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The Balding Man Cometh

mexican_texan

Furry Tractors
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It's 2002. The Texans are placed in the newly adjusted confrence, AFC, more specifically, the AFC South. The Texans have just drafted David Carr, a phenomenal quarterback out of the WAC school, Fresno State. We have a great core of veteran players including former Raven Jamie Sharper, former Colt Steve McKinney, former Jet Aaron Glenn, and former Jaguars Gary Walker, Seth Payne, and Tony Boselli. Football is back in Houston and Reliant is rocking. The Cowboys are in town for the team's first game in franchise history. 19-10. We'll never forget that game. 19-10. The touchdown pass to Billy Miller is one that is forever etched in the souls of the Texans faithful. 19-10. The future is bright. We just beat the state rivals. We're undefeated as a franchise. All is looking up.

What went wrong? Didn't we do everything right? Aaron Glenn and Gary Walker were bona fide pro bowlers. Tony Boselli was a lock for the hall of fame. Carr looked like the next strong armed legend from California. It just never fit. Was it Casserly's fault? Caper's? Whoever is to blame, the offensive line was just that, offensive. They had one of the worst years in NFL history, allowing a record 76 sacks. Boselli never played. Gary Walker didn't last long. McKinney...well, he just isn't a pro bowler, to put it nicely. Our cap was bent and broken because of all of the dead money we placed into players that collected a check without really earning it. After a 2-14 season, all looked lost. We were the new Buccaneers of the NFL.

Then came the revolution. The townspeople revolted and beheaded Casserly and Capers, putting an end to the woeful era. Well, actually, they were just fired. Casserly now works for CBS and Capers is Miami's defensive coordinator. Taking their place are former Denver offensive coordinator Gary Kubiak and also from Denver, the great young GM, Rick Smith. Gone are Gary Walker, Jamie Sharper, Jay Foreman, Tony Boselli, and Ryan Young. Now taking their spots are Mario Williams, DeMeco Ryans, Amobi Okoye, Erik Winston, and (hopefully) Charles Spencer. The 2006 season ended 6-10, with a 4-4 finish, including a win over the eventual Super Bowl champion, the Colts.
 
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