Cowboys to sell "Jerry wipes" (no joke)

[Stemp]

Jerry's son-in-law Shy Anderson, who was seen cleaning Jones' glasses, has come up with a new product that will be for sale soon on DallasCowboys.com. The product: "Jerry Wipes."

This is not a joke. (Although it begs for a few.) It is not an Onion Sports article. Anderson came up with the idea to design and order eyeglass-cleaning cloths with the words "Jerry Wipes" printed on them, according to the Dallas Morning News.

"They can also be used for spontaneous shoe shining, if necessary," Anderson cracked. "It started out as a joke, but let's see how far we can take it."

There are so many different ways this could not end well.

http://www.nfl.com/news/story/0ap1000000061069/article/jerry-jones-dallas-cowboys-introducing-jerry-wipes

At first, I thought it was something that would be sold with Depends, but oh well.

:wadepalm:

 

[gtexan02]

Make sure you bring your Jerry Wipes before you enter the giant toilet bowl

 

[Playoffs]

Testimonials--

I've been wiping my a$$ with Jerruh for years! -- Eli Manning

 

[chicagotexan2]

I think it is brilliant. Just sell these in the mens room next to the $1 Polo and $1 Drakkar to 'clean up' after you get yourself some




















GLORY HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[ChampionTexan]

 

[gwallaia]

I bet his son-in-law does more than just wipe his glasses.

 

[StarStruck]

Cool. I wonder if Albertson's will stock them or only the pro shop. I rely on good old Albertson's for my BBQ sauce, lighter fluid, charcoal, plasticware and hand sanitizer towelettes. Heard that they are discontinuing the paper towels which weren't that spectacular with the stars down each side, but they were cheap.

 

[TexanSam]

Cool. I wonder if Albertson's will stock them or only the pro shop. I rely on good old Albertson's for my BBQ sauce, lighter fluid, charcoal, plasticware and hand sanitizer towelettes. Heard that they are discontinuing the paper towels which weren't that spectacular with the stars down each side, but they were cheap.

You serious?

 

[HoustonFrog]

I give the guy credit for taking a joke seen everywhere and running with it. People will buy them.

 

[StarStruck]

I give the guy credit for taking a joke seen everywhere and running with it. People will buy them.

I will. I read that the proceeds will be going to Salvation Army.

 

[Dread-Head]

Now if they sold toilet paper with Jerry's face on it.

 

[Stemp]

Now if they sold toilet paper with Jerry's face on it.

You'd think it was used toilet paper.

 

[Dread-Head]

You'd think it was used toilet paper.

I didn't know Lizzards USED Toilet paper!

 

[Say Watt]

This thread is awesome. Please, keep the jokes coming. I have nothing funny to add, but I really ROFL-ing right now!!

 

[GP]

Is it pre-moistened with the tears of Cowboys fans?

 

[Beer and Metal]

So?

I always wipe my Jerry after I take a Jones. It's kinda cool they make a specific product for that now.

 

[chicagotexan2]

Another great innovative product from the cowboys like Nate newtons trunk-o-weed and micHael Irvin's goal line of coke.

 

[FirstTexansFan]

Edited for our enjoyment...

 

[HJam72]

Those are perfect for when I've been drinking Dr. Pepper.