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Old 02-07-2006   #1
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Default Our new staff is so inexperienced that....

Okay, how about a little levity. Bring your Texans clean jokes, puns, humerous stories, or anything that amuses you about our Texans. I will start. This is all in good fun. Nothing serious here folks. Please save that for other threads.

Our new staff is so inexperienced that instead of a ribbon cutting ceromony to introduce the new staff, they are having an umblical cord cutting ceromony.

Our new staff is so inexperienced that Mcnair has hired an OB/GYN Dr. on staff to spank them when they are introduced.

Our new WR coach was lured to the Texans by the promise of an Xbox and an Ipod. (Thanks Vinny!)

Okay, these are lame. So let's see what you got.
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Old 02-07-2006   #2
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Our staff is so inexperienced that they'll argue about decisions because they could do it in Madden NFL 2006.
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Old 02-07-2006   #3
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I don't have any jokes on the Texans new staff, but I have a few on the team as a whole. Here they go:

The Texan's organization is thinking of changing their name to the Houston Tampons because they are only good for one period and they have no second string.

When the Texans fired Capers, they were considering hiring Monica Lewinski for the head coaching poistion. She might blow a few but we know she won't choke on the big ones.

That's all I can remember right now. I don't know if they stay on this board or get erased because they might be unappropriate material. Anyways, enjoy.
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Old 02-07-2006   #4
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There once was a Quaterback named Carr, who thought he would really go far...

Until his line caved, and began to misbehave...

And now he is often seen in a bar.
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Old 02-07-2006   #5
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The Texan's organization is thinking of changing their name to the Houston Tampons because they are only good for one period and they have no second string.
That's the funniest thing I've read in a while.

We CAN laugh at ourselves.
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Old 02-07-2006   #6
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The Texan's organization is thinking of changing their name to the Houston Tampons
Hey, would that make our practice squad The Houston CoTexans.
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Old 02-07-2006   #7
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Originally Posted by Cjeremy635
The Texan's organization is thinking of changing their name to the Houston Tampons because they are only good for one period and they have no second string.

When the Texans fired Capers, they were considering hiring Monica Lewinski for the head coaching poistion. She might blow a few but we know she won't choke on the big ones.:

ROLF LMAO Man that was so funny my stomach hurts.That one of the few times I wanted to stop laughing.
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Old 02-07-2006   #8
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The staff is so inexperienced they read this message board for advise.
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Old 02-07-2006   #9
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2006 TEXANS SCHEDULE
September 14................Taft Junior High School
September 21...............Cub Scout Troop ..101
September 28................Houston Blind Academy
October 05.................Spanish American War Vets
October 12................ Crippled Children's Home
October 19............... Montgomery Mental Hospital
October 26................ Girl Scout Troop .. 353
November 02.................Texas Venereal Disease Clinic
November 09.................Sugarland Boys Choir
November 16.................Korean Amputees
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December 08..................Cypress Gay Boys Club
** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - When playing polio patients, the Texans must not disconnect knee braces.
2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Texans must not hide the football under their jerseys.
** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line for all you Texans fans that have never seen this) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Texans will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Texans will be allowed to substitute with band members at anytime.
4 - The Texans will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5 - The Texans will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.
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Old 02-07-2006   #10
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Hilarious.

Didn't the Houston blind academy pick off Carr 3 times the last time they played though?

The early line has a pickem on the game with Girl Scout Troop 353.
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Old 02-07-2006   #11
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Old 02-07-2006   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Porky
Hilarious.



The early line has a pickem on the game with Girl Scout Troop 353.
Whats the over/under?
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Old 02-07-2006   #13
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Talking I put this elsewhere...but I guess it its 'humor'....to some

The Roethlis-burger is a burger named after the popular Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. It costs $7 (the number Ben Roethlisberger wears) at Peppi's restaurants in Pittsburgh; cheese is 7 cents extra. The burger is topped with one and a half pounds of beef and sausage, as well as scrambled eggs, lettuce, tomato and American cheese on a Portuguese roll.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roethlis-burger

You dont want to see a carr-burger. Its an empty bun with an IOU for some meat later on when they can get better quality pickles and lettuce.

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Old 02-07-2006   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinny
The Roethlis-burger is a burger named after the popular Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. It costs $7 (the number Ben Roethlisberger wears) at Peppi's restaurants in Pittsburgh; cheese is 7 cents extra. The burger is topped with one and a half pounds of beef and sausage, as well as scrambled eggs, lettuce, tomato and American cheese on a Portuguese roll.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roethlis-burger

You dont want to see a carr-burger. Its an empty bun with an IOU for some meat later on when they can get better quality pickles and lettuce.



that was hilarious vinny. you missed the pro-bowlers roethlisberger has to work with on that o-line.
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Old 02-07-2006   #15
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Originally Posted by dirty steve
that was hilarious vinny. you missed the pro-bowlers roethlisberger has to work with on that o-line.
That's where the IOU comes in I guess...
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Old 02-07-2006   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TEXANRED
Whats the over/under?
2 boxes of Peanut Butter patties, 5 boxes of thin mints, and 4 boxes of caramel deluxe.
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Old 02-07-2006   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinny
The Roethlis-burger is a burger named after the popular Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. It costs $7 (the number Ben Roethlisberger wears) at Peppi's restaurants in Pittsburgh; cheese is 7 cents extra. The burger is topped with one and a half pounds of beef and sausage, as well as scrambled eggs, lettuce, tomato and American cheese on a Portuguese roll.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roethlis-burger

You dont want to see a carr-burger. Its an empty bun with an IOU for some meat later on when they can get better quality pickles and lettuce.

I am as much a DC fan as you will find, but I have to say; this and some of the others are good stuff, no matter who you like or don't like. Even I can get a good laugh out of some of these ...
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Old 02-07-2006   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vinny
The Roethlis-burger is a burger named after the popular Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. It costs $7 (the number Ben Roethlisberger wears) at Peppi's restaurants in Pittsburgh; cheese is 7 cents extra. The burger is topped with one and a half pounds of beef and sausage, as well as scrambled eggs, lettuce, tomato and American cheese on a Portuguese roll.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roethlis-burger

You dont want to see a carr-burger. Its an empty bun with an IOU for some meat later on when they can get better quality pickles and lettuce.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I heard for 86 extra cents it comes with a side of Gaffney Cola that spills out of its cup right before it crosses the counter.
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Old 02-07-2006   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Porky
2 boxes of Peanut Butter patties, 5 boxes of thin mints, and 4 boxes of caramel deluxe.
You had me at caramel deluxe.
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Old 02-07-2006   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TEXANRED
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I heard for 86 extra cents it comes with a side of Gaffney Cola that spills out of its cup right before it crosses the counter.
very nice. funny stuff
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