mexican_texan
Furry Tractors
http://www.fullfiguredfella.com/
Scott Jackson's website on the fight for the rights of full figured fellas.
Scott Jackson's website on the fight for the rights of full figured fellas.
I have learned that my readers have a short attention span because they are always seconds away from their next meal. So, with that in mind, I have compiled some of my stats.
Name - Scott Jackson
Aliases - Rampage, Big Love
Dimensions - 6'5" 300 lbs.
26% body fat 73% lean muscle mass and 1% shrapnel (18 surgical screws)
Occupations - Houston Texan and Lobbyist for the Big and Tall
NFL career highlights -
* fastest offensive lineman at 2004 NFL combine
* tested for performance enhancers after posting a blazing 4.94 (results proved that my anabolic levels were naturally superior)
* I was so awesome that all 32 teams passed on me during the draft - but my man JG recognized talent and signed me as an undrafted free agent
* spent a year on the p squad with the Bucs before being elevated to the active roster
* one of 39 undrafted free agents in the '04 NFL rookie class to make a roster
* helped the Buccaneers win the NFC south in '05 by cheering on the sidelines
* picked up by the Texans in '06 after dominating them in a preseason game while with the Bucs
* signed ten different contracts in five years
* over the last five seasons I've made more babies (3) than plays
* commonly referred to as "the greatest player never to play"
* I become a free agent this offseason so that means $$$$$$ (the market is hot for reserve offensive lineman)
I waited until now to disclose my true identity because I was nervous about how my campaign for equal rights would be viewed by the all the teams bidding for my services. I admit that this a radical campaign against "the man" but someone needs to stand up for the rotund. I'm tired of living in little people's shadows.
I also thought that this would be a great opportunity to let GMs across the league know that my foot is healing beautifully from the unprecedented surgery. I know a lot of you have been wondering about my progress. There is only one way to describe it - rehabilitation domination.
So all the GMs (with enough salary cap space) have the opportunity to lock down a hidden gem. Looking for the final piece of the puzzle? You got it right here. My presence on the Texans' IR over the last two seasons have produced back to back non-losing seasons. If you want me, you can talk to my agent, Don "the Dragon" Yee. Please don't waste our time with small offers.