, but the 49ers countered the sad Texans news when they sent their starting runnning back, Kevan Barlow, to the injured reserve on Wednesday. San Francisco will also likely turn its rushing attack over to a rookie, Frank Gore.

Ah! But the Texans also finally bid farewell to defensive end Gary Walker for the season as well. The team sent the former Pro Bowler to the injured reserve after he underwent surgery this week to mend a torn triceps muscle. Take that, Niners.

To fill the roster voids, the Texans signed defensive end Jason Davis and activated safety Jammal Lord from the practice squad. Davis, a member of the team's practice squad in 2003 and 2004, failed to make the active roster out of training camp last August. Lord, a running quarterback from Nebraska, was the team's sixth round pick in the 2004 draft.
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Get ready to hear about how we are trying to lose by benching all of our players.

I do think that it is kind of funny that the people who would be replaced by Reggie are not playing. Next we will hear that Hollings has a hang nail and that Bennie Joppru will be playing RB on crutches.
 
tulexan said:
Banks and Ragone would be too risky. We will see B.J. Symons instead.
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Still too risky. Bennie Joppru will be given Dave Ragones jersey prior to the game starting and "Ragone" won't remove his helmet for the duration of the contest. James "Merselis" Allen, in need of a paycheck has agreed to wear Banks jersey all day and "Tony" won't be taking his helmet off either.

In an NFL first "Tony Banks" and "Dave Ragone" will be the first two QB's in NFL history to wear visors.

Starting QB David Carr will leave the game with "Flu-like symptoms" after one series. Upon leading the Texans to a scoring drive he will come to the sideline, drink from a cup of Gatorade that "Tony" was nice enough to go get for him, and within 2 minutes be headed for the locker room.

"Real Fans" who are disgusted by the above scenario please go find yourself a sense of humor. I'm kidding and no, I don't particularly care if it offends you.
 
I think the "flu like symptoms" is going to turn into a full blown epidemic tomorrow, but coincidentally only affecting our best players. Casserly will blame it on a gamble not to give out flu shots because he didn't feel that the flu was much of a potential problem and Capers will blame the training staff on not executing on making sure that the team was healthy.
 
I hear the Bird Flu pandemic has hit the locker room just in time for Sunday's game. Some "guy" named Ashley is starting at QB, and the "Twins" Marisa and Larisa are starting at FB and HB respectively. :yahoo:
 
To legitimize the injuries, I remember Wells being hit in the thigh by a helmet and him reacting to it specifically. So that isn't made up. The Morency thing, sounds fishy.
 
I'm sure Morency will be back and healthy in time for the game, flu symptoms should not keep him sidelined for more than a day.
 
You probably don't have NFL-quality health facilities and medicines and such at your disposal to help you get better, so hopefully it will be a one-day thing.
 
tulexan said:
I think the "flu like symptoms" is going to turn into a full blown epidemic tomorrow, but coincidentally only affecting our best players. Casserly will blame it on a gamble not to give out flu shots because he didn't feel that the flu was much of a potential problem and Capers will blame the training staff on not executing on making sure that the team was healthy.
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LOL, now that is good!

In fact Casserly did not even have the flu shipped to the Texans because it would take at least 3 years for it to do any good. Of course he would have traded the flu shots away for Flinstone Vitmans cuz they have a good shape, and come in a bottle that wont break as easy as the shots
 
Presenting your week 17 Texans offense!

LT - Jerome Mathis; We need to be able to pull off those red zone "tackle eligible" plays, and we need a guy with a lot of speed to help out with Dwight Freeney. Clearly, the fastest guy on the team is the ideal choice.
LG - Phillip Buchanan; We need to cut down on the false start penalties. False starts happen when linemen get so excited about the chance to make a play that they leap early. No one is worried about this from Buchanan.
C - Chester Pitts; Can't break the every snap in franchise history streak, and we've tried him at guard (which didn't work) and tackle (which mostly did) so clearly we need to see what he looks like at center.
RG - Andre Johnson; Because clearly we need playmakers on the Oline.
RT - Tony Hollings; We need to get this guy on the field for talent evaluation and this was the only open spot.
TE - Dunta Robinson; Because.
WR #1 - CC Brown; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
WR #2 - Glenn Earl; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
WR #3 - Marcus Coleman; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
WR #4 - Corey Bradford; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
FB - David Carr; One thing we know about Carr, he can take a pounding.
RB - Travis Johnson; 1st round draft picks need to contribute more than we've let him so far.
QB - Kris Brown
 
Sarg01 said:
Presenting your week 17 Texans offense!

LT - Jerome Mathis; We need to be able to pull off those red zone "tackle eligible" plays, and we need a guy with a lot of speed to help out with Dwight Freeney. Clearly, the fastest guy on the team is the ideal choice.
LG - Phillip Buchanan; We need to cut down on the false start penalties. No one is worried about Buchanan getting too gung-ho to make a play.
C - Chester Pitts; Can't break the every snap in franchise history streak, and we've tried him at guard (which didn't work) and tackle (which mostly did) so clearly we need to see what he looks like at center.
RG - Andre Johnson; Because clearly we need playmakers on the Oline.
RT - Tony Hollings; We need to get this guy on the field for talent evaluation and this was the only open spot.
TE - Dunta Robinson; Because.
WR #1 - CC Brown; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
WR #2 - Glenn Earl; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
WR #3 - Marcus Coleman; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
WR #4 - Corey Bradford; We need him to get more experience with not dropping the ball, and this is a good opportunity.
FB - David Carr; One thing we know about Carr, he can take a pounding.
RB - Travis Johnson; 1st round draft picks need to contribute more than we've let him so far.
QB - Kris Brown
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Kris Brown was a QB in high school. We may want to try him out at TE instead. How about Kris Brown the KR? :cool:
 
Sarg01 said:
Chester Pitts; Can't break the every snap in franchise history streak, and we've tried him at guard (which didn't work) and tackle (which mostly did) so clearly we need to see what he looks like at center.
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I contest that statement Sarg01. Pitts got a year and a couple of games at LG and he didn't do that bad a job considering that it was his first time to ever play any position other than LT.

I'd say it worked because he got the job done and was improving. The Texans just blew the call and decided to sit Wand (I still believe he's done something the earn Pendry's wrath) and bring in Riley. We all saw what happened with that.

It's hard to do a good job judging the players on the line when their coaches seem to go out of their way to destroy any chemisty that looks like it might develop. We never did get to see if Wand improved in his second year because his second year never happened. The line on opening day should have been

Wand-Pitts-McKinney-Weigert-Wade

If they looked like there was no improvement then sure, make changes. This team didn't even look at that combination as a possibility.
 
i say we put Kris Brown at FB, Carr at RB and Johnson at QB. nothing like a big and slow qb who cant run from the blitz :)
 
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