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Jerrah jones: I want me some glory hole

Stemp

Stemp

Brew Master
Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones admits he is seeking “glory hole” days for his franchise, which last made the playoffs in 2009 and has won only two playoff games since its triumph over Pittsburgh in Super Bowl XXX to close the 1995 season.

Jones was offering praise to veteran tight end Jason Witten for saying the Cowboys cannot settle for “the same old story” again in 2012. Jones declared it good for younger players to hear such perspective from a player who has “been outstanding” but has “not gotten the brass ring.”

Jones said Witten’s comments also motivate him. From there, he proceeded to launch into the most memorable comment of today’s opening news conference about the Cowboys seeking a return to their “glory hole” days of yesteryear.

*“For me, it’s a reminder,” Jones said. “I’ve been here 23 years. I’ve been here when it was glory hole days and I’ve been here when it wasn’t. And, so, having said that, I want me some glory hole. So I have that perspective.”
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http://sportsblogs.star-telegram.com/cowboys/2012/07/jones-says-cowboys-seek-return-to-glory-hole-days-of-yesteryear.html
 
OMG.

stunned-face.jpg
 
I think we can safely say that THAT is the most hilarious media blunder that any sports person has ever said. Ever.

Can we go ahead and take a vote on that?

Geez. What a sad day for Cowboys fans. LOL.
 
Someone could really do something funny here with Photoshop ... however I would not even dare to Google "glory hole" images for fear it would show some occupied.

Edit: See above post ..lol. Thankfully I didn't have to do that.
 
Hookem Horns said:
Someone could really do something funny here with Photoshop ... however I would not even dare to Google "glory hole" images for fear it would show some occupied.

Edit: See above post ..lol. Thankfully I didn't have to do that.
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Well, my eyes are burning at the $hit I had to sift through to find these images. I need to go make myself throw up and pour bleach in my eyes, but other than that, I don't think there will be any long term effects.
 
Cjeremy635 said:
There is no way that his memeber is that big. Besides, is that his way of telling God to suck it? Maybe it is and that's why they've gone down the tube for over a decade....:thinking:
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There is no way the Jerrah isn't delusional enough to believe that his member is that big.......
 
He next will come out and explain how his dream glory hole would be more glittery than the Texans dream glory hole.

“The Cowboys are about about glitz and glitter"
 
Sadly, some of the jokes poke fun at one of the following alternate definitions:

1. a hole in wich gold is located on gold rush Alaska;
2. A room or cupboard used for storing miscellaneous articles, too good to be thrown out or given away, which may be useful at some future time;
3. A hole in the counter at a coffeehouse, used to dispose of trash (send it to glory, as it were);
4. A furnace used by glassblowers to heat pieces while working.

From the Urban Dictionary linked earlier in this post. Of course, I think the standard definition makes his comment funnier than hell. Also makes me wonder what goes on in those locker rooms. Of course, it also makes me think of the scene from Porky's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFVeDfyLUkk&feature=related
 
Cerberus said:
Sadly, some of the jokes poke fun at one of the following alternate definitions:

1. a hole in wich gold is located on gold rush Alaska;
2. A room or cupboard used for storing miscellaneous articles, too good to be thrown out or given away, which may be useful at some future time;
3. A hole in the counter at a coffeehouse, used to dispose of trash (send it to glory, as it were);
4. A furnace used by glassblowers to heat pieces while working.

From the Urban Dictionary linked earlier in this post. Of course, I think the standard definition makes his comment funnier than hell. Also makes me wonder what goes on in those locker rooms. Of course, it also makes me think of the scene from Porky's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFVeDfyLUkk&feature=related
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That had to be the definition he was referring to. Because when I think of the Cowboys, I think of trash. :cool:
 
Cerberus said:
Sadly, some of the jokes poke fun at one of the following alternate definitions:

1. a hole in wich gold is located on gold rush Alaska;
2. A room or cupboard used for storing miscellaneous articles, too good to be thrown out or given away, which may be useful at some future time;
3. A hole in the counter at a coffeehouse, used to dispose of trash (send it to glory, as it were);
4. A furnace used by glassblowers to heat pieces while working.

From the Urban Dictionary linked earlier in this post. Of course, I think the standard definition makes his comment funnier than hell. Also makes me wonder what goes on in those locker rooms. Of course, it also makes me think of the scene from Porky's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFVeDfyLUkk&feature=related
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He was probably talking about this church...

images
 
Honestly, I didn't know the sexual meaning of that term .. and for good reason.

When I first thought of "Glory Hole" and the Cowboys I thought of this ..

rusrty-toilet-bowl-in.jpg
 
I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.
 
ArlingtonTexan said:
I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.
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Now why would we let the actual definition he was referring to get in the way when we have a chance to make fun of Mr. Burns in Dallas?
 
ArlingtonTexan said:
I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.
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Tosh.0 and my wife's fav, The Soup, are always making fun of that 'reality' show "Gold Rush" because they are always referring to the glory hole. There is a reason why The Soup and Tosh find it funny like we do. It just is! :D
 
Double Barrel said:
Tosh.0 and my wife's fav, The Soup, are always making fun of that 'reality' show "Gold Rush" because they are always referring to the glory hole. There is a reason why The Soup and Tosh find it funny like we do. It just is! :D
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Exactly!!!

How flipping hard is it to say glory DAYS instead if glory HOLE?

Hey, does anybody have a fag I can set on fire? Oops, fag (cigarette) is also a name for something else.

Using words that carry double meanings is sometimes inviting the jokes.
 
ArlingtonTexan said:
I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.
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Yeah, but when the PR guy pointed out that at the press conference, in an ill fated attempt at controlling the situation, Jerry's word for word response was "That's news to me."
 
ChampionTexan said:
Yeah, but when the PR guy pointed out that at the press conference, in an ill fated attempt at controlling the situation, Jerry's word for word response was "That's news to me."
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I think that was jerry trying to be funny. since he made bunches of money in that industry there is about zero chance that he had never hear used in that way. I think that dude has been way more lucky than smart and i hate paying extra tax every time i buy toilet paper, but even that clown is not that unaware or stupid. .
 
ArlingtonTexan said:
I think that was jerry trying to be funny. since he made bunches of money in that industry there is about zero chance that he had never hear used in that way. I think that dude has been way more lucky than smart and i hate paying extra tax every time i buy toilet paper, but even that clown is not that unaware or stupid. .
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Not saying he didn't, just that him saying he didn't made it look even worse than it already was.
 
Jerrah was a teenager around the time Moses was born. Not his fault he didnt know -I dont think the Egyptians had glory holes...

(If theres something I dont know about the pyramids please correct me!)
 
the cowboys have announced the stadium has changed names

2190766312_eaf4623991_z.jpg



the cowboys have released latest uniforms

texas_glory_hole_tshirt-rb6fdc84e4fce46418f5e487113fc91fe_f039p_400.jpg
 
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I am going to write a new fight song this sorry ass team. It may take me a while, but the title is easy and so is the chorus. Sing it with me.







GLORY GLORY HOLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!
 
GlassHalfFull said:
I hate to ask, but just can't resist. What exactly is a glory hole? :hides:
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In Oil Exploration and Gold hunting a Glory hole is basically a hole in the ground where there is a large cachet of the desired product: Crude oil or gold. What Jerry was referring to was in the 90s he had a great team that won championships. He wants the glory holes(championships) rather than the drought the team has been in since the 90s.

Of course, the term glory hole means something very different to most people. This is a great example where Jerry had no idea of the other meaning and as a result looks really out of touch.
 
Hopelessly diluted old man desperately trying for one more moment of glory in the spotlight.
 
IDEXAN said:
Hopelessly diluted old man desperately trying for one more moment of glory in the spotlight.
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Now he is calling out the Giants who beat his a** down twice last season and won another SB. It must really suck being a Cowboys fan having this assclown running the show over there.
 
Hookem Horns said:
Now he is calling out the Giants who beat his a** down twice last season and won another SB. It must really suck being a Cowboys fan having this assclown running the show over there.
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We'll be alright. Ya know we probably have more endurance than any other fan base.
 
StarStruck said:
We'll be alright. Ya know we probably have more endurance than any other fan base.
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It does suck to root for a team where you hate the owner. We had to deal with Bud Adams for too long.

Ownership makes all of the difference. Growing up a Dodgers fan I saw that organization go from total class to crap overnight because of change of ownership. Now with another new owner it looks like they are going back the other way.

Not only is Jones a meddling / bad owner, he is also an embarrasment to that organization. I know many former Cowboys fans back in Texas that jumped ship because of him. If the Texans continue to rise and the Cowboys stay in neutral I forsee a lot more jumping on the Texans bandwagon, especially in areas of Texas outside of Dallas.
 
Hookem Horns said:
It does suck to root for a team where you hate the owner. We had to deal with Bud Adams for too long.
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Growing up a Cowboys fan you basically weren't even aware of the ownership. The face of the franchise was Tom Landry. Then Jones came in fired Landry and made himself the face of the franchise. He had brief success while inexperienced enough to give way to Jimmy Johnson. Otherwise his third leg is flat from having stepped on it.
 
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