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Old 06-26-2009   #1
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Default Just for fun Texans select

A look back at the 2009 draft with wishful thinking or whatever..
A sense of humor is required.

Houston Texans select in the first round running back Rashad Jennings. GM Smith announces "He might go a bit later but we like him so much we think he is worth a slight reach".
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Old 06-26-2009   #2
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


How's that for a sense of humor?
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Old 06-26-2009   #3
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

Jennings' fall in the draft was quite dumbfounding.....Was there any other player in this draft who was projected in the 2nd round and went in the 7th!?
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Old 06-26-2009   #4
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

In the 2nd round Smith selects WR Brian Robiskie and said "We are not too sure how Andre Johnson is going to do this coming season and we have to have someone for our QB to throw to." Smith did not seem to be embarassed when he could not remember Matt Schaub's name.
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Old 06-26-2009   #5
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

In the 3rd round Smith selects Antoine Caldwell "I don't think the kid can play center but if WInston keeps running his mouth about the owners Mr McNair told me we may have a new starting right guard."
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Old 06-26-2009   #6
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

Smith announced he really wanted to sign Clay Matthews 5 or 6 or whatever but Bruce talked him out of it. Bruce reportedly said "no reason to think the kid will last more than a year or two. Besides I am still mad at his daddy who used to give me wedgies when we were kids." Texans reluctantly draft another linebacker.
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Old 06-26-2009   #7
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

In the second rd Glenn Coffee ( if we reached on Duane Brown last year it makes sense to reach on a rb when we needed one)
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Old 06-26-2009   #8
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

1st round Texans select C Alex Mack......though he won't start because Chris Myers has a stranglehold on the position.
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Old 06-27-2009   #9
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

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Originally Posted by Goldensilence View Post
1st round Texans select C Alex Mack......though he won't start because Chris Myers has some dirt on Kubiak.
Fixed.
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Old 06-27-2009   #10
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

...with the 15th pick, in the 2009 NFL draft, the Texans pick...
Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee

...because we ALWAYS use our 1st round pick on a DL
just like Detroit always picks some flavor of receiver (this year they went TE)
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Old 06-27-2009   #11
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

...with the 46th pick in the 2009 NFL draft, the Houston Texans select...
LeSean McCoy, RB, Pittsburgh.

this just in, the Texans have just announced they are trading McCoy for Vince Young straight up

...in what is possibly a related story, shortly after the trade announcement, a three-alarm fire broke out at Reliant Stadium during the draft day party. While no video footage is available, it has been reported that legions of fans armed with pitchforks and torches stormed the offices of Rick Smith, Gary Kubiak, and Bob McNair and may have been responsible for the massive blaze.
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Old 07-02-2009   #12
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

Quote:
Originally Posted by ObsiWan View Post
...with the 46th pick in the 2009 NFL draft, the Houston Texans select...
LeSean McCoy, RB, Pittsburgh.

this just in, the Texans have just announced they are trading McCoy for Vince Young straight up

...in what is possibly a related story, shortly after the trade announcement, a three-alarm fire broke out at Reliant Stadium during the draft day party. While no video footage is available, it has been reported that legions of fans armed with pitchforks and torches stormed the offices of Rick Smith, Gary Kubiak, and Bob McNair and may have been responsible for the massive blaze.
Ina follow up to this story of fire, Gallery Furniture owner Jim McInvale said he thinks McNair may haver set the fire himself to collect insurance.
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Old 07-03-2009   #13
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

I'm out of town... so I'm actually asking a serious question. Did Matress Mac burn down gallery furniture? No way right?

Mike
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Old 07-03-2009   #14
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

Jeremy Maclin, WR Missouri - would make it difficult for teams to double AJ
Max Unger, C/OG Oregon - top two-way combo lineman in draft
Rashad Johnson, DB Alabama - flashy, productive FS
Andre Brown, RB NC State - explosive downhill power back made for NFL
Lawrence Sidbury, DE Richmond - potential to be elite pass rusher
Marcus Freeman, LB Ohio State - athletic, can play strong or weak side
John Phillips, TE Virginia - not as gifted as Hill but solid blocker who can catch
Moise Fokou, LB Maryland - insurance, chose to address LB over DB

The Texans draft was a good one. They priortized defense & that was the smart thing to do, alot depends on Connor Barwin ability to develop into effective pass rusher thats the risk they're taking, otherwise Caldwell is like a poor mans Unger, Rashad would be ready to step in & play with this secondary but I like the kids the Texans drafted to develop, could turn out real sweet. Love the Hill pick. Cushing looks like an elite talent. only thing really missing is the complimentry RB to Steve. Oh yeah watch Maclin tear it up with Donovan McNabb
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Old 07-03-2009   #15
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texanmike View Post
I'm out of town... so I'm actually asking a serious question. Did Matress Mac burn down gallery furniture? No way right?

Mike
there was no reason I can think of that he'd torch his own place.
he'd just opened a store on the west side (Galleria area??) so I would think he'd want the income from the original spot coming in until the west side store got going and was pulling its own weight...

but that's just my guess
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Old 07-03-2009   #16
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

In a stunning move, the Texans selected WR Juaquin Iglesias with the #15 pick. When asked for a comment, both Kubiak & Smith, who appeared to be visibly upset, promptly said "No comment!" & slammed the door in my face.

Now, being the ace reporter that I am, I felt these actions to be most curious & immediately started digging for more information on this breaking story.

I attempted to talk to anyone connected to the Texans I could find, but no one was talking. It was as if everyone was afraid to say anything. Just as I was leaving Reliant Stadium & about to give up on the story, I heard some uncontrollable laughter coming from the parking lot. So, having nothing better to do, I walked on over & asked what was so funny.

Well, as it turns out, the guy telling the story had just been fired because he wouldn't stop laughing at Bob McNair. When I asked him why, he told me the real reason behind the Texans drafting of Juaquin Iglesias.

"It seems that McNair's wife is a huge Julio Iglesias fan & Bob wanted to do something very special for her birthday. So, when the Texan's pick came up, he exercised his "Jerry Jones Rights" as an owner to tell the GM whom he wanted to select. During the mean time, he had already dispatched his private jet to go pick up Juaquin & his father & bring them to Reliant just in time to celebrate Juaquin's selection. He'd also made arrangements for his wife to arrive shortly before their arrival."

He went on to say, "Now, just imagine the look on Bob's face when Juaquin & his father walked into the draft room. It turns out that Juaquin's father is not the romantic singer Julio Iglesias, but a barber from Killeen, Texas. This was an obvious case of mistaken identity & further proof why owners should stay out of the draft room & let those they pay to do the job, do their job."

The man in the parking lot then described the look on Bob's face, "He turned ghost white at first & he just stood there with his jaw dropped. As the color came back to his face, it slowly turned a crimson red & he immediately turned to me & said "You're fired". I guess I should've waited until he left to start laughing. Bob then stormed out of the room, but before he could get out, Juaquin's father realizing the mistake that was made, offered to give McNair free haircuts for as long as his son was on the team."

I'll keep you informed as to whether or not Bob accepts Mr. Iglesia's offer for free haircuts

As a followup to this story, Jerry Jones called the Texans & left a simple message for Bob, "I feel your pain. Been there, done that."
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Old 07-03-2009   #17
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

Quote:
Originally Posted by ObsiWan View Post
there was no reason I can think of that he'd torch his own place.
he'd just opened a store on the west side (Galleria area??) so I would think he'd want the income from the original spot coming in until the west side store got going and was pulling its own weight...

but that's just my guess
but was there a fire?
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Old 07-03-2009   #18
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

Quote:
Originally Posted by Texanmike View Post
but was there a fire?
Yes. He lost the entire warehouse.



Quote:
Gallery Furniture Fire Ruled Arson
4-Alarm Fire Destroyed Furniture Store's Warehouse


POSTED: Thursday, May 28, 2009
UPDATED: 4:52 pm CDT May 28, 2009



HOUSTON -- A four-alarm fire that destroyed Gallery Furniture's north Houston warehouse and caused $20 million in damage has been ruled arson, investigators told KPRC Local 2 Thursday.
Link: Gallery Furniture Fire Ruled Arson



A couple of threads here on TT:

Gallery Furniture fire: Arson

and

Gallery Furniture is on Fire!
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Old 07-06-2009   #19
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

In a surprise off season move the Texans traded Owen Daniels, Demeco Ryans and the rights to Dunta Robinson for Vikings QB Sage Rosenfels and a 2nd round pick. Vikings no longer need Rosenfels as they will start Brett Favre. In a related incident, Eric Winston was laughing so hard he fell down and ruptured his knee. Gary Kubiac was heard to scream "Dang!" Some thought he actually said "Dayne" but that can not be confirmed.

In an on the moment interview with NFL guru Richard Justice, Sage Rosenfels was asked for his comments. Notably he said,"Just slide dammit!" and walked off camera.
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Old 07-07-2009   #20
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Default Re: Just for fun Texans select

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Originally Posted by badboy View Post
In a surprise off season move the Texans traded Owen Daniels, Demeco Ryans and the rights to Dunta Robinson for Vikings QB Sage Rosenfels and a 2nd round pick. Vikings no longer need Rosenfels as they will start Brett Favre. In a related incident, Eric Winston was laughing so hard he fell down and ruptured his knee. Gary Kubiac was heard to scream "Dang!" Some thought he actually said "Dayne" but that can not be confirmed.

In an on the moment interview with NFL guru Richard Justice, Sage Rosenfels was asked for his comments. Notably he said,"Just slide dammit!" and walked off camera.
The Dayne tidbit was awesome.
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