Warning: Dangerous levels of sarcasm........ When the team sat there at 1-9 they knew they could not improve upon their franchise high seven wins from 2004. At every point it looked possible with the remaining schedule perhaps the softest in league history. The club embarked on a secret plan called "Operation Bush". The club would have to appear not to lose on purpose without giving maximum effort. OBSTACLE ONE: RAMS The Rams had one of the worst defenses going in and rumors that their first two QBs couldn't go. The game started innocently enough with Martin getting the start, but when he got knocked out and the Texans mounted a 24-3 lead, gloom came over the faces of the Texans brass. Charlie Casserly just saw Bush torch Fresno State and he was freaking out. Not to worry, Fangio got to work in the lockerroom devising a defense. Since David Carr has never been on board, the offensive staff went to work on the Texans recievers and running backs. They told them to pretend to bobble the ball and pop it up so the defenders could intercept it. Giving up 10 points in 35 seconds proved difficult but the defense got it done. OPERATION BUSH MVP: Marcus Coleman drops onside kick and fumbles an interception he never should have made. Clutch. OBSTACLE TWO: Ravens Wow, you bring us an inept defense one week and an inept offense the next. Joe Pendry went to work on this one. After all, the Texans have a reputation being pitiful offensively and everyone knows it would look suspicious for the Texans to surrender 30+ points to this group. Domanick Davis refused to take part in Operation Bush this week. He saw how Bush torched UCLA and knew he needed a job somewhere in the NFL. Besides, his 155 yards took suspicions off of him. Andre Johnson on the other hand had a brilliant week against the Rams, so dropping an easy touchdown wouldn't have NFL officials blowing the whistle. OPERATION BUSH MVP: Texans Offense manages to outgain the Ravens by a significant margin and generate less than them. Definitely clutch. Future Obstacles to Operation Bush: Cardinals, Titans, and 49ers. On tap this week, the Texans brass will work with Dom Capers on keeping his mouth closed on the sideline. The front office took a lot of angry phone calls after Mooch was fired in Detroit. People smelt a rat. The front office privately admitted to insiders that keeping the operation from being discovered was made more difficult by Capers' general inept appearance. Future projects 1) Offensive line- Don't improve too much 2) Shawntee Orr- five and a half sacks in two weeks? Calm down guy, you've got a job next year 3) Talk secretly to teams playing the Jets, Packers, and 49ers. We need breathing room folks.