Wolf
100% Texan
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/columnists.nsf/billmcclellan/story/5247FB5DB05F5D7286257463001180AB?OpenDocument
Big Red was our first wife, and we were a good couple. She wasn't very flashy. In fact, she didn't win a single playoff game in our 27 years of marriage, but then again, we weren't exactly a matinee idol ourself. Nobody was confusing us with San Francisco or New York. We were just a pair of sensible shoes, Big Red and us.
She got tired of playing football in a baseball stadium. She wanted her own place. That really wasn't so much to ask after 27 years, was it? But we wouldn't go along with her plan, and she threatened to leave us, and that really set us off. We both said things we shouldn't have. Finally, she left us for Phoenix.
We went to Los Angeles for our second wife. We built her the stadium we had refused to build Big Red. We threw money at her. That's the only reason she married us, and we knew it. She was a head-turner. A Super Bowl winner, the Greatest Show on Turf. We were out of our class. A paunchy, middle-aged guy with a comb-over out there on the dance floor with a supermodel.
In our hearts, we knew this wasn't going to work.
Now we can see the end. Right there in the marriage contract she made us sign, it says the stadium she plays in has to be in the top 25 percent of all NFL stadiums by 2015. There are 32 teams in the league. So our stadium has to be in the top eight. That seems almost impossible. According to a recent story in this newspaper, three stadiums are currently under construction, and that means that 20 of the 32 stadiums will be newer than ours in 2015 and that's if no others are built between now and then.