I am serious about this proposal. If you're expecting a humor thread with funny pictures, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Maybe I'll do a thread like that in the next few days. I believe that a lot of people have the wrong idea about what qualifications NFL coaches, coordinators, and general managers should have. In particular, my point of contention is that experience is a highly desirable quality. It is understandable why people might think this is so. The reasoning is as follows: If someone has played football their entire life, some of it at the professional level, then they must know a lot about football. They have a deep understanding of the underlying strategy, schemes, game planning, and clock management, among other things. They've been in the trenches; experienced it firsthand. They have a unique insight and are more knowledgeable about the game than anyone else. This may be true to a small extent, but the reasoning is mostly flawed. Football is a highly strategic game. Coaches should be able to analyze a team's tendencies and devise ways to exploit them. They should be able to make logically sound decisions under the constraints of time and intense pressure. They should be able to use the vast amount of information available to determine the optimal choice in thousands of specific situations, on the fly. These are skills that require sharp intelligence, an analytical mind, and a strong understanding of probability and statistics. I submit to you that most coaches in the NFL do not possess these skills. Professional jocks are not known to be exceptionally intelligent. These jobs should be given to nerds. Instead of hiring retired football players to do the brainy work, let's hire people who specialize in it. Give me the hotshot day trader with a hard drive full of spreadsheets and an eye for trends. He'll spot the subtle weaknesses and tendencies of opposing teams. Give me the war buff tactician with a degree in game theory who knows the appropriate situations to go for it on 4th or punt late in games, and can manage the clock in his sleep. Give me the statistician who can scour a database and tell you that the Titans blitz on 3rd and long between the 40s X% of the time, and which formations have the highest probability of prevailing against each package. Better yet, give me one with eidetic memory who can do it from the sideline. Don't give me the guy that banged lots of cheerleaders, drank like a sailor, and played a little linebacker in college. I want a coach that has never suited up in his life. Let the conditioning coaches coordinate practices and workouts. Bring in a motivational speaker to make speeches before games. Get a drill sergeant to chew out the players if you must. Those things are important, but they're a lower priority. Let the nerd coaches focus on the important work: devising the optimal strategy to winning football games. And let's do it right now.