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Old 01-02-2012   #1
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Wink Cowboys release Jones

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IRVING, TEXAS—In an attempt to cut the franchise's losses and "move forward in a positive direction," the Dallas Cowboys severed ties with controversial owner Jerry Jones Monday, ending their tumultuous 20-year relationship with the divisive figure.

According to sources within the Cowboys organization, the decision to release Jones was influenced by the lack of any playoff victories in more than 12 years, the owner's distracting sideline antics, and his selfish, "me first" attitude, which many said was having a cancerous effect on the clubhouse.

"We value Jerry's contributions to the Cowboys over the past two decades, but it has become painfully clear that we just don't share the same priorities," Cowboys public relations director Richard Dalrymple said. "This wasn't an easy choice to make, but we're confident it is a decision that can only make our team better."
http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/ar...ry-jones,2815/

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Old 01-02-2012   #2
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

MSR?? Come on Hook'em, don't limit my rights to rep a man that deserves it!
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Old 01-02-2012   #3
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Uhmmm, no. He is to stay his rear there as long as every time I buy toilet paper a percentage goes that stadium.
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Old 01-03-2012   #4
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

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Originally Posted by ArlingtonTexan View Post
Uhmmm, no. He is to stay his rear there as long as every time I buy toilet paper a percentage goes that stadium.
Is that the used or unused percentage of your toilet paper?
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Old 01-03-2012   #5
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

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Originally Posted by FirstTexansFan View Post
MSR?? Come on Hook'em, don't limit my rights to rep a man that deserves it!
I got him.
That was priceless.
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Old 01-03-2012   #6
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

lol Published in 2009
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Old 01-03-2012   #7
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

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Originally Posted by SheTexan View Post
lol Published in 2009

As priceless and apropo as ever! LOL!
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Old 01-03-2012   #8
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

I heard the Bengals or Raiders might pick him up off the waiver wire.
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Old 01-03-2012   #9
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Quote:
Originally Posted by hookinreds View Post
Is that the used or unused percentage of your toilet paper?
used.
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Old 01-03-2012   #10
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Took the muff-huggas long enough.
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Old 01-03-2012   #11
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Lol it's a joke. There website is 'TheOnion' where they post fake news based on real life stuff to make people think its real. Basically its a parody news website.
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Old 01-03-2012   #12
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Quote:
Originally Posted by SheTexan View Post
lol Published in 2009
to be republished in

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2019
2020....
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Old 01-03-2012   #13
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

New roof proposed for the Jerruh Dome, a.k.a. Cowboys Stadium:

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Old 01-04-2012   #14
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Sad Jerry Jones radio interview -- he's really sounding bad here:

http://www.theunticket.com/wp-conten...rry-1-3-12.mp3
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Old 01-04-2012   #15
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Quote:
Originally Posted by Playoffs View Post
Sad Jerry Jones radio interview -- he's really sounding bad here:

http://www.theunticket.com/wp-conten...rry-1-3-12.mp3
On a more serious note, but still funny.

http://www.theunticket.com/junior-mi...t-jerry-jones/

When I lived in Dallas, this was the conversation in some way every year. I think everyone up there has realized by now that Jerry is there to stay and make the decisions, but it has to be so difficult to accept about your team.
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Old 01-04-2012   #16
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Quote:
Originally Posted by paycheck71 View Post
On a more serious note, but still funny.

http://www.theunticket.com/junior-mi...t-jerry-jones/

When I lived in Dallas, this was the conversation in some way every year. I think everyone up there has realized by now that Jerry is there to stay and make the decisions, but it has to be so difficult to accept about your team.
As good as the fake jerry Jones it was better when they did the fake Wade with him. The fake Jason Garrett is quality also.
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Old 01-04-2012   #17
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

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Originally Posted by ArlingtonTexan View Post
As good as the fake jerry Jones it was better when they did the fake Wade with him. The fake Jason Garrett is quality also.
Fake Wade and Jerry together were great! Fake Garrett is spot on! Every time I hear Garrett speak, he sounds just like Gordo's version. I have a feeling if the Texans do anything in the playoffs, fake Wade may make a return appearance on the little Ticket.
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Old 01-05-2012   #18
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Quote:
Originally Posted by paycheck71 View Post
On a more serious note, but still funny.

http://www.theunticket.com/junior-mi...t-jerry-jones/

When I lived in Dallas, this was the conversation in some way every year. I think everyone up there has realized by now that Jerry is there to stay and make the decisions, but it has to be so difficult to accept about your team.
LOL.

My favorite little quote from Fake Jerry Jones:

"Our football team avoids physical contact like Star Jones' gay husband...."
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Old 01-05-2012   #19
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Quote:
Originally Posted by GP View Post
LOL.

My favorite little quote from Fake Jerry Jones:

"Our football team avoids physical contact like Star Jones' gay husband...."
From the Halloween party




I don't know why I never noticed the resemblance before...
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Old 01-10-2012   #20
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Default Re: Cowboys release Jones

Quote:
Originally Posted by paycheck71 View Post
I have a feeling if the Texans do anything in the playoffs, fake Wade may make a return appearance on the little Ticket.
Told you.

http://www.theunticket.com/fake-jerry-takes-calls/
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