Time to get serious: nicknames

Discussion in 'Texans Talk' started by SrslySirius, Oct 7, 2010.

  1. SrslySirius

    SrslySirius Veteran

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    I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

    First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

    Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

    Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

    Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

    Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

    Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

    Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

    The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

    But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:

    [​IMG]

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    [​IMG]

    It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?
     
  2. Hervoyel

    Hervoyel The Right Track

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    :mcnugget:

    :cricket: :cricket:
     
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  3. Texanmike02

    Texanmike02 Site Contributor

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    signed,
    Srsly "I should stick to putting nicknames on jerseys and avoid coming up with nicknames" Sirius
     
  4. jaayteetx

    jaayteetx Hall of Fame

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    Your f*&^ing with us.....right?
     
  5. SrslySirius

    SrslySirius Veteran

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    Maybe.
     
  6. brakos82

    brakos82 Hall of Fame

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  7. SheTexan

    SheTexan Site Contributor

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    Hummmmm! I think POLLARD, FOSTER, and SCHAUB are just fine with me!

    Some of the TEXANS finest don't need nicknames! What they do on the field speaks volumns, and is all that matters. JMO!!:)
     
  8. Showtime100

    Showtime100 Got JJ?

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    Same here. Besides, nicknames find players and not the other way around. Just ask Sage Rosencopt......I mean Sage Rosenfels.
     


  9. ChampionTexan

    ChampionTexan Site Contributor

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    [​IMG]
    :lion:
     
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  10. Thorn

    Thorn Dirty Old Man

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    I'm thinking putting "Pee Pee" on the back of Pollard's uniform would so enrage him, it would seriously endanger the lives of anyone not wearing a Texans uniform. LOL
     
  11. Texecutioner

    Texecutioner Hall of Fame

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    :wadepalm::wadepalm::wadepalm: at these suggestions for nicknames.
     
  12. SrslySirius

    SrslySirius Veteran

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    [​IMG]
     
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  13. TexansBull

    TexansBull Hall of Fame

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    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

    I just want to thank you for making me feel a little better about my thread about naming Reliant Stadium The Octagon to relate it to The House of Pain. My idea was near as worse as these.

    Also, blame 610. They have been on a nicknaming freenzy in the mornings.
     
  14. SrslySirius

    SrslySirius Veteran

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    I hate that this needs explaining, but that was pretty much the point I was trying to make with this thread.
     
  15. AnthonyE

    AnthonyE Lurker

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    I think I just found my new favorite poster. Welcome aboard.

    Anyone who posts sad troll face is a-ok in my book.

    Besides, I thought this post was pretty amazing.
     
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  16. Errant Hothy

    Errant Hothy Hypermediocrity

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    I'll second this.

    :bravo: SrslySirius :bravo:
     
  17. stingray

    stingray Hall of Fame

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    How bout Arian "Plato" Foster. Since he's such a philosopher and all.
     
  18. Showtime100

    Showtime100 Got JJ?

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    Lol. Maybe Arian "Bueller" Foster.

    A scene from the movie: Team meeting, actor Ben Stein, "Foster..........Foster..........Foster......."
     
  19. ArlingtonTexan

    ArlingtonTexan Moderator Staff Member

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    The best nicknames are the ones that just happen. Relax and let the name come to us when it is time a really good one will appear.
     
  20. stingray

    stingray Hall of Fame

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    Hahaha.. That's a good one.
     

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