The Texans-Broncos Connection: An Inter-Office Memo

Discussion in 'Texans Talk' started by Wolf, Jan 15, 2009.

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  1. Wolf

    Wolf 100% Texan

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    http://blogs.houstonpress.com/ballz/2009/01/the_texans-broncos_connection.php

     
  2. GP

    GP Go Texans!

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    From: Gary Kubiak
    To: Bob McNair, Owner
    RE: Defensive Coach Hirings
    Date: January 15, 2009

    Mr. McNair:

    Can't write too long of a response to your memo. I am headed to a meeting with Steve Slaton, at his Rookie of the Month award photo shoot being held downtown. That's Steve Slaton, the guy I chose in the 3rd round while also picking up a left tackle in the first round by trading down.

    Things are looking up. We had two multiple winning streaks, both sets were the first in Texans history. We had a rough start playing four teams who were playoff teams last season, as well as that whole Hurricane Ike thing that wreaked havock with our player's living conditions, their mindset, and such. But we didn't give up, Mr. McNair. I am proud of our guys for hanging tough and not giving into the ways of such teams as the Lions, the Raiders, the Bengals, the Rams, the Seahawks, the 49ers, the Jaguars, and a whole host of other teams that just looked lost and pitiful all year long.

    We'll have our best draft yet. Got a new kid coming to help coach the secondary, he takes after his dad and he's a go-getter for sure. Got stuck in bad timing situation in K.C. but it's nothing that the nations' finest facility, owner, and fans can't help remedy.

    Well, gotta' run Mr. McNair.

    Sincerely,

    Gary Kubiak, Houston Broncos
     
  3. m5kwatts

    m5kwatts Hall of Fame

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    From: Gary Kubiak
    To: Texans Fans
    Re: your ignorance
    Date: January 14, 2009

    Fans:

    When I accepted Mr. McNair's offer to coach this team I was adopting a dog with fleas. Yes, I brought it upon myself. And yes I may have given David Carr an endorsement in the interview, because it would have been highly unlikely that I would have been offered the job if I had said otherwise. The idea was perhaps a new voice and competent coaching in Carr's ear could turn his career around. After a mere season I was able to come to the conclusion that David Carr would never be a quality quarterback in this league so we cut bait. To be honest, 6-10 in the 2006 season was a miracle. The team was pretty awful and most of its best players were rookies. I beat the Colts for the first time in franchise history with RON FREAKING DAYNE as my starting tailback. The 2007 season ending in .500 fashion was even more of a miracle. Wasn't every starter on this team on the IR by season's end? Which brings me to our 2008 season. For the third straight year the offense improved by leaps and bounds. Just think, this offense just 3 seasons ago couldn't make plays greater than 10 yards by air or ground, now is tied for the league lead in plays of 20+ yards or more. I have installed a high-quality offense for your football team, which is what I was brought here to do. I don't call defensive plays. I couldn't get Frank Bush to DC when I first got here so I settled for Richard Smith. My bad. Oh and all those turnovers on offense, if I had teleconesis I would ensure that our players protected the ball but I do not have the powers like the way you think saviors like Bill Cowher or Marty Schottenheimer have. Quit being a bunch of whiney babies and appreciate what has been built in just 3 seasons from scraps. I'm a great offensive mind and I'm becoming a better NFL coach.

    Sincerely, the only reason this franchise is respectable at the moment.
     
  4. Second Honeymoon

    Second Honeymoon Hall of Fame

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    From: The Fans
    To: Gary Kubiak

    Re: Winning

    Gary, just please shut the hell up and win already.

    Signed,

    Fans that are sick of the excuses
     
    TomLandryFan likes this.
  5. b0ng

    b0ng Ooops

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    To: Second Honeymoon
    From: Gary Kubiak

    You First.

    Sincerely,
    The Coach that is keeping this team from being a laughingstock.
     
    Pantherstang84, Revolution and Brando like this.
  6. Thorn

    Thorn Dirty Old Man

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    TO: Mods and Admins
    FROM: The Board Owner

    It appears the offseason is upon us once again. Your usual supply of Valium and 20 cases of Jack Daniels is being FedEx'd to you right away. Good luck.
     
    Brando, Pantherstang84 and Vinny like this.
  7. infantrycak

    infantrycak Mod. Staff Member

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    Just send the Jack--wouldn't want to mix.
     
  8. TimeKiller

    TimeKiller Guest

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    To: Board Owner
    From: Mods and Admins

    Re: Delivery Address

    Make that out to Timekiller at....
     


  9. TexansFanatic

    TexansFanatic Extremist

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    Outstanding.
     
  10. Specnatz

    Specnatz Site Contributor

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    To: Second Honeymoon

    From: Gary Kubiak

    Subject: Temper Tantrums

    I know it is hard for you not to throw tantrums all the time and never have anything positive to say. Like when you called me stupid and ignorant cause I did not draft that mommas boy, vince. How about during my second season here and after the first 4 games you wanted me fired and Bill Cowher hired. It seems Bill was adament about wanting to sit out two years. Or when you went ballistic after I selected Brown as my first round selection and you wanted a runningback in the first round. I am so sorry that I chose a RB who led all rookies with 1282 yard rushing (6th overall in the league) and also had 377 yards rec. Maybe I do know a hell of a lot more about what I am doing than you do.

    Thanks but I think I got it covered. I look forward to your tirade this April after my first round selection in the NFL Draft.

    Here is to a winning season in 2009.

    Sincerely,

    Gary Kubiak
     
  11. Shaft75

    Shaft75 Site Contributor

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    To: Shaft75

    From: Reliant Stadium's Beer Vendor

    Subject: Thank You

    We just wanted to thank you for all of the beer that you bought from us last year. Although it didn't equal your total for the 2005 season, our records show that you have spent around $7.25 million worth of beer in 2008. We know that this only equates to a couple of six-packs, and you are greatly appreciated.

    Sincerely,

    Reliant Stadium
     
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  12. Brando

    Brando Site Contributor

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    Brilliant!:goodpost:
     
  13. Pantherstang84

    Pantherstang84 @rolisrgti06

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    Indeed! I'm repping both.:thisbig:
     
  14. Pantherstang84

    Pantherstang84 @rolisrgti06

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    To: TexansTalk.com Message Board Contributors

    From: Pantherstang84

    Subject: This Thread


    Keep em comin folks. This is the best thread eva!

    Pantherstang84
     
  15. GP

    GP Go Texans!

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    TO: Richard Justice
    FROM: Gary Kubiak & Rick Smith
    RE: You, you butt dart!
    DATE: Each freaking day

    Dick,

    Stop being one.

    Ever so sincerely,

    Smithiak
     
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  16. cuppacoffee

    cuppacoffee Resident Grouch

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    :spit:....:rofl:

    My sides hurt.

    :coffee:
     
  17. Lucky

    Lucky Moderator

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    From: Bob Knight
    To: Texans fans who dare to complain
    Re: Seven years of mediocre football

    Why don't you just lay back and enjoy it?

    Sincerely,
    Dick Justice's favorite coach
     
    SeƱor Stan likes this.
  18. axman40

    axman40 Hall of Fame

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    You sir will never be Governor of the Great State of Texas!
    :cowboy1:
     
  19. nero THE zero

    nero THE zero Hall of Fame

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    :spit:
     
  20. Thorn

    Thorn Dirty Old Man

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    butt dart??!! hahahaha Ok, that's a new one for me. Thanks for using it here, 'cause now I got something new to call my friends at work. LOLOLOL
     
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