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Old 01-02-2013   #1
Texans_Chick
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Default Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

My unified theory of the 2012 Texans and the meaning of life

I explain everything. Focus on penalties, offensive scheme stuff, what is wrong, what is fixable, what is not, what may need to be bandaided, and how momentum is a crock and all sorts of philosophy stuff.

It is an odd blog post. I've been told that some folks prefer my stranger blog posts. Learned stuff when writing it, maybe you will too. Hope you like it.
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Old 01-02-2013   #2
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

Very nice!
You're a good writer, Steph, with the right depth, the sound mind, and a good heart.
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Old 01-02-2013   #3
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

I don't know Steph. I do not remember many fans blaming penalties or tightends as reasons for the losses against Vikes and Colts. Maybe it is just frustration but many point to Kubiak & Schaub (as you know). Yes, QB gets too much credit for wins and too much grief for losses; yet neither of these two looked or acted as if they have a clue. We get it that Matt is better than 70% of other QBs but he is ours so comparing him doesn't do much as we are stuck with him for one more guaranteed year @$7.5m base and $11m cap. If he acted as if he was in charge, as if he was curling on the ground in sack position rather than throwing inerrantly into hands of the D, most of could buy that. Rather he is over throwing, underthrowing and flat out missing targets. He throws a pass to AJ that goes for two yards and Johnson gets knocked silly. Is that the best use of still one of the best WRs in NFL? Sure the younger WRs are questions but we saw Matt again throw inaccurately to Jean. Our LBs will be better with Cushing's return + a probable high round draft pick. Our QBs will remain the same with maybe another late round pick and/or another UDFA ala Case Keenum.

Yes fans are calling radio talk shows to complain but as I recall, Texans were favored by most including Las Vegas to win. Texans fans were not the only ones over rating Texans. It does not look like lack of talent is our primary issue. Same basic talent won 12 and should have won the last two. It is good to be 12-4 and still in hunt. It is not so good watching how we lost those four games and thinking 50-50 we advance past Bengals. "Wait until next year!" will probably remain our battle cry.
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Old 01-02-2013   #4
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

I was in Abaco, Bahamas pretty much the same time you were away. Unfortunately, I was able to view the game live from my villa. Count yourself lucky that real time did not mess up your reel time like it did mine.

Good contribution to the Texans experience, per usual. But the ying I saw last Sunday is greater than your yang.
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Old 01-02-2013   #5
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by badboy View Post
I don't know Steph. I do not remember many fans blaming penalties or tightends as reasons for the losses against Vikes and Colts. Maybe it is just frustration but many point to Kubiak & Schaub (as you know). Yes, QB gets too much credit for wins and too much grief for losses; yet neither of these two looked or acted as if they have a clue. We get it that Matt is better than 70% of other QBs but he is ours so comparing him doesn't do much as we are stuck with him for one more guaranteed year @$7.5m base and $11m cap. If he acted as if he was in charge, as if he was curling on the ground in sack position rather than throwing inerrantly into hands of the D, most of could buy that. Rather he is over throwing, underthrowing and flat out missing targets. He throws a pass to AJ that goes for two yards and Johnson gets knocked silly. Is that the best use of still one of the best WRs in NFL? Sure the younger WRs are questions but we saw Matt again throw inaccurately to Jean. Our LBs will be better with Cushing's return + a probable high round draft pick. Our QBs will remain the same with maybe another late round pick and/or another UDFA ala Case Keenum.

Yes fans are calling radio talk shows to complain but as I recall, Texans were favored by most including Las Vegas to win. Texans fans were not the only ones over rating Texans. It does not look like lack of talent is our primary issue. Same basic talent won 12 and should have won the last two. It is good to be 12-4 and still in hunt. It is not so good watching how we lost those four games and thinking 50-50 we advance past Bengals. "Wait until next year!" will probably remain our battle cry.
I agree with EVERYTHING you said there. ALL OF IT!

I am getting so sick and tired of this automated Matt Schaub Response System that has to tell us that Matt is the guy we need but not the QB we deserve.

Give me a ****ing break with that already! I guess as a fan base we're just too freaking nice and jolly and carefree to give two dollops of **** about REAL RESULTS.

No, no sir. Nope. Uh-uh.

I've heard it all on here over the years: (1) Bob brought football back to Houston, so shut up!, and (2) You have to stick with a guy like Gary because _______ (whatever pet theory someone has goes here), and (3) As if any new coach is going to come in and install new systems and make it any better, and (4) Matt Schaub has one billions yards and is like Top Whatever in this category and that category. I mean, come one guys!, how can he do all of those things and be a guy we need to bench/cut/run out of town on a rail?!?!?

Is there no end to excuses? I guess there's not.

No offense to the OP, and all that jazz, but I have no stomach to read any person's critique that paints a sunny picture of this FRANCHISE. Band aids, gauze pads, plastic surgery, injections of adamantium into the bone marrow of players, alternate universes with separate story lines and alter egos and crap, who gives a "gosh darn and golly gee shucks" at this point what might or might not help/hurt/cure/kill...this team is missing more than just luck with injuries or luck with refs or whatever else can be cooked up. The posters I have seen around here, hardly any of them are blaming anything that shouldn't be blamed. We're all suffering this moment together, shocked that we've been lulled into "hoping" again. As always.

This team is broken. It manages to beat up on only the slow and unwitting, the dregs of NFL society who can't defend themselves from massive pillow fight brawls. When we play a team who punches us FIRST, we curl up into a ball and shrivel away and play scared the rest of the game. As if they DARE! to offer resistance to us.

That's not a tough team, that's a team who falsely believes in itself and hates it when they get exposed. That's on their leader: Gary Kubiak. Period.

Want to know why people clamor for Bill Cowher, even though he's not a legitimate HC choice (to me he's not, at least, not anymore)? Because of his ability to make his team believe in themselves for almost a decade or more. Good GM? Yes they had one when he was there. Good players? Yes, they got a great QB to end those dry spells Cowher had previously. But all in all, no matter what, those Steelers teams believed in themselves to the HILT.

THAT, you can respect. THAT you can admire. I cannot believe this group of Texans let opportunity slip through their fingers so easily. With hardly a whimper! That's on Gary. All the way. And you can't band-aid Gary Kubiak in any shape form or fashion. He's un-bandaid-able. /end.
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Old 01-02-2013   #6
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

Gary can have his next three years. Do your best, Gary. Have at it.



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Old 01-02-2013   #7
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

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Originally Posted by Kaiser Toro View Post
But the ying I saw last Sunday is greater than your yang.
Sounds dirty.
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Old 01-02-2013   #8
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

GP you are the ****in man!
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Old 01-02-2013   #9
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GP you are the ****in man!
It's all I got left.

I feel like that guy who posts Dallas Cowboys video reviews on YouTube after they have a bad loss.

Funny how I felt so sorry for him back then, earlier in the season, and here I am melting down JUST like that dude did. What a difference a few ****ty games can make in your outlook on your team's future, eh?

I think Matt saying "Suh is not Texans worthy" was our mojo-losing moment.

I had an argument with, I think it was ObsiWon or PencilNeck or someone, and I was saying it wasn't a big deal. I think now have decided that I was wrong, it WAS a bad move. I think Matt spoke things he should not have spoken. Right then and there is when we got tainted.
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Old 01-02-2013   #10
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

I'll admit, sometimes the Texans are Will Smith when we need to be Tupac.

Texans, however, will have their slap the **** out of you moments. I think this is the month they do it. If they REALLY want to let old **** go, it'll happen this month for sure.

Or, well, we're making songs about going to Miami or the Summertime.
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Old 01-02-2013   #11
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

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Gary can have his next three years. Do your best, Gary. Have at it.
No, I concede. You know more about running a franchise than McNair, Smith or Kubiak. I can finally agree - blow the whole thing up and start over. Can we at least forfeit the playoff game first to save us further humiliation?
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Old 01-02-2013   #12
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

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No, I concede. You know more about running a franchise than McNair, Smith or Kubiak. I can finally agree - blow the whole thing up and start over. Can we at least forfeit the playoff game first to save us further humiliation?
I honestly downt know who is being sarcastic anymore.

Thanks Gary and Matt!
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Old 01-02-2013   #13
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

Quote:
...to get some answers for my own self because I was sort of angsty in college. Which is a drag for everyone.


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I donít get on many email lists, but Iíve mentioned before how I like the one done by Chapelwood Churchís Dr. Jim Jackson.
Jim is a great guy -- one of the best of us, imo.

Quote:
Everybody has different ways of dealing with expectations and disappointment. For some, chronic, reflexive complaining is a good defensive mechanism to deal with the reality that 31 teams are losers every year, and that even teams that are very, very good and have great coaching donít win the whole thing. If you are negative, you will likely be right. And joy and belief are for suckers and courting misery.
Spot on.


Steph, easily your best work. I've tweeted and twixted and facebooked it in every way I know how. Great job.
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Old 01-02-2013   #14
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

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I am getting so sick and tired of this automated Matt Schaub Response System that has to tell us that Matt is the guy we need but not the QB we deserve.
.
You know what I'm sick and tired of??

People that hate schaub and kubiak so much so, that they're too stupid to realize that the special teams AND DEFENSE suck too.

HEY DEFENSE... Get off the field v. the Colts in the 4th quarter.

Ya see, there's a difference between fans that can criticize the entire team versus people with personal agendas.
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Old 01-02-2013   #15
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

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Originally Posted by Texan_Bill View Post
You know what I'm sick and tired of??

People that hate schaub and kubiak so much so, that they're too stupid to realize that the special teams AND DEFENSE suck too.

HEY DEFENSE... Get off the field v. the Colts in the 4th quarter.

Ya see, there's a difference between fans that can criticize the entire team versus people with personal agendas.
Hey, the Titans had the ball for less than 10 minutes while burning all of the Texans time-outs. What the hell was Schaub doing hiding behind Kubiak's menu?
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Old 01-02-2013   #16
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

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Originally Posted by GP View Post
I agree with EVERYTHING you said there. ALL OF IT!

I am getting so sick and tired of this automated Matt Schaub Response System that has to tell us that Matt is the guy we need but not the QB we deserve.

Give me a ****ing break with that already! I guess as a fan base we're just too freaking nice and jolly and carefree to give two dollops of **** about REAL RESULTS.

No, no sir. Nope. Uh-uh.

I've heard it all on here over the years: (1) Bob brought football back to Houston, so shut up!, and (2) You have to stick with a guy like Gary because _______ (whatever pet theory someone has goes here), and (3) As if any new coach is going to come in and install new systems and make it any better, and (4) Matt Schaub has one billions yards and is like Top Whatever in this category and that category. I mean, come one guys!, how can he do all of those things and be a guy we need to bench/cut/run out of town on a rail?!?!?

Is there no end to excuses? I guess there's not.

No offense to the OP, and all that jazz, but I have no stomach to read any person's critique that paints a sunny picture of this FRANCHISE. Band aids, gauze pads, plastic surgery, injections of adamantium into the bone marrow of players, alternate universes with separate story lines and alter egos and crap, who gives a "gosh darn and golly gee shucks" at this point what might or might not help/hurt/cure/kill...this team is missing more than just luck with injuries or luck with refs or whatever else can be cooked up. The posters I have seen around here, hardly any of them are blaming anything that shouldn't be blamed. We're all suffering this moment together, shocked that we've been lulled into "hoping" again. As always.

This team is broken. It manages to beat up on only the slow and unwitting, the dregs of NFL society who can't defend themselves from massive pillow fight brawls. When we play a team who punches us FIRST, we curl up into a ball and shrivel away and play scared the rest of the game. As if they DARE! to offer resistance to us.

That's not a tough team, that's a team who falsely believes in itself and hates it when they get exposed. That's on their leader: Gary Kubiak. Period.

Want to know why people clamor for Bill Cowher, even though he's not a legitimate HC choice (to me he's not, at least, not anymore)? Because of his ability to make his team believe in themselves for almost a decade or more. Good GM? Yes they had one when he was there. Good players? Yes, they got a great QB to end those dry spells Cowher had previously. But all in all, no matter what, those Steelers teams believed in themselves to the HILT.

THAT, you can respect. THAT you can admire. I cannot believe this group of Texans let opportunity slip through their fingers so easily. With hardly a whimper! That's on Gary. All the way. And you can't band-aid Gary Kubiak in any shape form or fashion. He's un-bandaid-able. /end.
I feel ya, GP. It's just one thing after another with this team. "Gary Kubiak is an offensive genius".. Oh really, Is he? I have always disagreed with that statement. Good/Great offensive minds in the NFL are chameleons. Constantly changing things up, tearing up the play book every week. Gary's conservative nature is in his bones. The league is passing him by, and he continues to cling to this zone blocking schema that is not working (at least against teams worth a hoot). At the beginning of the season, we would be up 24+ points on a team, and give the ball to Foster for his 32nd carry of the game. Uh, talk about not looking ahead. We have a QB who cannot throw a receiver open. A QB who does not go through his progressions. A QB who cringes like he's being stabbed every time he gets sacked. A QB who cannot improvise. A QB that has SERIOUS problems in the redzone. Eeeeeesh! Not good!

The defense is just as guilty. Bradie James was lined up against TY Hilton on that 3rd & 23 TD. Absolutely unacceptable, why was he even on the freaking field? Connor Barwin, getting owned by Luck's hard count. Connor Barwin, generating zero pass rush all season long. Quin/Manning constantly caught out of position. The fact that Brandon Harris received ZERO PT until we had no other options is puzzling to say the least. We traded back into the 2nd round to draft the guy, and it takes massive injuries & 1.5 seasons to get into a game?

Special teams... hahaha, they've been so great.. I have no problems with the job they are doing.

Our schedule is brutal next year. I'll leave it at that.
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Old 01-02-2013   #17
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texan_Bill View Post
You know what I'm sick and tired of??

People that hate schaub and kubiak so much so, that they're too stupid to realize that the special teams AND DEFENSE suck too.

HEY DEFENSE... Get off the field v. the Colts in the 4th quarter.

Ya see, there's a difference between fans that can criticize the entire team versus people with personal agendas.
Kubiak is the Head Coach, and Schaub is the QB... Blame always begins with the HC & QB.
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Old 01-02-2013   #18
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

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Hey, the Titans had the ball for less than 10 minutes while burning all of the Texans time-outs. What the hell was Schaub doing hiding behind Kubiak's menu?
HUH??? That makes no sense to me bro. Sorry bro, I've had an adult beverage, or five!
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Old 01-03-2013   #19
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Originally Posted by Grungo_Taco View Post
I feel ya, GP. It's just one thing after another with this team. "Gary Kubiak is an offensive genius".. Oh really, Is he? I have always disagreed with that statement. Good/Great offensive minds in the NFL are chameleons. Constantly changing things up, tearing up the play book every week. Gary's conservative nature is in his bones. The league is passing him by, and he continues to cling to this zone blocking schema that is not working (at least against teams worth a hoot). At the beginning of the season, we would be up 24+ points on a team, and give the ball to Foster for his 32nd carry of the game. Uh, talk about not looking ahead. We have a QB who cannot throw a receiver open. A QB who does not go through his progressions. A QB who cringes like he's being stabbed every time he gets sacked. A QB who cannot improvise. A QB that has SERIOUS problems in the redzone. Eeeeeesh! Not good!

The defense is just as guilty. Bradie James was lined up against TY Hilton on that 3rd & 23 TD. Absolutely unacceptable, why was he even on the freaking field? Connor Barwin, getting owned by Luck's hard count. Connor Barwin, generating zero pass rush all season long. Quin/Manning constantly caught out of position. The fact that Brandon Harris received ZERO PT until we had no other options is puzzling to say the least. We traded back into the 2nd round to draft the guy, and it takes massive injuries & 1.5 seasons to get into a game?

Special teams... hahaha, they've been so great.. I have no problems with the job they are doing.

Our schedule is brutal next year. I'll leave it at that.
Greaaaaaaaaaaat, more "schedule is brutal" talk. Y'all are going to do this AGAIN?
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Old 01-03-2013   #20
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Default Re: Blog post where I explain everything and nothing.

Stephanie, thank you for always providing the best explanation available for the Texans' offensive strategy. Most people don't even realize how the entire dynamic works, and it's important to know exactly how the system is being thrown off schedule. More importantly, content like this makes it easier for me to win bar debates about the Texans.

One thing that stood out to me in this post was that you passed on the opportunity to dig deeper into Schaub's December performance. My guess is that you are waiting for more evidence before drawing conclusions. For me, I have enough data to confidently armchair diagnose this one: Schaub may not be the only problem, but he is the problem that a playoff team can least afford.

As someone who has read most of your blog posts, I know that you are a big-picture, systemic analyzer. You look at what the system is trying to accomplish, and identify what actions need to be taken for it to execute. But if Schaub does not revert to September form by this Saturday, it will be impossible to attribute the loss to a systemic problem.

Last edited by Brisco_County; 01-03-2013 at 07:02 AM.
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