I can see the commercial now:
Young man in a sports jersey, eating chips and salsa with other football fans in his living room while watching a game on TV. Turns and looks at camera:
"It seemed like every time I turned around, there he was. Oh sure, he'd go away for awhile, but after weeks of training camp gone by...there he was again. I asked all my friends if they, too, had this problem. And sure enough, they all admitted that it happened to them too. (Sigh) It seemed like a bad soap opera that had no finality, no closure. My salvation wasn't a pill, or a cream. It was a coping method. Now, I can go weeks without a breakout. It's simple, but effective. I just avoid ESPN and that's it. It was difficult at first, but after awhile I could see the difference. I stopped killing random animals out of sheer frustration and anger. I'm actually showering again, as well. So if you have that same problem, you're not alone. Just avoid ESPN. And watch your blood pressure return to normal ranges again. You owe it to yourself, because he's never going away. He can't, you see, because he's a demon."
Yay!