Titans 3rd Annual Blue Crew Chili Cookoff Tailgate

[Tedc]

The Titans are coming in for our annual chili cookoff. The rules have somewhat changed due to requests from several members. This year you may bring prepared from home chili to compete in our competition.

Grandma won last year and will be bringing the trophy back for the winner to take home for prominent display in your humble abode, if you have what it takes.

I will need 5 judges so please PM me with requests.

Let's eat lots of chili so we may show the Titans what we stink of them!!

Also, this is our Christmas tailgate so make sure you bring a gift under $20.00 for the White Elephant exchange if you want to participate. Keep in mind that some children may participate so we want to make sure our gifts are appropriate.


So....WHACHABRINGIN??!!

[txchick1971]

I think we're in the yeller lot

[Texan_Bill]

[SheTexan]

I fully intend to take the trophy back home with me too!! Might just decide to leave it at home to save me some trouble!!

Gonna bring some spicy MEATBALLS also! If we don't eat um, we can just SMASH um!!

[Tedc]

Originally Posted by txchick1971

I think we're in the yeller lot

Just walk on over. We would love to meet ya!

[Brando]

Just make sure to slip Titans fans a little ex-lax in their Chili.....

[MannyFresh]

Originally Posted by Tedc

Just walk on over. We would love to meet ya!

We'd love to. I'm excited about this Sunday.

[Tedc]

Originally Posted by MannyFresh

We'd love to. I'm excited about this Sunday.

No excuses then. We start tailgating at 7 am and we start going in around 11. Be early and ask for me and I will introduce you to everyone.

[Tedc]

Here is a map of the tailgate for all the people who want to come by.

[txchick1971]

Originally Posted by Tedc

No excuses then. We start tailgating at 7 am and we start going in around 11. Be early and ask for me and I will introduce you to everyone.

that's an awful LONG walk....AND, it's my BIRTHDAY weekend.

[Tedc]

Originally Posted by txchick1971

that's an awful LONG walk....

We are worth it!

[Drew_Smoke]

Originally Posted by txchick1971

that's an awful LONG walk....AND, it's my BIRTHDAY weekend.

It ain't that far and it's Roc's b-day weekend too. All I want for my birhtday is a .500 record for my team.

[txchick1971]

i'm sure everyone has read this before but whenever someone says chili cookoff, i always go back to read it.....

INEXPERIENCED CHILI JUDGE

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Tester Named FRANK, who was visiting
Texas from the East Coast: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a
judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last
moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking
directions to the beer wagon, when the call came.

I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili
wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free
beer during the tasting. So I accepted."

Here are the scorecards from the event:

__________________________________________________ _______

CHILI # 1 MIKE'S MANIAC MOBSTER MONSTER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

FRANK: Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried
paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope
that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

__________________________________________________ _______

CHILI # 2 ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.

FRANK: Keep this out of the reach of children I'm not sure what I am
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to
give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they
saw the look on my face.
__________________________________________________ ________

CHILI # 3 FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I
have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now get me more
beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is
in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all the beer.
__________________________________________________ __________

CHILI # 4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.

FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it, is it possible to burnout taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was
standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb. ***** is starting to
look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an
aphrodisiac?

__________________________________________________ _____

CHILI # 5 LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very Impressive.

JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit
the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

FRANK: My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can
no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed
paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili
had given me brain damage, Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring
beer directly on it from a pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off?
It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming.
Screw those rednecks!
__________________________________________________ ______

CHILI # 6 VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice
and peppers.

JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
Superb.

FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat
through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips
anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
__________________________________________________ _

CHILI # 7 SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried
about Judge Number 3, He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is
cursing uncontrollably.

FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't
feel a damn thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like
it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid
unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like **** to match my
damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've
decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it. I'm not getting
any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch
hole in my stomach.
__________________________________________________ __

CHILI # 8 LESTER'S LAST OF THE RED-HOT LOVER'S CHILI

JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe for all,
not too bold but spicy enough to declare it's existence.

JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed
out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure
if he's going to make it. Poor Yank, wonder how he'd have reacted to a
really hot chili?

[MannyFresh]

Originally Posted by txchick1971

that's an awful LONG walk....AND, it's my BIRTHDAY weekend.

I'll fireman carry you there babe.

[MannyFresh]

Originally Posted by Tedc

We are worth it!

I'm sure it will be... Gotta do the Shotgun 30 first at the Yellow Lot cause I've never done that before and meet and greet and then we'll head over there to do some more meet and greet.

[SheTexan]

Not gonna be chili weather either. High 75 predicted. Can't we have just ONE FREAKING COLD WEATHER GAME!!!!!! The Jags game was chilly, but not cold. Damn, I detest Houston weather!!

[DocBar]

Originally Posted by SheTexan

Not gonna be chili weather either. High 75 predicted. Can't we have just ONE FREAKING COLD WEATHER GAME!!!!!! The Jags game was chilly, but not cold. Damn, I detest Houston weather!!

I detset Houston weather 11 months out of the year. All we have are summer and January. HAving been in very cold climates the last 2 years, I'm ok with this weekend. If you drink enough cold beer, it'll SEEM like chili weather!?!?

[Joe Texan]

Go sit in the snow all you want Houston is the bomb

[Texan_Bill]

Originally Posted by SheTexan

Not gonna be chili weather either. High 75 predicted. Can't we have just ONE FREAKING COLD WEATHER GAME!!!!!! The Jags game was chilly, but not cold. Damn, I detest Houston weather!!

It's cold today. Enjoy it. Me, I'm going to hibernate.


Winter sucks! Cold sucks! Snow sucks (unless it's on TV).

[Texan_Bill]

Originally Posted by Tedc

So....WHACHABRINGIN??!!

We brought chili last game (as did BullPenPhots and his 13lbs. from what I heard), so we're not sure yet.