The end of football season is a downer usually but some years (2005 for instance, this year as well) it comes as a relief. I was tired of watching these losers find new ways to screw up games they had put away so I'm on a kind of high note now. Not because they won, screw that. That win was pure garbage time stats and meaningless posturing. I'm happy because they're done embarrassing themselves and the city of Houston for the year. Beating Jacksonville without Garrard and MJD is like winning the Academy Award for Best Actor the year the only other nominee is Larry the Cable Guy. Despite their "Let's Save Gary" effort (which was missing for most of the year) they still suck. When I watched them all standing on the sidelines slapping each other on the back and grinning ear to ear all I could think of was "Screw you guys. Screw you all". I think I may have just officially checked out as a Houston Texans fan. Now in a day or two (maybe even later tonight if Bob can't hold his water) we'll hear about how Gary went through hell this year with all kinds of things that were beyond his control and how Bob still believes in him and all that other bullshit he spins when he thinks he knows what he's talking about and he'll tell us Gary's coming back. He'll tell us that he's going to get Gary a brand new "proven" DC with new assistant coaches wherever they're needed and next year is going to be one heck of a ride. After all the kids didn't quit did they? I can hear him saying "Why you would have thought they were playing for a playoff spot from the way they looked in that game!" Heck maybe Jerry Jones will call him and put in a good word for Wade. That won't ruin my offseason though. It was ruined the moment he said we were on the right track following the Ravens raping. That gushing love letter to the worst head coach in our division, conference, and possibly the entire NFL was all I needed to hear to know that this team is unfixable. It cannot be righted. It cannot be put straight. The Texans are a franchise trapped in the Twilight Zone of professional football. Inheritors of the aura of suck left by the Houston Oilers and graced with the crown of futility left by a crowd of New Orleans Katrina refugees who were no doubt Saints fans through their many years of frustration and ineptitude. The Texans are beyond salvation. Dom Capers couldn't field a good 3-4 here. When has Dom Capers not been able to field a good 3-4 defense? Alex Gibbs couldn't build a line that could generate a running game here. When has Alex Gibbs not been able to build a cut-blocking weapon of destruction? Gary Kubiak can't create an offense here that consistently shows up from week to week or even quarter to quarter? The Texans are "wrong" people. They're like that little kid "Gage" from Pet Sematary who "came back wrong". NFL football in Houston came back wrong after the Oilers left. Maybe Reliant Stadium was built too close to the dome? Maybe we should have torn the dome down before Reliant went up? Somehow the Texans got bad mojo in their veins though and in the process they became the New Orleans Saints of the 21st Century. My offseason now consists of two stages. First there's pre-Kubiak gets fired or given another year time where I am just my usual unhappy we aren't playing Texans fan thinking about the draft. Second there's the post Kubiak gets fired or given another year time which goes one of two possibly wildly divergent ways. Fired and I've got hope. I wait for the draft, dread a lockout, and care about what kind of moves our new HC makes. Given more time though means I see no hope for this team..... ever. The only response I can think of to that is to stop following the NFL entirely. I watched no football at all from the day the Oilers announced they were moving until 2002. I didn't mind it much at all. I can't imagine I'll care even that much about the Texans. Then I thought I was losing a real NFL football team. Giving up on the Texans should be much easier since I care so much less about them. They're like the Diet Coke of NFL Football teams. Only 1 calorie. Not "NFL" enough. I mean, there are no amazing highs in their history to go with all their devastating lows. Just more even more devastating lows beyond the ones we just went through. I think in a day or two I'll be laying this aside entirely guys. If Bob can't tell that Gary needs to go then I'm pretty sure that's for the best. If Vinny can walk away from "all of this" then I think I can too. He might even be on to something.