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Old 01-27-2005   #1
nflnutswife
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There is a fun article on women that want to "Talk the Talk" on SuperBowl Sunday! It's on my opening MSN page FOX NEWS! I'm too stupid to paste it!
can someone else do it?
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Old 01-27-2005   #2
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How to fake it on Super Bowl Sunday

Becky Jensen / www.ChicksOnFootball.com

We have a foolproof plan for you football fledglings on Super Bowl Sunday. That's right ... fake it.

We know this may sound scary. You may be wondering, "Will they all know I'm faking my football knowledge?" But, there is no need to panic. Even the most crazed football fanatics will never be the wiser if you follow our advice closely.
The Chicks' Super Bowl Guide

As much as we would love to believe that everyone shares our passion and hunger for football knowledge, we realize that some folks simply want enough ammunition to survive the big game without total humiliation. So here are a few tips on how to look the part and talk the talk as you head to your Super Bowl bash.

The winning look

If you do not want to look like a football-watching rookie, you must first focus your attention on your attire. Now read carefully, ladies, because a fashion faux pas as minor as a crystal brooch can mess up your entire football ensemble. Real football fans do not show up to a game in Jimmy Choo heels or cashmere ponchos. Nor do they sport leather pants or micro-mini skirts.

The dress code is strictly casual but that does not mean sloppy. There is nothing wrong with showing off a little ... but please be subtle. In other words, do not look to Nicollette Sheridan or Paris Hilton to be your role models on this endeavor.

A suitable outfit could be jeans, a fitted T-shirt, fashionable sneakers and an NFL hat. But beware of the "cap trap." If you pick your NFL hat based on which team best matches your outfit, you may find yourself sporting a very attractive, yet unpopular Cardinals cap (a dead giveaway that you are a football faker since no one is a Cardinals fan these days!).

Picking your favorite Super Bowl contender is always a safe bet, but there is nothing wrong with being a "homer" and suiting up with your local team's cap. But just keep in mind that no Eagles fan wants to see a Cowboys cap at their party. You may get obscenities (or even worse, food) thrown at you. And we can guarantee that anyone you're trying to impress will pretend they don't even know you!


What to bring

One must never arrive at a football gathering empty handed. But what is a girl to bring? The answer is munchies. Save the cake and candy for your "girlie" parties (Tupperware, Mary Kay, etc.). Football games call for snacks of the Doritos and pretzel variety. There is no need to worry about the main course. The pizza can be delivered at halftime.

You also need to be careful not to bring the wrong beverage. It is not the time to share your prized Pinot Noir from last weekend's getaway to the vineyards. Beer is always the safest bet. And you won't be labeled a loser if you bring soda as well. After all, plenty of people "take it easy" on Sunday. Now here is a clincher if you really want to be the hero, call before you leave to see who wants a Starbucks coffee (or Dunkin' Donuts for our pals back in Boston!). It is not always easy to stay perky for eight hours of pregame hype and a drawn-out game, no matter how captivating the sport may be.


How to talk the talk

Now that we have covered the easy task of getting dressed and picking up a snack, it is time to bite into the tough stuff. You can only fool them for so long by looking the part eventually you will need to open your mouth. This part can get tricky because the appropriate comment is usually dictated by what is happening in the game. But do not fret some situations tend to come up frequently and we will arm you with the necessary football lingo to glide through the game.

Scenario No. 1: Quarterback (the man who starts most plays with his hands under the fat guy's butt) throws a wobbly pass and a player on the other team catches the ball.

You say ... What a duck! or ... He's no Peyton Manning!

Scenario No. 2: Fast guy runs all the way from one end of the field to the other resulting in a touchdown.

You say ... That guy's got wheels. or ... I've seen better coverage in Pop Warner games!

Scenario No. 3: Small non-athletic looking guy misses field-goal kick.

You say ... Choker! or ... Go back to soccer!

Scenario No. 4: Man with the ball drops it and a player for the other team picks it up.

You say ... Protect the ball, dude! or ... Butterfingers!

Scenario No. 5: The game is delayed while the pin-striped officials gather to debate a call.

You say ... Wrap it up, zebras! or ... Just let the boys play!

Scenario No. 6: Quarterback throws a hard pass to his receiver who catches the ball in stride.

You say ... What a gun! or ... That was a bullet!

Scenario No. 7: Big defensive player falls while trying to tackle a guy running with the ball.

You say ... He got faked out of his cleats! or ... Wow, that guy is slippery!

Scenario No. 8: The Patriots jump on top of the Eagles by 20 points or more.

You say ... The AFC sure kicked the NFC's butt this year! or ... This is a dynasty in New England!

We hope these bits of football jargon will help you ace the role of a football faker. But if a situation arises for which you have no remark, there is no need to panic. Football viewers who talk throughout the entire game are considered annoying. Therefore, pick your moments wisely and when the perfect opportunity arises, unleash one of your new football quips. I promise the crowd will be impressed!
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Old 01-27-2005   #3
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I DID IT! I DID IT! I'm not stupid, . . .
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Old 01-27-2005   #4
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Thats some good stuff because it is true alot of women don't know anything about football...
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Old 01-27-2005   #5
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I thought so, the girls on this board are pretty sauv'e to rules and reg, of the game. I personally need some help reading developing plays, I can't seem to catch on! But I can scream at the appropriate times, good or bad! LOL!

But I remain the cheif cook and tailgate bottle washer!
Go Texans
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Old 01-27-2005   #6
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As long as you don't use any of those stupid one liners yourself, I think you are a couch-football genius. What a bunch of ducks. Who was the who came up with that one. Textbook bump and run. In their shirt, in their face, incomplete baby!
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Old 01-27-2005   #7
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Wow, I was wondering how long it would take this off season for someone to start a thread about how dumb women are when it comes to football. Just didn't think it would come from another woman!

Men know more about the GAME of football simply because they play the game from about the age of 6!!

Nutswife, you are NOT STUPID!! Just love the game for whatever you get out of it that makes YOU happy! Leave it up to the MEN to make fools of themselves trying to prove they know more than the next guy, or poster. Trust me, they will keep you very entertained!
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Old 01-27-2005   #8
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Yeah, Grandma! I'll bet im your age! look around for my plate I'll look for yours, mine says (OBORN)! I do love the game! But this team is special!

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Old 01-27-2005   #9
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Originally Posted by nflnutswife
Yeah, Grandma! I'll bet im your age! look around for my plate I'll look for yours, mine says (OBORN)! I do love the game! But this team is special!

I'll keep my eyes open for ya nutswife! Yep, this team is SPECIAL! I don't have to know all the details of the game, etc, to understand my passion for the game. Those GUYS can knock themselves out figuring out stats, caps, the draft, gripe all they want too about coaches, players, whatever!! I'll continue to cook, dressup, wear my tattoos, deck my car out, spend my hard earned money on TEXAN paraFANalia (sp), etc, and ya know what?? I'm gonna enjoy that game just as much as any MAN! Anyway, I don't need to knock myself out looking up all the details, I just come here and VIOLA, the guys have done all the work for me!!
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Old 01-28-2005   #10
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SHETX

I've learned a lot in the past several years, I believe my husband appreciates when I ask questions, but he appreciates the superbowl snacks more! 20 years of marriage what can I say he's spoiled!

I want to get a tatoo on my ankle but im scared to. Not the pain, im tough, Im just afraid I'll regret it in 20 years! Where and what is yours?

Pam
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Old 01-28-2005   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nflnutswife
SHETX

I've learned a lot in the past several years, I believe my husband appreciates when I ask questions, but he appreciates the superbowl snacks more! 20 years of marriage what can I say he's spoiled!

I want to get a tatoo on my ankle but im scared to. Not the pain, im tough, Im just afraid I'll regret it in 20 years! Where and what is yours?

Pam

Tattoos are never a good idea....
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Old 01-28-2005   #12
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Here's a website of Texan goodies ... some fun stuff, temporary tattoos too.

http://www.footballfanatics.com/HTML...xans49671.html
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Old 01-29-2005   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nflnutswife
SHETX

I've learned a lot in the past several years, I believe my husband appreciates when I ask questions, but he appreciates the superbowl snacks more! 20 years of marriage what can I say he's spoiled!

I want to get a tatoo on my ankle but im scared to. Not the pain, im tough, Im just afraid I'll regret it in 20 years! Where and what is yours?

Pam
I have a Texan logo on my right calf, and I LOVE it! I have never regretted having it done, even after having a major reaction to the red dye and having to receive IV antibiotics. My leg swelled up like a balloon and it took 6 mts (no kidding) for it to heal. But, I have had it for two years now and it has a lot of character, a little scarred up and rough around the edges, just like our TEXANS!! Would I do it again?? ABSOLUTELY!! I must be a LOT older than you Pam, cause in 20 yrs I won't even remember I have it! My BC buddies will be pushing me around in a wheelchair, if I haven't already gone on to TEXAN heaven!
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