Titans 3rd Annual Blue Crew Chili Cookoff Tailgate

Discussion in 'Platinum & Blue Tailgate' started by Tedc, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. Tedc

    Tedc Hardheaded

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    The Titans are coming in for our annual chili cookoff. The rules have somewhat changed due to requests from several members. This year you may bring prepared from home chili to compete in our competition.

    Grandma won last year and will be bringing the trophy back for the winner to take home for prominent display in your humble abode, if you have what it takes.

    I will need 5 judges so please PM me with requests.

    Let's eat lots of chili so we may show the Titans what we stink of them!!

    Also, this is our Christmas tailgate so make sure you bring a gift under $20.00 for the White Elephant exchange if you want to participate. Keep in mind that some children may participate so we want to make sure our gifts are appropriate.


    So....WHACHABRINGIN??!!
     
  2. txchick1971

    txchick1971 SassyRedneck

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    I think we're in the yeller lot :dangit:
     
  3. Texan_Bill

    Texan_Bill Subscribed Contributor

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  4. SheTexan

    SheTexan Site Contributor

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    I fully intend to take the trophy back home with me too!! Might just decide to leave it at home to save me some trouble!!:shetexan:

    Gonna bring some spicy MEATBALLS also! If we don't eat um, we can just SMASH um!!:heh:
     
  5. Tedc

    Tedc Hardheaded

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    Just walk on over. We would love to meet ya!:tiphat:
     
  6. Brando

    Brando Site Contributor

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    Just make sure to slip Titans fans a little ex-lax in their Chili.....



    :stirpot:
     
  7. MannyFresh

    MannyFresh El Capitan

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    We'd love to. I'm excited about this Sunday.
     
  8. Tedc

    Tedc Hardheaded

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    No excuses then. We start tailgating at 7 am and we start going in around 11. Be early and ask for me and I will introduce you to everyone.:texflag:
     


  9. Tedc

    Tedc Hardheaded

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    Here is a map of the tailgate for all the people who want to come by.




    [​IMG]
     
  10. txchick1971

    txchick1971 SassyRedneck

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    that's an awful LONG walk....AND, it's my BIRTHDAY weekend.
     
  11. Tedc

    Tedc Hardheaded

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    We are worth it!:wild:
     
  12. Drew_Smoke

    Drew_Smoke @Drew_Smoke

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    It ain't that far and it's Roc's b-day weekend too. All I want for my birhtday is a .500 record for my team.
     
  13. txchick1971

    txchick1971 SassyRedneck

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    i'm sure everyone has read this before but whenever someone says chili cookoff, i always go back to read it.....

    INEXPERIENCED CHILI JUDGE

    Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting
    Texas from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a
    judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last
    moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking
    directions to the beer wagon, when the call came.

    I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili
    wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free
    beer during the tasting. So I accepted."

    Here are the scorecards from the event:

    _________________________________________________________

    CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

    JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

    FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried
    paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope
    that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

    _________________________________________________________

    CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

    JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
    seriously.

    FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what I am
    supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
    give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they
    saw the look on my face.
    __________________________________________________________

    CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

    JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

    FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I
    have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more
    beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is
    in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all the beer.
    ____________________________________________________________

    CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

    JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

    JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
    other mild foods, not much of a chili.

    FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
    taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was
    standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. ***** is starting to
    look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an
    aphrodisiac?

    _______________________________________________________

    CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

    JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
    considerable kick. Very Impressive.

    JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
    the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

    FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can
    no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
    paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
    had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
    beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off?
    It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
    Screw those rednecks!
    ________________________________________________________

    CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

    JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice
    and peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
    Superb.

    FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
    sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat
    through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
    slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips
    anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
    ___________________________________________________

    CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
    chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried
    about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is
    cursing uncontrollably.

    FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't
    feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like
    it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid
    unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my
    damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've
    decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it. I'm not getting
    any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch
    hole in my stomach.
    ____________________________________________________

    CHILI # 8 LESTER'S LAST OF THE RED-HOT LOVER'S CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all,
    not too bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence.

    JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
    hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed
    out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
    if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a
    really hot chili?
     
  14. MannyFresh

    MannyFresh El Capitan

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    I'll fireman carry you there babe. :kingkong:
     
  15. MannyFresh

    MannyFresh El Capitan

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    I'm sure it will be... Gotta do the Shotgun 30 first at the Yellow Lot cause I've never done that before and meet and greet and then we'll head over there to do some more meet and greet.
     
  16. SheTexan

    SheTexan Site Contributor

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    Not gonna be chili weather either. High 75 predicted. Can't we have just ONE FREAKING COLD WEATHER GAME!!!!!!:foottap: The Jags game was chilly, but not cold. Damn, I detest Houston weather!!
     
  17. DocBar

    DocBar Hall of Fame

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    I detset Houston weather 11 months out of the year. All we have are summer and January. HAving been in very cold climates the last 2 years, I'm ok with this weekend. If you drink enough cold beer, it'll SEEM like chili weather!?!?
     
  18. Joe Texan

    Joe Texan Inducted 04

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    Go sit in the snow all you want Houston is the bomb
     
  19. Texan_Bill

    Texan_Bill Subscribed Contributor

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    It's cold today. Enjoy it. Me, I'm going to hibernate.


    Winter sucks! Cold sucks! Snow sucks (unless it's on TV).
     
  20. Texan_Bill

    Texan_Bill Subscribed Contributor

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    We brought chili last game (as did BullPenPhots and his 13lbs. from what I heard), so we're not sure yet.
     

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