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Old Fart Brigade

Group Created by Double Barrel

Only old farts over 40! Must be getting grumpy and unable to comprehend pants that look like you took a crap in them because they hang down so low. If you are a young peckerwood or whoopersnapper, NO ENTRY!

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Showing Social Group Messages 1 to 10 of 52
  1. steelbtexan
    02-11-2012
    steelbtexan
    Just felt the need to post,

    Cerberus heart attack let me know that I need to be nicer to the libs. LOL

    Hope he gets well soon
  2. Double Barrel
    09-16-2011
    Double Barrel
    'eh? What?! Can't hear you?!
  3. Corrosion
    08-31-2011
    Corrosion
    Only 4 weeks Showtime .... Im too busy trying to WIN and Failing.
  4. Showtime100
    07-28-2011
    Showtime100
    There hasn't been a post here in 2 years and 4 months. Now we're older farts!

    Let's see how long it takes for another fart to notice this post. :D
  5. Double Barrel
    03-10-2009
    Double Barrel
    One of my son's friends came over to spend the night a couple of weeks ago. Funny and smart kid, so we didn't mind having him over. But he brings his little Nintendo DS gaming device, which is for one player. He wanted to sit around our house playing his game. Ummmm, how about....NO! We made him put it up and actually play with his buddy (our 6 yo son).

    Now my boy wants a tv, dvd player, sat dish, game console, cpu, and internet in his room!

    We thought about it, and the answer was....NO!

    Pay your own rent and you can buy that stuff to put wherever you want. Until then...NO!

    Crazy what kids are saturated with these days. We must be bad parents since we make him go outside (with us) on pretty days instead of watching the boob tube. Oh, man, the torture! lol!
  6. cuppacoffee
    03-08-2009
    cuppacoffee
    I went to my 9 year old grandaughters birthday party yesterday. (Saturday 8th).

    Her mom threw a party for her, bbq sandwiches, french fries, drinks and chips. Had the customary cake and ice cream too.

    Lots of school mates and ball team members showed up.

    She received several electronic gadgets, dvds, cd’s, and about $100.00 in cash.

    Got me to thinking about my last birthday party I could remember as a young child.

    Best gift I can remember from that party, I was probably 7 or 8 years old really can’t recall, was a big hollow plastic pencil full of #2 pencils and a couple of erasers.

    I guess all parents want their kids to have it better than they did, but at what point does it become too much.

    Times really have changed.

    coffee
  7. Double Barrel
    03-06-2009
    Double Barrel
    I think I'm going to get a can of 'air horn' for those telemarketing calls. Will I get in trouble for that?

    I'd just answer the phone (not my cell) and say nothing. That way I can quickly determine if it's automated or someone is on the line. Then if it's a person, HOOOOOONNKK!!!!!! Kablooey goes the ear drum! That's mean of me, isn't it?

    I'm starting to answer the long distance telemarketing calls. It has to cost them something, yeah? And when I do, I like to mumble and use my two devices: a Mr. T in the pocket (it has six different Mr. T sayings with audio of the man himself) and my electronic fart machine. It's sort of like prank calling in reverse.

    Speaking of my Mr. T in a box, the funniest thing was when my son was 2 and he'd run around the house with that thing. He couldn't say a word, but Mr. T could say it for him! People would trip when they heard it and didn't realize it was a device. We actually convinced a couple of friends that our boy was saying it. Talk about gullible! :)
  8. cuppacoffee
    03-05-2009
    cuppacoffee
    posted by DB.."Or, the guy in the john that must have the president on the phone because he can't stop talking for even 5 minutes to do his business. Seriously? You can't just tell the other person that you need to take a leak or drop a load, or just politely ask to call them back? I hang up on people when they start grunting on the other end. You never know what they are doing! The last thing I want to do is chat when I'm taking care of business."


    I guess this explains a lot.

    My 17 yr old granddaughter dropped her $300 cell in the toilet. For the life of me I couldn't figure out how something like that could happen. I didn't even ask her mother (my daughter) if she had lost her mind spending that much on a cell phone. I think the damn thing was insured for such an occurrence. Go figure that one out.

    I got a telemarketer call on my cell the other day. Am I going to have to pay for idit telemarketers to call me now? That just wouldn't be right. And they wanted to warn me that my warranty was about to run out on my car and I should call them. The last time I bought a car was in 1998. Worlds gone crazy.
  9. Double Barrel
    03-05-2009
    Double Barrel
    How To Tell If You're Officially Old

    1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

    2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

    3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

    4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

    5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

    6. You watch the Weather Channel.

    7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

    8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

    9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

    10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

    11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

    12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

    13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.

    14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

    15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

    16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

    17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

    18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

    19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

    20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

    21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

    22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."

    23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

    24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

    25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn't apply to you.
  10. Double Barrel
    02-25-2009
    Double Barrel
    Great post, cuppacoffee!! I laughed about your wife's Wal-Mart camouflage. That's great.

    It's a love/hate relationship with my cell phone. I refuse to wear it or have it on me when I'm at work or at home. I mean, I'm at work with a "land line" phone just a foot from me, and at home, we have a home phone number!! Why, if nobody is going to call us on it is the question...

    But people are always calling me on the cell and then they say "I can never reach you" because I don't live my life to answer the damn cell phone all the time.

    The ones I love are when my friends call me when they're on their way home from work. It never fails, they're road raging and screaming at some no-turn-signal-using moron on the road, with all the background noise of driving, and then get upset when I keep asking "what?" because I can't understand them.

    Or, the guy in the john that must have the president on the phone because he can't stop talking for even 5 minutes to do his business. Seriously? You can't just tell the other person that you need to take a leak or drop a load, or just politely ask to call them back? I hang up on people when they start grunting on the other end. You never know what they are doing! The last thing I want to do is chat when I'm taking care of business.

    Guess I'm an old fart that way.

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