The Texans-Broncos Connection: An Inter-Office Memo

[Wolf]

http://blogs.houstonpress.com/ballz/...connection.php

By John Royal in Foot

From: Bob McNair, Owner
To: Gary Kubiak
Re: Defensive Coach Hirings
Date: January 14, 2009

Gary:

As you know, I've been most supportive of your work as head coach of the Houston Texans, though it might be nice if you would coach the team to a winning record. But I've tried to stay out of the football end of the operation, letting you handle all of those matters.

When you told me that David Carr would lead us to the Super Bowl, I went along with you. When you told me that Matt Schaub would be our savior, I went along with you. When you wanted to get Ahman Green, I asked how much, then gave you all that you wanted. When you pleaded for Jacques Reeves, I was doubtful, but since you were the head coach, I went along with your desires.

I always go along with your desires. Like Richard Smith as your defensive coordinator. I thought that it might be a nice idea to have someone with a little coordinating experience for the job, but I yielded to your desires. And when you said that Kyle Shanahan must be the offensive coordinator, I once again yielded to your desires, only to find out that you instead spent 15 games this season calling the plays and acting as the coordinator instead.

[GP]

From: Gary Kubiak
To: Bob McNair, Owner
RE: Defensive Coach Hirings
Date: January 15, 2009

Mr. McNair:

Can't write too long of a response to your memo. I am headed to a meeting with Steve Slaton, at his Rookie of the Month award photo shoot being held downtown. That's Steve Slaton, the guy I chose in the 3rd round while also picking up a left tackle in the first round by trading down.

Things are looking up. We had two multiple winning streaks, both sets were the first in Texans history. We had a rough start playing four teams who were playoff teams last season, as well as that whole Hurricane Ike thing that wreaked havock with our player's living conditions, their mindset, and such. But we didn't give up, Mr. McNair. I am proud of our guys for hanging tough and not giving into the ways of such teams as the Lions, the Raiders, the Bengals, the Rams, the Seahawks, the 49ers, the Jaguars, and a whole host of other teams that just looked lost and pitiful all year long.

We'll have our best draft yet. Got a new kid coming to help coach the secondary, he takes after his dad and he's a go-getter for sure. Got stuck in bad timing situation in K.C. but it's nothing that the nations' finest facility, owner, and fans can't help remedy.

Well, gotta' run Mr. McNair.

Sincerely,

Gary Kubiak, Houston Broncos

[m5kwatts]

From: Gary Kubiak
To: Texans Fans
Re: your ignorance
Date: January 14, 2009

Fans:

When I accepted Mr. McNair's offer to coach this team I was adopting a dog with fleas. Yes, I brought it upon myself. And yes I may have given David Carr an endorsement in the interview, because it would have been highly unlikely that I would have been offered the job if I had said otherwise. The idea was perhaps a new voice and competent coaching in Carr's ear could turn his career around. After a mere season I was able to come to the conclusion that David Carr would never be a quality quarterback in this league so we cut bait. To be honest, 6-10 in the 2006 season was a miracle. The team was pretty awful and most of its best players were rookies. I beat the Colts for the first time in franchise history with RON FREAKING DAYNE as my starting tailback. The 2007 season ending in .500 fashion was even more of a miracle. Wasn't every starter on this team on the IR by season's end? Which brings me to our 2008 season. For the third straight year the offense improved by leaps and bounds. Just think, this offense just 3 seasons ago couldn't make plays greater than 10 yards by air or ground, now is tied for the league lead in plays of 20+ yards or more. I have installed a high-quality offense for your football team, which is what I was brought here to do. I don't call defensive plays. I couldn't get Frank Bush to DC when I first got here so I settled for Richard Smith. My bad. Oh and all those turnovers on offense, if I had teleconesis I would ensure that our players protected the ball but I do not have the powers like the way you think saviors like Bill Cowher or Marty Schottenheimer have. Quit being a bunch of whiney babies and appreciate what has been built in just 3 seasons from scraps. I'm a great offensive mind and I'm becoming a better NFL coach.

Sincerely, the only reason this franchise is respectable at the moment.

[Second Honeymoon]

From: The Fans
To: Gary Kubiak

Re: Winning

Gary, just please shut the hell up and win already.

Signed,

Fans that are sick of the excuses

[b0ng]

Originally Posted by Second Honeymoon

From: The Fans
To: Gary Kubiak

Re: Winning

Gary, just please shut the hell up and win already.

Signed,

Fans that are sick of the excuses

To: Second Honeymoon
From: Gary Kubiak

You First.

Sincerely,
The Coach that is keeping this team from being a laughingstock.

[Thorn]

TO: Mods and Admins
FROM: The Board Owner

It appears the offseason is upon us once again. Your usual supply of Valium and 20 cases of Jack Daniels is being FedEx'd to you right away. Good luck.

[infantrycak]

Originally Posted by Thorn

TO: Mods and Admins
FROM: The Board Owner

It appears the offseason is upon us once again. Your usual supply of Valium and 20 cases of Jack Daniels is being FedEx'd to you right away. Good luck.

Just send the Jack--wouldn't want to mix.

[TimeKiller]

To: Board Owner
From: Mods and Admins

Re: Delivery Address

Make that out to Timekiller at....

[TexansFanatic]

Originally Posted by GP

From: Gary Kubiak
To: Bob McNair, Owner
RE: Defensive Coach Hirings
Date: January 15, 2009

Mr. McNair:

Can't write too long of a response to your memo. I am headed to a meeting with Steve Slaton, at his Rookie of the Month award photo shoot being held downtown. That's Steve Slaton, the guy I chose in the 3rd round while also picking up a left tackle in the first round by trading down.

Things are looking up. We had two multiple winning streaks, both sets were the first in Texans history. We had a rough start playing four teams who were playoff teams last season, as well as that whole Hurricane Ike thing that wreaked havock with our player's living conditions, their mindset, and such. But we didn't give up, Mr. McNair. I am proud of our guys for hanging tough and not giving into the ways of such teams as the Lions, the Raiders, the Bengals, the Rams, the Seahawks, the 49ers, the Jaguars, and a whole host of other teams that just looked lost and pitiful all year long.

We'll have our best draft yet. Got a new kid coming to help coach the secondary, he takes after his dad and he's a go-getter for sure. Got stuck in bad timing situation in K.C. but it's nothing that the nations' finest facility, owner, and fans can't help remedy.

Well, gotta' run Mr. McNair.

Sincerely,

Gary Kubiak, Houston Broncos

Outstanding.

[Specnatz]

Originally Posted by Second Honeymoon

From: The Fans
To: Gary Kubiak

Re: Winning

Gary, just please shut the hell up and win already.

Signed,

Fans that are sick of the excuses

To: Second Honeymoon

From: Gary Kubiak

Subject: Temper Tantrums

I know it is hard for you not to throw tantrums all the time and never have anything positive to say. Like when you called me stupid and ignorant cause I did not draft that mommas boy, vince. How about during my second season here and after the first 4 games you wanted me fired and Bill Cowher hired. It seems Bill was adament about wanting to sit out two years. Or when you went ballistic after I selected Brown as my first round selection and you wanted a runningback in the first round. I am so sorry that I chose a RB who led all rookies with 1282 yard rushing (6th overall in the league) and also had 377 yards rec. Maybe I do know a hell of a lot more about what I am doing than you do.

Thanks but I think I got it covered. I look forward to your tirade this April after my first round selection in the NFL Draft.

Here is to a winning season in 2009.

Sincerely,

Gary Kubiak

[Shaft75]

To: Shaft75

From: Reliant Stadium's Beer Vendor

Subject: Thank You

We just wanted to thank you for all of the beer that you bought from us last year. Although it didn't equal your total for the 2005 season, our records show that you have spent around $7.25 million worth of beer in 2008. We know that this only equates to a couple of six-packs, and you are greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Reliant Stadium

[Brando]

Originally Posted by b0ng

To: Second Honeymoon
From: Gary Kubiak

You First.

Sincerely,
The Coach that is keeping this team from being a laughingstock.

Originally Posted by Thorn

TO: Mods and Admins
FROM: The Board Owner

It appears the offseason is upon us once again. Your usual supply of Valium and 20 cases of Jack Daniels is being FedEx'd to you right away. Good luck.

Brilliant!

[Pantherstang84]

Originally Posted by Brando

Brilliant!

Indeed! I'm repping both.

[Pantherstang84]

To: TexansTalk.com Message Board Contributors

From: Pantherstang84

Subject: This Thread


Keep em comin folks. This is the best thread eva!

Pantherstang84

[GP]

TO: Richard Justice
FROM: Gary Kubiak & Rick Smith
RE: You, you butt dart!
DATE: Each freaking day

Dick,

Stop being one.

Ever so sincerely,

Smithiak

[cuppacoffee]

Originally Posted by Shaft75

To: Shaft75

From: Reliant Stadium's Beer Vendor

Subject: Thank You

We just wanted to thank you for all of the beer that you bought from us last year. Although it didn't equal your total for the 2005 season, our records show that you have spent around $7.25 million worth of beer in 2008. We know that this only equates to a couple of six-packs, and you are greatly appreciated.

Sincerely,

Reliant Stadium

....

My sides hurt.

[Lucky]

From: Bob Knight
To: Texans fans who dare to complain
Re: Seven years of mediocre football

Why don't you just lay back and enjoy it?

Sincerely,
Dick Justice's favorite coach

[axman40]

Originally Posted by Lucky

From: Bob Knight
To: Texans fans who dare to complain
Re: Seven years of mediocre football

Why don't you just lay back and enjoy it?

Sincerely,
Dick Justice's favorite coach

You sir will never be Governor of the Great State of Texas!

[nero THE zero]

Originally Posted by Specnatz

To: Second Honeymoon

From: Gary Kubiak

Subject: Temper Tantrums

I know it is hard for you not to throw tantrums all the time and never have anything positive to say. Like when you called me stupid and ignorant cause I did not draft that mommas boy, vince. How about during my second season here and after the first 4 games you wanted me fired and Bill Cowher hired. It seems Bill was adament about wanting to sit out two years. Or when you went ballistic after I selected Brown as my first round selection and you wanted a runningback in the first round. I am so sorry that I chose a RB who led all rookies with 1282 yard rushing (6th overall in the league) and also had 377 yards rec. Maybe I do know a hell of a lot more about what I am doing than you do.

Thanks but I think I got it covered. I look forward to your tirade this April after my first round selection in the NFL Draft.

Here is to a winning season in 2009.

Sincerely,

Gary Kubiak

[Thorn]

Originally Posted by GP

TO: Richard Justice
FROM: Gary Kubiak & Rick Smith
RE: You, you butt dart!
DATE: Each freaking day

Dick,

Stop being one.

Ever so sincerely,

Smithiak

butt dart??!! hahahaha Ok, that's a new one for me. Thanks for using it here, 'cause now I got something new to call my friends at work. LOLOLOL