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Old 11-21-2005   #1
humbleone
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Default Texans Top "10" List

Top "10" funniest things heard from the Texans organization:

Number 10 ... "Sharper and Glenn are just to old and slow to make this team"
Number 9 ... "Our scouts are better than Mel Kiper's"
Number 8 ... "Yeah, pass on Jason Witten...let's take Bennie Joppru instead"
Number 7 ... "Coleman will make a great Free Safety"
Number 6 ... "Sure, why not a "2" for Hollings?"
Number 5... "Let's start Victor Riley at LT"
Number 4 ... "You can't get a corner as good as PBuc in the 2nd or 3rd round"
Number 3... "We are really not a 1-8 team"
Number 2... "We may not need to draft a LT in the '06 draft now"

And the number 1 funniest thing heard from the Texans organization....
"Coaching changes now might make things worse"
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Old 11-21-2005   #2
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Good one.
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Old 11-21-2005   #3
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Number 1 and 2 really scare me
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Old 11-21-2005   #4
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What about Casserly saying that '..an elite team couldn't have survived this schedule!'

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Old 11-21-2005   #5
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7 games left, nothing another coach could do. I really think it's the player personnel they have to work with.

Good list.
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Last edited by TexanAlmighty; 11-21-2005 at 11:51 AM.
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Old 11-21-2005   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by humbleone
Top "10" funniest things heard from the Texans organization:

Number 10 ... "Sharper and Glenn are just to old and slow to make this team"
Number 9 ... "Our scouts are better than Mel Kiper's"
Number 8 ... "Yeah, pass on Jason Witten...let's take Bennie Joppru instead"
Number 7 ... "Coleman will make a great Free Safety"
Number 6 ... "Sure, why not a "2" for Hollings?"
Number 5... "Let's start Victor Riley at LT"
Number 4 ... "You can't get a corner as good as PBuc in the 2nd or 3rd round"
Number 3... "We are really not a 1-8 team"
Number 2... "We may not need to draft a LT in the '06 draft now"

And the number 1 funniest thing heard from the Texans organization....
"Coaching changes now might make things worse"
Is number 2 an actual quote?
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Old 11-21-2005   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexanAlmighty
7 games left, nothing another coach could do. I really think it's the player personnel they have to work with.

Good list though.
Most of the players on this team have performed at a much higher level, earlier in their career. Did they suddenly lose their talent? Add to that the players that have left the Texans and are performing very well on other teams. Those players did nothing while they were here, yet they can perform elsewhere? Did they find talent? Maybe the lost talent from the other guys?

I'm not saying we have Pro Bowl players, but they are much more talented than the production would indicate.
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Old 11-21-2005   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by humbleone
Top "10" funniest things heard from the Texans organization:

Number 10 ... "Sharper and Glenn are just to old and slow to make this team"
Number 9 ... "Our scouts are better than Mel Kiper's"
Number 8 ... "Yeah, pass on Jason Witten...let's take Bennie Joppru instead"
Number 7 ... "Coleman will make a great Free Safety"
Number 6 ... "Sure, why not a "2" for Hollings?"
Number 5... "Let's start Victor Riley at LT"
Number 4 ... "You can't get a corner as good as PBuc in the 2nd or 3rd round"
Number 3... "We are really not a 1-8 team"
Number 2... "We may not need to draft a LT in the '06 draft now"

And the number 1 funniest thing heard from the Texans organization....
"Coaching changes now might make things worse"
Here are some more:

"Lets move Pitts to guard and start a unknown project player from BFE State as our LT."
"With those tatoos, Babin looks like he has the ability to dominate, lets trade our entire draft for him."
"offensive line problems??? what offensive line problems???"
"sure the colts had problems with fangio's complicated zone blitz, but our young expansion team sure won't"

Last edited by AlexVanderpool; 11-21-2005 at 10:58 AM.
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Old 11-21-2005   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexVanderpool
Here are some more:

"Lets move Pitts to guard and start a unknown project player from BFE State as our LT."
"With those tatoos, Babin looks like he has the ability to dominate, lets trade our entire draft for him."
"offensive line problems??? what offensive line problems???"
"sure the colts had problems with fangio's complicated zone blitz, but our young expansion team sure won't"

Good ones...thanks. If I don't find away to laugh about this season I am afraid my wife is going to remove all the guns and sharp objects from our house as a precaution.
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Old 11-21-2005   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eriadoc
Most of the players on this team have performed at a much higher level, earlier in their career. Did they suddenly lose their talent? Add to that the players that have left the Texans and are performing very well on other teams. Those players did nothing while they were here, yet they can perform elsewhere? Did they find talent? Maybe the lost talent from the other guys?

I'm not saying we have Pro Bowl players, but they are much more talented than the production would indicate.
I have changed my stance. Fire Capers NOW! I want Marciano as Interim Coach for the rest of the year!!!!!
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Old 11-21-2005   #11
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Roflmao
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Old 11-21-2005   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexanAlmighty
I have changed my stance. Fire Capers NOW! I want Marciano as Interim Coach for the rest of the year!!!!!

Like Tag Team said in 92...Whoop, there it is.
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Old 11-21-2005   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexanAlmighty
I have changed my stance. Fire Capers NOW! I want Marciano as Interim Coach for the rest of the year!!!!!
Exactly right...we would all be a lot better off if McNair would pull the trigger on Capers, Fangio, Pendry and Casserly now and let Marciano as interim HC finish the season reporting directly to him until we get the new GM.
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Old 11-21-2005   #14
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How about we all have to look in the mirror and take a long look at ourselves?
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Old 11-21-2005   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Tejano
How about we all have to look in the mirror and take a long look at ourselves?
Why?

I'm not the HC, OC, DC, or GM who screwed this thing up so why should I look in the mirror and evaluate myself. I am just a fan who wants changes made to my favorite team, which is the worst team in the NFL.
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Old 11-21-2005   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by humbleone
Top "10" funniest things heard from the Texans organization:

Number 10 ... "Sharper and Glenn are just to old and slow to make this team"
Number 9 ... "Our scouts are better than Mel Kiper's"
Number 8 ... "Yeah, pass on Jason Witten...let's take Bennie Joppru instead"
Number 7 ... "Coleman will make a great Free Safety"
Number 6 ... "Sure, why not a "2" for Hollings?"
Number 5... "Let's start Victor Riley at LT"
Number 4 ... "You can't get a corner as good as PBuc in the 2nd or 3rd round"
Number 3... "We are really not a 1-8 team"
Number 2... "We may not need to draft a LT in the '06 draft now"

And the number 1 funniest thing heard from the Texans organization....
"Coaching changes now might make things worse"
Careful saying that Tony Hollings was a number 2 draft selection! I once said that and one Mod told me I was wrong and didn't know what I was speaking about. When I proved my point he said...."enough about the subject and was told to move on with some other subject. Of course that "someone" may deny what I'm saying but I assure you I'm correct.

Last edited by FirstDownMaker; 11-21-2005 at 03:38 PM.
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Old 11-21-2005   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TexanAlmighty
I have changed my stance. Fire Capers NOW! I want Marciano as Interim Coach for the rest of the year!!!!!
Now that is a stroke of genius! Why can't McNair think of that?
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Old 11-21-2005   #18
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If they said #2 then we have a problem because i dont see us drafting any other position other than OL in the 1st round. I dont see any way. I mean we have Davis we dont need Bush. We have Carr we dont need Linehart. Thats the dumbest comment i have ever heard and i am offically sad that a Texan offical said that.
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Old 11-21-2005   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Tejano
How about we all have to look in the mirror and take a long look at ourselves?
Why?

I pay to see professional football. That is not professional football being played in Texans uniforms. Look beyond mere stats. The win-loss record is deceiving. Read that again. The win-loss record makes this team appear better than it is. Cleveland outplayed them. If it wasn't for the play of Mathis, they would have lost that game.

In other words, name me a game the Texans have lost they "should" have won. There isn't any. Two years ago they lost four games within the last two minutes of play. Last-minute defensive gaffes cost them games. This year there have been NO games where the Texans outplayed the other team.

My solution:

Start over. Concentrate on the lines, and forget the glamor boys for a year. O-line, D-line, and LB corps are priorities. The DBs are almost good enough, if they were only getting help up front. Opposing QBs are collecting social security checks in the pocket against the Texan's Vapor D. Obviously Buchanan is a weak spot though.

New coaching staff and GM. This is not an option if this team is to ever get out of the cellar. Too many mistakes in drafting, too little production out of what they have.

Fix the core. Go for "skill" positions next year.

Wells and Davis are serviceable backs. Reggie Bush does not cure this team.

Let David Carr go. He is a part of the problem. Maybe he wasn't at one time, but he is now.

Jabar "Butterfingers" Gaffney gets one more season to prove it's not his fault he can't catch bounce passes. I'd keep him mostly because I'd be concentrating on other positions.

Hey, what do I know? I'm just a dude paying to see professional football. I'm just tired of waiting for it to happen.
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Old 11-21-2005   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El Tejano
How about we all have to look in the mirror and take a long look at ourselves?
Just did, all I saw was a pissed off Houston fan. At least my Longhorns are going to the Rose Bowl!!!!!!!!
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