WTF Happened? - Week 11

[brakos82]

Stole this from another board. Some pretty good one-liners.




Buccaneers31- 7 Falcons

Snakes Take: So much for the Byron Leftwich experiment...that fat toad was benched in favor of Joey Harrington after throwing 2 picks. Not like Harrington lit the world on fire when he got in. Atlanta is going to take a decade to recover from the Michael Vick fiasco...WOOF WOOF. Jeff Garcia, Ernest Graham and Joey Galloway all had solid days as Tampa just rolled over Atlanta. I didn't have a single piece of this fantasy action as I had Graham on my bench...I'm okay with not having to worry about either of these teams producing for me. Jerious Norwood Super Sleeper Update: 2 carries for 5 yards...cripes.

Cardinals35- 27 Bengals

Snakes Take: You give up 35 points to the Cardinals and you really have to think about firing your whole defense. It's not even really a defense, it's more like an offense intermission. I honestly think a short bus full of window lickers with hockey helmets on could hang 28 on the Bengals D. Carson Palmer threw 4 damn INT's and the Bengals continue to have zot for a running game. Chris "I didn't know she was 12" Henry continues to put up great numbers after his suspension...8 grabs for 81 yards and another td. He was waiver wire gold for those that jumped quick. Kurt Warner had his way with the Bungholes hitting L-Fitz and Boldin at will. Antrel Rolle had 3 INT's and took 2 of them to the house. Guess Carson threw 4 td's on the day...2 of them were to the other team. Bengals can start scouting college players.

Redskins23- 28 Cowboys

Snakes Take: This game was WAY closer than I thought it would be. How in the hell do you let TO burn you for FOUR TOUCHDOWNS! Put your entire secondary on him! You know where Romo's going with the damn ball. Let him hit Witten underneath all day, but you gotta be all over TO. TO made the Redskins his personal little ******es as he toasted them for 173 yards and 4 trips to paydirt. Washington could have won this game had they put a couple of guys in TO's zip code. Jason Campbell had a big week with 348 yards and 2 td's, but it just wasn't enough to keep up with the Romo-to-TO show. The Cowboys continue to roll through the NFC.

Panthers17- 31 Packers

Snakes Take: Ho-hum...another 3 td's for Brett Favre and more importantly ZERO interceptions. He's truly playing like he did back in his MVP Super Bowl days. Ryan Grant is now giving them an actual running game and with that the Packers look almost unstoppable on O. Their D is playing solid every week now as well. The Packers are actual Super Bowl contenders and each week they win the momentum and confidence grows. Drew Carter had a big game for the Panthers to try to keep them in this but that's only because Carolina had to air it up and try to play catch-up all game. The Panthers are just screwed with no QB. Vinny Testicleverde is older than dirt. Without Steve Smith, the Panthers already sorry O got a lot sorrier. GO PACK!

Chiefs10- 13 Colts

Snakes Take: This blows. I'm loaded with Colts and normally that's a good thing but not anymore. They have so many damn injuries that their offense is just horrid now. Peyton Manning throws for 163 yards and 0 td's in the home dome? Cripes almight. Just use hedge clippers to neuter me now. Marvin Harrison is out and it's killing this O. 13 whole points at home. Disgusting. Hell, I'm going to kick my neighbor's cat over this....

Raiders22- 29 Vikings

Snakes Take: Adrian Peterson, Chester Taylor it doesn't matter...the Vikings can straight run the rock. Chester Taylor rung up 164 yards and 3 td's on the day as if to say "Don't forget what I can do." The Vikings were able to keep Daunte Culpepper from pulling out the win despite his 344 yards and 1 td on the day. The Raiders never got the run game going and they let Chester Taylor run on them like a treadmill. The Vikings controlled the clock and the game on the legs of Taylor. Sydney Rice threw 2 passes and connected on both for 94 yards passing...anyone else think they should give him a shot at QB as bad as Tavaris Jackson gargles mushroom?

Steelers16- 19 NY Jets

Snakes Take: Oh come on! How in the hell do the sorry ass Jets beat the Steelers? Everyone was saying the Steelers were the last team with a chance to beat New England? If they get beat by the Jets they'll get bungholed by the Patriots. Big Ben and Willie Parker were held in check all day by the Jets and Thomas Jones hung a C-note on the vaunted Steelers D. Every week I play Thomas Jones he averages a white man's weiner per carry...the week I bench him he rolls a C-note on the Steelers. I give up. It's like I have this anti-success jinx in this crapass game. The Jets aren't going to make some power push down the stretch...this was a fluke. The Steelers went from possible power player to a team that can be defeated by scrubs. New England Patriots...big dropoff...the rest of the league...big dropoff....the Dolphins.

Dolphins7- 17 Eagles

Snakes Take: This whole Donovan McNabb sucking left ass-cheek thing is growing old. He flashed us the old McNafro last week with 4 td's...follows that up with yet another injury and nada for numbers. This is starting to look like a cruel joke to all my lineups in ffb. Brian Westbrook had 148 yards rushing and the Eagles squeezed out just enough offense to win over the winless/sorry ass/pathetic/should slap themselves Dolphins. The only bright spot for the Dolphins is that Ted Ginn finally is starting to show his talent...he had an 89 yards punt return for the Phins only score and 4 receptions for 52 yards. I know that doesn't look huge but when your QB only throws for 100, it's saying something. McNabb looks to be out for a bit with an ankle bad enough they X-ray'd it. YEAH ME!

Chargers17- 24 Jaguars

Snakes Take: From beating the Colts last week to losing to the Jaguars and looking like dookie the next. I know LT wasn't going to score 30 td's this year, but 20 would be nice. He's so far behind that pace it's silly. Number one pick overall used on a guy who is putting up average numbers at best. DOH! The formula is simple...put everyone in the box to take LT away and then watch that goofey-grinned bastard Phililp Rivers throw your secondary moon balls to intercept. I wanted to kick him in his Opie Taylor grill today. The Bolts had a chance for a final drive to tie this up but no...another INT by that flaming ass-dumpling Philip Rivers. Back to mediocrity you go Chargers. The Jags on the other hand are slowly rising up the AFC ladder.

Browns33- 30 Ravens

Snakes Take: WOW! 3 years ago this would have been a 12-7 game...now they're scoring in bunches. Cleveland can score with anyone these days. Jam Lewis is finding his wheels, Derek Anderson is winging it and Braylon Edwards is open all over the field. Not to be outdone, Willis McGahee had a big game too. Unlikely heroes like Devard Darling stepped up for a C-note and a score for the Ravens but it just wasn't enough. Phil Dawson eeked out a 51 yard FG that hit the crossbar and just went over the goal post to send this to OT. One drive and a 31 yard FG later...ballgame. The Brownies are for real! Time to deal Brady Quinn...Derek Anderson is no joke.

10- 23

Snakes Take: The Saints were just pretending for those two weeks they put up big points and won games. The real Saints have shown for 2 weeks now that they just plain suck fuzzy taint. Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson returned to light up the New Orleans secondary and the Texans won solidly in this one. Ron Ho-Ho Dayne rolled his cream-filled ass for 89 yards to help the running game...which crushed Reggie Bush and his 34 yards rushing. He's a glorified WR lining up in the backfield. The Saints have some serious reflecting to do...how do you fall so far, so fast?

Rams13- 9 49ers

Snakes Take: Oh look...the Pooper Bowl. These two teams would need 4 promotions just to get up to SUCK! I'm so glad I started Frank Gore...my teams would be in big trouble if they didn't get his 32 yards rushing. One touchdown between these 2 for an entire game...pitiful. I understand the Niners gargling fuzzy marbles...Trent Dilfer was their QB. The Rams however had Marc Bulger, Steven Jackson and Torry Holt all in the lineup. How do they only put up 13 points on the Niners? I'll never figure this damn game out.

NY Giants16- 10 Lions

Snakes Take: Well, that's it. We can end all the "10 wins" talk. The Lions can't even beat the Giants in a home-dome game? Ridiculous. 377 yards passing for Kitna and they only come away with 10 points...those 3 INT's were just that costly. The Lions don't seem to understand that without a running game, they won't win. They gave Kevin Jones 11 carries which he managed a panzy 25 yards with. Being a diehard Buckeye fan (GO BUCKEYES), it really pains my heart to see all your poor Wolverqueen fans take another shot to the pouch by watching your Lions lose too. Hell, what's next...someone gonna run over your dog on Monday?

Bear23- 30 Seahawks

Snakes Take: Hasselbeck, Mo Morris and DJ Hackett all went silly on the Bears D and the Hawks rolled up 30 points to win this one easily. We called DJ Hackett as a big sleeper this pre-season....looks like we were about 9 weeks too early. He's had 2 huge weeks in a row now and appears to be Hasselbeck's new go-to guy. SCOOP HIM OFF WAIVERS NOW! So much for Rex Grossman being the answer huh? He wasn't horrible but he didn't help them get a win either. This week Cedric Benson finally decided to run the ball like a RB instead of a peeter-puffing ballerina. 89 yards on just 11 carries with a touchdown. He's buried so far on my bench he can't breathe. LOSER! As weak as the NFC West is, the Seahawks can still win that one with ease. The Bears are straight screwed this year...they have more holes than a George Bush Iraq speech...gonna be a long off-season for DA Bears.

Patriots56- 10 Bills

Snakes Take: Real shocker here...this game was uglier than Drew Carey and Mimi hoola-hooping naked. Nobody will be the Patriots this season. Nobody. Brady and Moss are making it look too easy.

[Texan_Bill]

Nice..!!!

Ron 'Ho-Ho' Dayne!

[Specnatz]

Originally Posted by Texan_Bill

Nice..!!!

Ron 'Ho-Ho' Dayne!

and creamed filled Ass.


I spilled some of my drink laughing at that.

[brakos82]

Originally Posted by Texan_Bill

Nice..!!!

Ron 'Ho-Ho' Dayne!

You gotta admit... that's better than the Ron Dayne Joke Thread.

[Texan_Bill]

Originally Posted by brakos82

You gotta admit... that's better than the Ron Dayne Joke Thread.

*ahem* much better.

[Hardcore Texan]

*regrets participating the Ron Dayne joke thread*....they were tired old jokes anyway, kind of like a back in the day thread.

[TheDrifter]

Thats from PigskinAddiction.com.

They are a pretty solid free fantasy site....though I mostly just check every Monday for Snake's take.

[kastofsna]

ah football was much much much more enjoyable before fairy tale football. that is a fact.

also still going with my prediction that Tampa Bay wins the NFC.

[Dread-Head]

Originally Posted by kastofsna

ah football was much much much more enjoyable before fairy tale football. that is a fact.

also still going with my prediction that Tampa Bay wins the NFC.

I hope you'e not being facetious here. If you're serious I hope you're right. I want to see ANYONE but the Fallas Cowgirls win the NFC. I'm pulling fo Green Bay Personally.