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Old 11-23-2010   #1
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Default Team Pollardized

After giving the subject much thought, I have decided to back the one person whom I know for sure would coach the Texans the way I see fit ---- ME. I would bring a new level of toughness to the team.

I would not stand for OLE tackles on defense any longer. Wrap the man up and take him to the ground. We would practice in pads every day, proper tackling technique would be essential to getting on the field. Coverage would be just that - coverage. No more standing 20 yards off your man while he runs up and down the field all game. If you can't cover, you are not a DB on my team. Safeties better be able to do what they are supposed to do: Strong Safety should SUPPORT the CB's (who now would know how to cover and tackle), stop the run and knock the piss out of people. D linemen better be able to get off the block and pressure the QB. If you can't get off the block, I can find guys who are hungry that can. The most important aspect of play I want to see from my team as coach is aggresiveness; no more nice soft teams in Texan uniforms.

On offense I would have big strong linemen to block the candy asses who weren't tough enough to play on my team. I want guys who look like they would eat you if possible. Linemen better be ready to protect their QB at all costs, and make huge holes for the RB. My offense would be based on running the ball. Run, run, run. When we get tired of running, we run some more. Oh, then when you bring 8 in the box consistently to stop my run, I will have a QB who can audible and burn your ass in coverage. My QB will not make boneheaded throws once a game because he looks lost. He will be a student of the game, someone who studies to be the best at his profession.

Special teams would be a very interesting place to play on my team. You better be able to tackle, force piss to run uncontrollably down legs when necessary, consistently kick the ball through the upright, and punt more than 30 yards at a time.

Accountability is the key to my coaching philosophy. Everyone is accountable and will perform highly or be replaced.

These are my coaching principles. I hope Mr. McNair will allow me the opportunity to present them this off season in my official interview.
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Old 11-23-2010   #2
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

You got my vote! I will be your GM. I promise to go the the DM school of raping the competition. I will only draft future HOF'ers. I will sign all top FA's to reasonable contracts and cut them if they don't perform to your standards.

Not only that, I will make sure that McNair will never ask you to use a script or "be nice".
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Old 11-23-2010   #3
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

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You got my vote! I will be your GM. I promise to go the the DM school of raping the competition. I will only draft future HOF'ers. I will sign all top FA's to reasonable contracts and cut them if they don't perform to your standards.

Not only that, I will make sure that McNair will never ask you to use a script or "be nice".
I think its time for people to step off DM's ________________ and realize the Rockets experiment has failed.




feel free to madlib
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Old 11-23-2010   #4
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

Can I be in charge of the cheerleaders?
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Old 11-23-2010   #5
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Can I be in charge of the cheerleaders?
Yes you can.
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Old 11-23-2010   #6
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

Didn't you want to buy the Astros as well?

How is that going lol?
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Old 11-23-2010   #7
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

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Didn't you want to buy the Astros as well?

How is that going lol?
Hey.....don't mess with my new boss. Or else I'll revoke your privilages to the cheerleaders dressing room.
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Old 11-23-2010   #8
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

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Didn't you want to buy the Astros as well?

How is that going lol?
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Hey.....don't mess with my new boss. Or else I'll revoke your privilages to the cheerleaders dressing room.
Ima, I haven't received your required donation on that front. Can I expect it soon?



Thorn, good move on your part. I like a man who does his job right the first time.
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Old 11-23-2010   #9
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

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Ima, I haven't received your required donation on that front. Can I expect it soon?



Thorn, good move on your part. I like a man who does his job right the first time.
Don't be spending my money I sent on Boone's Farm buddy
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Old 11-23-2010   #10
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Don't be spending my money I sent on Boone's Farm buddy
Man I drank so much Strawberry Hill in my younger years...... It's all Mad Dog now buddy........
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Old 11-24-2010   #11
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

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Man I drank so much Strawberry Hill in my younger years...... It's all Mad Dog now buddy........
I knew you had class
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Old 11-24-2010   #12
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

I need coaches for my staff. Give me your ideas and why I should hire you...
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Old 11-24-2010   #13
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

No way because I'm about to totally out-coach you in Fantasy on Sunday.
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Old 11-24-2010   #14
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No way because I'm about to totally out-coach you in Fantasy on Sunday.
Hmmmmmmmmm................ Yahoo or NFL.com?
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Old 11-24-2010   #15
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Default Re: Team Pollardized

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I need coaches for my staff. Give me your ideas and why I should hire you...
I can coach the D.

I know how to teach a team to knock the piss out of people.
Imagine a whole team of piss knockers...We will have to hire guys to clean up before the offense comes out though...piss makes the field slippery.

I also understand how to change tactics when the ones in use are no longer working.

Plus anyone who is playing half assed gets the piss knocked out of them.

My name is not Bush...or any type of plant.

How are those qualifications??
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Old 11-24-2010   #16
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I can coach the D.

I know how to teach a team to knock the piss out of people.
Imagine a whole team of piss knockers...We will have to hire guys to clean up before the offense comes out though...piss makes the field slippery.

I also understand how to change tactics when the ones in use are no longer working.

Plus anyone who is playing half assed gets the piss knocked out of them.

My name is not Bush...or any type of plant.

How are those qualifications??
Good interview T. You're hired. Let's find some other coaches/coordinators now!
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Old 11-24-2010   #17
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Good interview T. You're hired. Let's find some other coaches/coordinators now!
I am going to pursue TB for special teams. He is used to operating in danger zones. He knows the value of a good kicker, and how to avoid the gunners. And, he knows how to adjust his game plan for the missed rides.


Got my eye on an OL coach, but don't know if he is willing to interview for the job.
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Old 11-28-2010   #18
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Hmmmmmmmmm................ Yahoo or NFL.com?
Better watch out cause Tebow is gonna have a big adventure on your fantasy team (nfl.com)
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Old 11-28-2010   #19
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Better watch out cause Tebow is gonna have a big adventure on your fantasy team (nfl.com)
Well b0ng, looks like Tebow's big adventure came up a little short.

Great head to head week though!!!!! Hillis is a beast for you. I'm so glad I picked Arian Foster in the 2nd round of both my leagues!!!!!
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