Re: Eagles sign Connor Barwin
His first order of business: Finding a great Hipster outlet mall for new clothes.
Followed by hooking up with some two-seater bicycle clubs in the arts district.
And, he's going to have a lot of new friends to have over for naked karaoke.
But come Sundays, no other Eagles defensive player will patty-cake his man as hard and as regular as Barwin will. Plus side is this: He'll never draw a 15-yarder for roughing the passer or hitting the QB in the helmet.
Philly fans are going to LOVE this guy. If they loved Jason Babin, they are going to divorce their spouses and join The Cult of Connor for sure.
Congrats, Eagles fans. You just overpaid for a Camp Champion. Don't stare too hard at the hair nor the muscles! That's his trance-inducing Jedi mind trick he uses on people. He sucks WAY bad on Sundays. Just warning you ahead of time.