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Deadspin: Why the Texans Suck

banned1976 said:
Pretty funny with some truth, some falsehood and wild theory.

https://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2019-houston-texans-1837273705/amp
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From the article:

The Texans are the culminating masterstroke of Houston’s lawless zoning plan: an NFL team dropped in the center of a patchwork metropolis that desperately, desperately needed that $200 million in tax money for functional dams instead of a home for subpar football.
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I remember a very VERY long time ago voting against some bond sale for a sports stadium, maybe this one, maybe another, I don't remember. But, I did vote against it.
 
Not sure why they felt like they needed to include something about a black qb to start things off, but the highlight for me was quoting the fan that said, "At this point, the Texans are basically just a Patriots-themed cover band."
 
Max said:
Not sure why they felt like they needed to include something about a black qb to start things off, but the highlight for me was quoting the fan that said, "At this point, the Texans are basically just a Patriots-themed cover band."
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Not even. That's an insult to what the Patriots put together year to year.

They may want to be, but they are nothing like the Patriots.
 
Toro Bravo said:
I always like to consider the source in articles such as this. It seems to be the opinion of the author who was born in Australia, grew up in Minnesota and Connecticut and went to college in Michigan and Maine. WTF does Drew Magary know about the Texans, Houston or anything south of the Mason-Dixon line?
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It's the equivalent of an over-the-top Don Rickles roast done for every team. It's not really trying to be serious analysis.
 
Texecutioner said:
Not even. That's an insult to what the Patriots put together year to year.

They may want to be, but they are nothing like the Patriots.
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I’m sorry I don’t think you, uuh...what?! The quote literally said THIS! How the hell did that go way over your head?
 
Max said:
Pretty sure that you just summed up the meaning of the quote.
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I dont know, I've heard some pretty decent cover bands..... if we were a cover band we would definitely be Bill and Ted. Arguing about what we need to be good.. a "Triumphant video" or Eddie Van Halen...
 
Poor player development is why we suck all the time.

There is no plan............ like just make Kalil starter LT........... why I dunno............. durrrrrrrrrrr

Why the hell did we even davenport play at LT, why draft Rankin................. no plan just pick random things from thin air.
 
Seegara said:
This thread wasn't too good of an idea.
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ipaVrZ8_d.jpg
 
Hey man I just call out your disrespect of this thread and throw it back...... least your cool about it.

Hahaha

I am afraid of this "meme" world. I really am wonder what the meme would be when the nukes fly?..................... I would imagine a toilet with turn circling the drain. Humans eh?
 
Toro Bravo said:
I always like to consider the source in articles such as this. It seems to be the opinion of the author who was born in Australia, grew up in Minnesota and Connecticut and went to college in Michigan and Maine. WTF does Drew Magary know about the Texans, Houston or anything south of the Mason-Dixon line?
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It's Deadspin, so take it with a bucket much less a grain of salt...anyway, all the clown had to do was come to this message board and cut and paste his info, which any nit-wit can do from anywhere in the world.
 
Oh my God this is soooo good. Havent had this type of chuckle since draft night. "downhome racism .. tamper happy .. good learners" LMAO

seen here after being told he now has permission to make soup from his players’ bones ... O’Brien looks like he knows what he’s doing and acts like he’s knows what he’s doing, but he does NOT know what the fck he’s doing. No matter. He gives off enough Serious Coaching Man vibes to bend an entire franchise to his will
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Here now to protect Watson’s blind side instead will be Panthers washout Matt Kalil, who can block about as good as your dad can at the moment. Please God, someone get Deshaun a competent offensive coaching staff and a line that isn’t made of toilet paper. I beg of you. Why would trade up for a gifted franchise QB only to let him die on the field and be subjected to Aryan Nation horseshit from local school superintendents? Because Texas, that’s why.
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This is a DraftKings roster. It’s not constructed for actual football.
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One of the bigger truths the Deadspin piece stumbled upon was O’Brien’s personality - it’s one of his least positive attributes, at least the one that he displays for the fans and media.

If O’Brien is to rehabilitate his image with the fan base in general he’ll have to do more than win. Personally, you could prop up a boiled lobster at the podium in place of OB, as long as they’re winning I wouldn’t care. Plus I don’t think I’d be able to tell the difference between the two.
 
Meh I don't consider this a roast, roasts are done in good humor by friends of the person being roasted. This has some real venom in it in particular at Bob MacNair. The last line of "Before Bob McNair died, he got to see his vision realized of a Texas, and an AMERICA, where his tasteless needs superseded that of anyone else’s. He will not be missed, nor will the Texans when they fall back into earned mediocrity." doesn't strike me as meant to be funny but meant to be a real shot at someone that is no longer here to defend themselves. Its a kind of cowardly comedy.

I read some of the other team write ups and its more of the same. People on the internet try to be Andrew Dice style comedians but Dice had balls of steel because he did his stuff looking the person in face. Hiding behind a computer screen and keyboard is easy.
 
banned1976 said:
One of the bigger truths the Deadspin piece stumbled upon was O’Brien’s personality - it’s one of his least positive attributes, at least the one that he displays for the fans and media.

If O’Brien is to rehabilitate his image with the fan base in general he’ll have to do more than win. Personally, you could prop up a boiled lobster at the podium in place of OB, as long as they’re winning I wouldn’t care. Plus I don’t think I’d be able to tell the difference between the two.
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https://images.houstonpress.com/media/content/11341459/bob_202_20-_20is_20matt_20kalil_20hurt_3f.mp3
 
maverick512000 said:
Meh I don't consider this a roast, roasts are done in good humor by friends of the person being roasted. This has some real venom in it in particular at Bob MacNair. The last line of "Before Bob McNair died, he got to see his vision realized of a Texas, and an AMERICA, where his tasteless needs superseded that of anyone else’s. He will not be missed, nor will the Texans when they fall back into earned mediocrity." doesn't strike me as meant to be funny but meant to be a real shot at someone that is no longer here to defend themselves. Its a kind of cowardly comedy.
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^This exactly.

Deadspin went from being a straight-talk sports site to being the miserable SJW cop of sports, which came with all the nasty dehumanizing of its targets you'll always find in fringe politics. This example above of personally smearing and dehumanizing McNair after his passing is consistent with that gross brainwashed culture.

A little more background on Deadspin: Gawker had owned it along with the rage-feminist website Jezebel, but Univision bought Deadspin after Hulk Hogan litigiously body slammed Gawker. So the new owners told Deadspin editor and SJW extremist-in-chief Megan Greenwell "Hey, maybe our sports site should stick to sports." She then tendered a hissy fit resignation and (of course) claimed to be the victim. LOL.

So yeah, I welcome critique, but I'm not going to accept it from an activist agit-prop site that masquerades as sports media. Their ultimate motive is to personally destroy political targets, not inform me on sports.
 
NastyNate said:
Lot of thin skin in this thread. It's a yearly article series that cracks me up. Lighten up Francis.
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Not sure what thin skin has to do with anything as I don't think anyone here took it as a personal insult against them. That phrase thin skin is another one that gets thrown around a lot. Just because you call someone or something out for being an attack masquerading as comedy isn't thin skin.
 
thin-skinned
adjective
  1. sensitive to criticism or insults.
Seems like the right word choice to me. Even more so given that the insults are tongue in cheek.
 
Max said:
thin-skinned
adjective
  1. sensitive to criticism or insults.
Seems like the right word choice to me. Even more so given that the insults are tongue in cheek.
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And how do you know they were tongue in cheek? Did they have a disclaimer I missed somewhere?
 
BmtTXN said:
Have you ever read a Deadspin article? It's basically the sports version of The Onion.
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Well first I disagree with you as I don't recall the Onion making statements like someone who has died will not be missed. Second, again just because they hide behind the screen of saying "its just comedy" doesn't mean they shouldn't be called out when they cross the line. My father isn't dead, knock on wood, but if some random stranger said something to me like, I can't wait for him to die and he won't be missed, I don't care if they claim to be joking or were serious I'm knocking their teeth out. Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences.
 
maverick512000 said:
Well first I disagree with you as I don't recall the Onion making statements like someone who has died will not be missed. Second, again just because they hide behind the screen of saying "its just comedy" doesn't mean they shouldn't be called out when they cross the line. My father isn't dead, knock on wood, but if some random stranger said something to me like, I can't wait for him to die and he won't be missed, I don't care if they claim to be joking or were serious I'm knocking their teeth out. Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences.
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My point was that they are both satire/comedy. Some comedy offends. Clearly that comedy isn't for you. That's fine.
 
Max said:
Same disclaimer you get with Andrew Dice Clay.
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At least the "Dice Man" is funny. This Deadspin garbage was just stupid BS strung together to get a reaction. I'm not whining about anything in particular, it's just that it wasn't funny and appeared to be vulgar for the sake of being vulgar. I can't even call it low brow humor because that would be an insult to low brow humor.
 
DocBar said:
At least the "Dice Man" is funny. This Deadspin garbage was just stupid BS strung together to get a reaction. I'm not whining about anything in particular, it's just that it wasn't funny and appeared to be vulgar for the sake of being vulgar. I can't even call it low brow humor because that would be an insult to low brow humor.
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It is unfunny and provided nothing on the football side we don't already know.

I have no problem with people trashing the Texans for their flaws, I do it all the time.
 
TheKDog said:
It is unfunny and provided nothing on the football side we don't already know.

I have no problem with people trashing the Texans for their flaws, I do it all the time.
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Which actually reminds me, one thing I have always respected about you Kdog is no matter how much you argue and disagree with someone you don’t just put them on ignore because you don’t agree with them like Rico does. Props to you for that.
 
maverick512000 said:
Which actually reminds me, one thing I have always respected about you Kdog is no matter how much you argue and disagree with someone you don’t just put them on ignore because you don’t agree with them like Rico does. Props to you for that.
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Thanks. I figure I'm going to be wrong pretty often and the people I disagree with often I actually do agree with sometimes.
 
DocBar said:
At least the "Dice Man" is funny. This Deadspin garbage was just stupid BS strung together to get a reaction. I'm not whining about anything in particular, it's just that it wasn't funny and appeared to be vulgar for the sake of being vulgar. I can't even call it low brow humor because that would be an insult to low brow humor.
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If it wasn't for low class they wouldn't have any at all.
 
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