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College Football & the 2014 NFL Draft The future stars of the NFL

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Old 01-26-2005   #1
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Default A Light-Hearted Mock Draft

The following Mock Draft is a light-hearted response to the countless serious Mock Drafts that are out there. I will add a few each day.

With the 1st pick in the draft, the San Fransicso 49ers select Mr. Green Jeans



No surpise here, the 49ers select Mr. Green Jeans as expected. Jeans is clearly the best QB in the draft this season and the 49ers sorely need a leader. Jeans will provide leadership and a cannon for an arm. His mobility in the pocket will keep opposing defenses on the ropes. Move over Vick, Green Jeans is on the scene.
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Old 01-26-2005   #2
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With the 2nd pick in the draft, The Miami Dolphins select Greg Brady



With Jeans off the board, the Dolphins pick the #2 rated QB on the boards. Brady, no relation to Tom Brady, possesses pin-point accuracy and phenomenal range. ie: Marcia's broken nose. He is sure to surpass all of Marino's records in Miami.
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Old 01-26-2005   #3
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Plus Greg Brady is really groovy in a far out way.
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Old 01-26-2005   #4
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With the #3 pick, the Cleveland Browns select

John Kerry, QB/WR




With the new regime coming in, the Browns were in need of a franchise QB and by selecting John Kerry (who did win 3 purple hearts) they feel this was the best player available at their selection as well as extremely versatile. The attempted "catch the ball with his eyes closed" made it clear he could play QB and WR at the same time, since he did win 3 purple hearts.




As an added bonus which the team did not initially realize, Kerry can also contribute as a long snapper.

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Old 01-26-2005   #5
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The Chicago Bears, at #4 select:
Joe Horn's Cell Phone- WR

One of the most anticipated recievers in the draft and in a few years. Being around football at a young age, he was a student of the productive New Orleans reciever ,Joe Horn, following him around everywhere he went. He does not shy away from the media and some question his problematic past when he participatedd in Joe Horn's endzone celebration. Although another knock on him is that he has a tendency to lose some receptions and conduct his own play calls, his versitile and metallic-like frame makes him a very solid #4 pick for the Bears.

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Old 01-26-2005   #6
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With the #5 pick in the draft, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers select:

David Hasselhoff



With the remainder of his fanbase following in Germany, David played in a few pick-up soccer matches in Berlin.
And after cutting Martin Grammatica earlier in the season, the Bucs are looking for a "well oiled machine"....leg wise.
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Old 01-30-2005   #7
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With the 14th pick in the 2005 NFL Draft, the Carolina Panthers select.... BOB! (TE)




Bob wasnt going to declare for the draft, but with a call to Enzyte and a fresh new burst of confidence, he found himself bulking up and preparing for a loooooooong season. Now bob is the new TE for the Carolina Panthers, and his BIG 1st round draft pick contract has him throbbing with an incredible desire to play the game. Yes, Bob is living large down in Carolina, thanks to Enzyte.
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Old 01-30-2005   #8
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that may very well be the funniest thing i have ever seen on this message board...thanks bro.....i have to go to the hospital now. i cracked a rib.
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Old 01-30-2005   #9
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Mel Kiper Jr has reported that the Texans are looking to draft a "king" @ #18....with his basketball career continuing to skyrocket,LeBron James still wants to play WR in the NFL...and the Texans reportedly have interest...stay tuned to see what the Texans do @ 18. Houston will have to find a jersey thats only fit for a king.
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Old 01-30-2005   #10
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With the 15th pick in the 2005 NFL Draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select...




Tony Danza


A strong pick for the Chiefs, Danza decided to give up his acting and boxing careers to pursue his dream of playing WR in the NFL. "We feel that Tony will be able to help us throughout the season. His speed and witty sense of humor is the missing piece of our puzzle," Cheifs President Carl D. Peterson said after the pick was made. When asked if he felt that his presence would be felt thoughtout the league, Danza replied, "Definately. I'm the boss!"
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Old 01-31-2005   #11
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With the 16th pick in the 2005 draft, the New Orleans Saints select...



The Waterboy. Luck must've been on their side today b/c no one moved up to snatch their "hometown" guy this year.

Anyway, they needed to fill 2 holes on their team, so this pick was a no brainer. The Waterboy will give them the playmaker they desperately need on their LB corps, and he'll give his team a boost in stamina thanks to his "aquatic engineering" skills.

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Old 01-31-2005   #12
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With the 17th pick in the 2005 NFL Draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select

LB Terry Tate



The Bengals pass up Jar Jar Binks due to character issues, but in acquiring Tate, they have finally got the kick in the butt they need on and OFF the field. Not only will he destroy opposing running backs at linebacker, but he will also keep the front office in check when it isn't gameday.
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Old 01-31-2005   #13
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With the 18th pick in the 2005 NFL Draft, the Houston Texans select...





Don King

Well, Mel Kiper Jr. was right about the Texans drafting a "King", but I think Houston was sending the wrong message. Ever since his teenage years in Cleveland, King has had the dream to play in the NFL. As a center for the local community college, King played all 4 seasons without a botched snap. Although the NFL will take up some serious time out of his life, King will still be promoting upcoming title fights. When asked how he'll be able to juggle both professions, King smiled and said "Only in America!"
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