Our new staff is so inexperienced that....

Discussion in 'Texans Talk' started by Porky, Feb 7, 2006.

  1. Porky

    Porky Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2004
    Messages:
    12,454
    Likes Received:
    986
    Okay, how about a little levity. Bring your Texans clean jokes, puns, humerous stories, or anything that amuses you about our Texans. I will start. This is all in good fun. Nothing serious here folks. Please save that for other threads.

    Our new staff is so inexperienced that instead of a ribbon cutting ceromony to introduce the new staff, they are having an umblical cord cutting ceromony.

    Our new staff is so inexperienced that Mcnair has hired an OB/GYN Dr. on staff to spank them when they are introduced.

    Our new WR coach was lured to the Texans by the promise of an Xbox and an Ipod. (Thanks Vinny!)

    Okay, these are lame. So let's see what you got.
     
  2. Double Barrel

    Double Barrel Modified Simian

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2004
    Messages:
    33,257
    Likes Received:
    2,987
    Location:
    Onward, Upward, and back into the Trees
    Our staff is so inexperienced that they'll argue about decisions because they could do it in Madden NFL 2006.
     
    cadahnic likes this.
  3. Cjeremy635

    Cjeremy635 Overtraining

    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    Messages:
    7,696
    Likes Received:
    862
    Location:
    Huffman, Texas
    I don't have any jokes on the Texans new staff, but I have a few on the team as a whole. Here they go:

    The Texan's organization is thinking of changing their name to the Houston Tampons because they are only good for one period and they have no second string.

    When the Texans fired Capers, they were considering hiring Monica Lewinski for the head coaching poistion. She might blow a few but we know she won't choke on the big ones.

    That's all I can remember right now. I don't know if they stay on this board or get erased because they might be unappropriate material. Anyways, enjoy.:yahoo:
     
  4. Porky

    Porky Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2004
    Messages:
    12,454
    Likes Received:
    986
    There once was a Quaterback named Carr, who thought he would really go far...

    Until his line caved, and began to misbehave...

    And now he is often seen in a bar.
     
  5. Texan Asylum

    Texan Asylum Christian

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    6,056
    Likes Received:
    624
    Location:
    Kansas
    That's the funniest thing I've read in a while.:tv:

    texanpride We CAN laugh at ourselves.
     
  6. Texan Asylum

    Texan Asylum Christian

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    6,056
    Likes Received:
    624
    Location:
    Kansas
    Hey, would that make our practice squad The Houston CoTexans.:)
     
  7. Str8tupg42k1

    Str8tupg42k1 Veteran

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2004
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Houston

    ROLF LMAO Man that was so funny my stomach hurts.That one of the few times I wanted to stop laughing.
     
  8. TEXANRED

    TEXANRED Texan-American

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,918
    Likes Received:
    694
    The staff is so inexperienced they read this message board for advise.
     


  9. Cjeremy635

    Cjeremy635 Overtraining

    Joined:
    May 27, 2005
    Messages:
    7,696
    Likes Received:
    862
    Location:
    Huffman, Texas
    2006 TEXANS SCHEDULE
    September 14................Taft Junior High School
    September 21...............Cub Scout Troop ..101
    September 28................Houston Blind Academy
    October 05.................Spanish American War Vets
    October 12................ Crippled Children's Home
    October 19............... Montgomery Mental Hospital
    October 26................ Girl Scout Troop .. 353
    November 02.................Texas Venereal Disease Clinic
    November 09.................Sugarland Boys Choir
    November 16.................Korean Amputees
    SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
    December 08..................Cypress Gay Boys Club
    ** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
    1 - When playing polio patients, the Texans must not disconnect knee braces.
    2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Texans must not hide the football under their jerseys.
    ** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
    1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line for all you Texans fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
    2 - The Texans will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
    3 - The Texans will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
    4 - The Texans will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
    5 - The Texans will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.:yahoo:
     
    Porky likes this.
  10. Porky

    Porky Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2004
    Messages:
    12,454
    Likes Received:
    986
    Hilarious.

    Didn't the Houston blind academy pick off Carr 3 times the last time they played though?

    The early line has a pickem on the game with Girl Scout Troop 353.
     
  11. Jack Bauer

    Jack Bauer All Pro

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2005
    Messages:
    721
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Los Angeles
  12. TEXANRED

    TEXANRED Texan-American

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,918
    Likes Received:
    694
    Whats the over/under?
     
  13. Vinny

    Vinny shiny happy fan Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2004
    Messages:
    21,847
    Likes Received:
    1,513
    The Roethlis-burger is a burger named after the popular Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. It costs $7 (the number Ben Roethlisberger wears) at Peppi's restaurants in Pittsburgh; cheese is 7 cents extra. The burger is topped with one and a half pounds of beef and sausage, as well as scrambled eggs, lettuce, tomato and American cheese on a Portuguese roll.

    [​IMG]

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roethlis-burger

    You dont want to see a carr-burger. Its an empty bun with an IOU for some meat later on when they can get better quality pickles and lettuce.

    :redtowel:
     
  14. dirty steve

    dirty steve Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    May 13, 2004
    Messages:
    1,146
    Likes Received:
    28
    Location:
    Friendswood
    that was hilarious vinny. you missed the pro-bowlers roethlisberger has to work with on that o-line.
     
  15. Vinny

    Vinny shiny happy fan Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2004
    Messages:
    21,847
    Likes Received:
    1,513
    That's where the IOU comes in I guess...:ok:
     
  16. Porky

    Porky Hall of Fame

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2004
    Messages:
    12,454
    Likes Received:
    986
    2 boxes of Peanut Butter patties, 5 boxes of thin mints, and 4 boxes of caramel deluxe.
     
  17. jerek

    jerek Pro Hobbyist

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2005
    Messages:
    6,632
    Likes Received:
    494
    Location:
    Dublin, OH
    I am as much a DC fan as you will find, but I have to say; this and some of the others are good stuff, no matter who you like or don't like. Even I can get a good laugh out of some of these ...
     
  18. TEXANRED

    TEXANRED Texan-American

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,918
    Likes Received:
    694
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I heard for 86 extra cents it comes with a side of Gaffney Cola that spills out of its cup right before it crosses the counter.
     
  19. TEXANRED

    TEXANRED Texan-American

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2005
    Messages:
    7,918
    Likes Received:
    694
    You had me at caramel deluxe.:)
     
  20. Vinny

    Vinny shiny happy fan Staff Member

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2004
    Messages:
    21,847
    Likes Received:
    1,513
    very nice. funny stuff
     

Share This Page