facebook posts by Texans

[Cjeremy635]

Originally Posted by HOU-TEX

Lol......gross.

[Wolf]

I guess the plus side is that you know it is at least a teammate and not some random person. aka you are at a grocery store and have to go bad and so you use their facilities and have no idea who warmed it up for you

[Texan_Bill]

Shaun Cody‏@ShaunCody95

There is nothing like sitting down on a warm toilet seat that your teammate just used and enjoying his wonderful scents #teambonding

At my office, I told a co-worker that "maybe you should work in some fruit, vegetables and anything less toxic than chronic fast food, because that was the most terrible experience (other than David Carr) EVER!!!"

Mix in a Colonoscopy!! Clean yourself out!!!

[HOU-TEX]

LOL, nice

Duane Brown‏@DuaneBrown76

So the clerk at the gas station just asked me what my favorite flavor of MD 20/20 was...so he'd know which to put on display. What the hell?

[dc_txtech]

Originally Posted by Wolf

I guess the plus side is that you know it is at least a teammate and not some random person. aka you are at a grocery store and have to go bad and so you use their facilities and have no idea who warmed it up for you

When you sit on a toilet seat and it's warm but you don't care, that's how you know someone is family.

[Cjeremy635]

Originally Posted by dc_txtech

When you sit on a toilet seat and it's warm but you don't care, that's how you know someone is family.

Unless it's your wife. I don't care how long you've been married, that $hit ain't cool. Stuff like that isn't in the brochure when they're selling you on the idea of "happily ever after." lol

[Wolf]

To kickoff my partnership with Kroger, I will be signing autographs for the first 200 people at Kroger at the 5150 Buffalo Speedway location in Houston TONIGHT from 6-7PM!


Fosters Facebook

[dc_txtech]

Originally Posted by Cjeremy635

Unless it's your wife. I don't care how long you've been married, that $hit ain't cool. Stuff like that isn't in the brochure when they're selling you on the idea of "happily ever after." lol

Women don't poop though. Right?

[barrett]

That worked for me for almost 8 years.

[ObsiWan]

Originally Posted by dc_txtech

Women don't poop though. Right?

While I think men invented the silent-but-deadly fart, married women have PERFECTED it. Nothing more mood-killing than raising the covers to get in bed next to your sweetie and have one of those bad boys smack you in the nose.

[HOU-TEX]

lol

Seth Payne‏@PayneNFL

I think my cat is self medicating with cat nip, which is sad because it reminds me that I own a cat.

[HOU-TEX]

Sorry if I'm buggin y'all with all these Tweets, but this dude's off the wall funny to me.

Seth Payne‏@PayneNFL

Chris Johnson tweeted "lol preseason" after a poor performance. I use a similar tactic with my wife: "lol foreplay"

[HOU-TEX]

Wow! lol

Seth Payne‏@PayneNFL

QB's that run a lot are like ultra thin condoms. Awesome when in there, but ultimately can't withstand the heavy pounding.

[Texan_Bill]

Originally Posted by HOU-TEX

Wow! lol

Seth Payne is a hilarious follow!! His wife @brandispayne is pretty funny too!

[hookinreds]

Originally Posted by hou-tex

wow! Lol

awesome!

[Wolf]

Better nickname for the Houston Texans' defense: Bulls on Parade or the Swatt Team...or both?

Houston texans Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/HoustonTexans?ref=ts

[HOU-TEX]

Seth Payne‏@PayneNFL

I'd classify Richie Incognito as cheap, not dirty. And I'd flag him for ruining a badass last name with "Richie."

So true

[Wolf]

from the Texans site

How do you LIKE Siri? (From Texans fan @AriaFire on Twitter)

[Showtime100]

Am I the only one who gives less than a sh~!t about their FB or Tweets?

I think I might be.

[The Pencil Neck]

Originally Posted by Showtime100

Am I the only one who gives less than a sh~!t about their FB or Tweets?

I think I might be.

I like it when there's "real" news in there -- like when we've signed someone or made a deal for someone or something like that.

Otherwise, uh, no.