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Old 10-07-2010   #1
SrslySirius
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Default Time to get serious: nicknames

I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:







It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?
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Old 10-07-2010   #2
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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.... It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?



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Old 10-07-2010   #3
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

Quote:
Originally Posted by SrslySirius View Post
I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:







It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?
signed,
Srsly "I should stick to putting nicknames on jerseys and avoid coming up with nicknames" Sirius
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Old 10-07-2010   #4
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

Your f*&^ing with us.....right?
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Old 10-07-2010   #5
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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Your f*&^ing with us.....right?
Maybe.
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Old 10-07-2010   #6
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Old 10-07-2010   #7
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

Hummmmm! I think POLLARD, FOSTER, and SCHAUB are just fine with me!

Some of the TEXANS finest don't need nicknames! What they do on the field speaks volumns, and is all that matters. JMO!!
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Old 10-07-2010   #8
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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Originally Posted by SheTexan View Post
Hummmmm! I think POLLARD, FOSTER, and SCHAUB are just fine with me!

Some of the TEXANS finest don't need nicknames! What they do on the field speaks volumns, and is all that matters. JMO!!
Same here. Besides, nicknames find players and not the other way around. Just ask Sage Rosencopt......I mean Sage Rosenfels.
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Old 10-07-2010   #9
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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Originally Posted by SrslySirius View Post
Maybe.

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Old 10-07-2010   #10
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

I'm thinking putting "Pee Pee" on the back of Pollard's uniform would so enrage him, it would seriously endanger the lives of anyone not wearing a Texans uniform. LOL
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Old 10-07-2010   #11
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

at these suggestions for nicknames.
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Old 10-07-2010   #12
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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Old 10-07-2010   #13
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

I just want to thank you for making me feel a little better about my thread about naming Reliant Stadium The Octagon to relate it to The House of Pain. My idea was near as worse as these.

Also, blame 610. They have been on a nicknaming freenzy in the mornings.
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Old 10-07-2010   #14
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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Originally Posted by TexansBull View Post
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

I just want to thank you for making me feel a little better about my thread about naming Reliant Stadium The Octagon to relate it to The House of Pain. My idea was near as worse as these.

Also, blame 610. They have been on a nicknaming freenzy in the mornings.
I hate that this needs explaining, but that was pretty much the point I was trying to make with this thread.
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Old 10-07-2010   #15
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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I think I just found my new favorite poster. Welcome aboard.

Anyone who posts sad troll face is a-ok in my book.

Besides, I thought this post was pretty amazing.
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Old 10-07-2010   #16
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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I think I just found my new favorite poster. Welcome aboard.

Anyone who posts sad troll face is a-ok in my book.

Besides, I thought this post was pretty amazing.
I'll second this.

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Old 10-07-2010   #17
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

How bout Arian "Plato" Foster. Since he's such a philosopher and all.
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Old 10-07-2010   #18
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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How bout Arian "Plato" Foster. Since he's such a philosopher and all.
Lol. Maybe Arian "Bueller" Foster.

A scene from the movie: Team meeting, actor Ben Stein, "Foster..........Foster..........Foster....... "
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Old 10-07-2010   #19
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

The best nicknames are the ones that just happen. Relax and let the name come to us when it is time a really good one will appear.
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Old 10-07-2010   #20
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Default Re: Time to get serious: nicknames

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Originally Posted by Showtime100 View Post
Lol. Maybe Arian "Bueller" Foster.

A scene from the movie: Team meeting, actor Ben Stein, "Foster..........Foster..........Foster....... "
Hahaha.. That's a good one.
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