Texans coaches take the players to the mall and the movies on Saturday where they are all offered a "chocolate covered pretzel" by a guy who looks a lot like Blaine Gabbert in a brown wig
This results in the entire 53 man roster calling in sick the next day. The Texans are expected to forfeit but instead Rick signs 3 good street free agents and Alex Gibbs to the active roster along with the entire practice squad who give us 11 players who will play both offense and defense with less than an hour to learn their positions on both sides of the ball. Goodell signs off on this plan provided the Texans promise not to give Gabbert a concussion. Gary and Wade both pinky-swear to this and the game is on.
Jags eek out a close 27-24 win over the Texans thanks to a bad call in the closing seconds by referee Jerome Bogert.
Only way it could possibly happen.