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SA Fan
06-02-2005, 12:06 PM
Texans | New Linebacker Schemes
Thur, 02 June 2005 9:20:59 -0700

With approximately 64 linebackers on the current roster, the Houston Texans are looking to create new defensive and offensive schemes. "When you have these kinds of guys, you kind of want to let them do their work." Coach Dom Capers said.
In the typical 3-4 scheme, Linebackers are essential to the success of the defense, But with so many Linebackers in the roster, the Texans are looking forward to utilizing the Linebacker corps even more by infusing new defensive schemes.

"The most popular is the $1.10 (buck-ten). Where we let these guys do what they are supposed to." Coach Capers Comments, referring to their innovative new 0-11-0 alignment. Called the "Sea of LB's" by the players it allows for a theoretical total of 363 different combinations of attack and coverage for the defense. "We suspect that offensive coordinators to be pretty surprised, and well, overwhelmed." Expounds Kailee Wong, the new play caller for the defense. Scouts and coaches across the league will surely keep a careful eye on the Texans defense to see how this new defensive scheme progresses.

But linebackers are not only projected to be used on defense.

After the lackluster performance from the offensive line and continuing poor luck at the Tight End Position, Offensive Coordinator Chris Palmer has created a new offensive formation featuring 10 Linebackers and a Quarterback. "These guys are used to blocking and being blocked." Explains Palmer. "So it only makes sense to try to use their skills for the offense as well."

The theory behind the new offensive scheme called the "Phantom Menace" is to not only use the increased athleticism of the Linebackers to hold the defense at the line, but to get at least one open who will then be a Tight End by default. "Some of these guys have some really soft hands." David Carr comments. "These guys usually try to intercept a ball that is not at the right trajectory or at the right speed to be caught. So when a ball is purposefully thrown for them to catch it, they do pretty well." The QB who has historically had to work with the least time (after the snap) in the entire league commented (when pressed) that he didn't see that much of a difference in amount of time he had to throw.

Other NFL teams with poor Offensive Line performance are gearing up to employ a similar scheme in the pre-season.

But even with backups, these schemes use around 30 linebackers; only half the corps currently on the roster. Which leads to the last phase of the football strategy: Special Teams. "Linebackers have always been an essential part of the special teams concept." Explains Joe Marciano, Special Teams Coordinator for the Texans. "With our new schemes, the Linebackers will play a more important part." The Texans plan on featuring a 10-1 option for kick and return teams, while leaving the extra point teams intact.

"Kris Brown will still be kicking the ball, but after those couple of big tackles he made last season, he's been made an Honorary Linebacker." Special Teams Specialist LB Jason Bell reveals. Other sources within the Texans stated that with the increased speed of Jerome Mathis and Phillip Buchannon at kick return, the returner will remain a dual position and not based in linebacker...for now.

Known for playing conservative, the Houston Texans have made impressive moves this off season. Speculation about the impatience of owner Bob Mcnair to see results appears not to be entirely unfounded. With their large changes in personnel in this off-season and
the high-risk trades and draft choices made by GM Charlie Casserly, the Texans powers-that-be are looking to swing the pendulum to the other side. The team known for playing it safe seems to be ready to take a different path at this fork in the road.

"If this doesn't work, we're all boned." Commented an official who requested to remain nameless.

TEXANS84
06-02-2005, 12:08 PM
Offensive Coordinator Chris Palmer has created a new offensive formation featuring 10 Linebackers and a Quarterback.

Oh god...


Funny stuff SA

Porky
06-02-2005, 12:42 PM
Oh god...


Funny stuff SA


Hilarious. lol:

Vinny
06-02-2005, 12:48 PM
I'll need a link for that please.

Warning: It's A JOKE for the further sarcastically impared!!

wrestler4life
06-02-2005, 12:53 PM
Why don't we just get better at the stuff we had last year, rather than learn an entire new system that sounds like a gimmick?

HardKnockTexan
06-02-2005, 12:59 PM
Why don't we just get better at the stuff we had last year, rather than learn an entire new system that sounds like a gimmick? I'm pretty sure the thread was started as a joke. You dont really believe that the Texans are going to field 10 Linebackers and 1 QB on offense do you?? Even though there were some games last year (Cleavland *cough cough*) that it really doesnt seem like a bad idea.

ny texan
06-02-2005, 01:07 PM
well done. :thumbup

Ibar_Harry
06-02-2005, 01:08 PM
This is more than funny, but the tragedy is there is a lot of truth in what is being said in a strange way. It really does describe Caper's mentality. He appears to be totally blind to anything, but defense. Actually I would love to see some of the coaches read that post. Its well written and it really does get to the point. There are some very talented people posting on this web site. Satire can be very bitting and informative. Each of us will probably interpretate it in a different way, but again its a post you won't see on most other sites.

ojthecat
06-02-2005, 01:34 PM
This is more than funny, but the tragedy is there is a lot of truth in what is being said in a strange way. It really does describe Caper's mentality. He appears to be totally blind to anything, but defense.

Blind, Please why do you always bash the Texans whenever you have a chance? Capers is one of the best coaches in all of football and to say that he is blind to anything but defense is obsurd. He may be conservitive but to say he is blind no. The Texans are entering there 4th year and so far we have added a Number 1 QB, we have an All Pro receiver and a 1000 yrd rusher for each of the past 2 years. How can you say things like this?
:confused:

Htown34s
06-02-2005, 02:49 PM
Too funny. Someone spent a lot of time on this, SA Fan?

wags
06-02-2005, 04:20 PM
This is more than funny, but the tragedy is there is a lot of truth in what is being said in a strange way. It really does describe Caper's mentality. He appears to be totally blind to anything, but defense. Actually I would love to see some of the coaches read that post. Its well written and it really does get to the point. There are some very talented people posting on this web site. Satire can be very bitting and informative. Each of us will probably interpretate it in a different way, but again its a post you won't see on most other sites.

Holy Cow. I didn't think it was possible, but you made a post without including Vinny's name in it. Congratulations. :highfive:

infantrycak
06-02-2005, 04:27 PM
Holy Cow. I didn't think it was possible, but you made a post without including Vinny's name in it. Congratulations. :highfive:

Yeah but he worked in Capers' mentality of ignoring the offense. :brickwall

geofb
06-02-2005, 04:44 PM
Bravo, SA! Keep up the good work! I fully expected some of the rose-colored-glasses/defend-every-move-the-Texans-make types on this board to be caught off guard, assume this was a real article, and give a lengthy explanation as to why using 11 linebackers on the field at one time is a true mark of the wisdom of our front office/coaching staff.

SA Fan
06-02-2005, 04:45 PM
I'll need a link for that please.

Warning: It's A JOKE for the further sarcastically impared!!


Here's your link Vinny.

http://tinyurl.com/7qdnj


:cool:

Lucky
06-02-2005, 04:51 PM
That's one weird pic. Looks as if Popovich(sp?) is upset that Ginobilli spurned him for Tony Parker. Can't wait for the next league video, NBA Love Triangles.

SA Fan
06-02-2005, 10:15 PM
This is more than funny, but the tragedy is there is a lot of truth in what is being said in a strange way. It really does describe Caper's mentality. He appears to be totally blind to anything, but defense. Actually I would love to see some of the coaches read that post. Its well written and it really does get to the point. There are some very talented people posting on this web site. Satire can be very bitting and informative. Each of us will probably interpretate it in a different way, but again its a post you won't see on most other sites.


Thanks for the Compliment IBAR.

I was originally going to make this post over the top with crazy quotes from the linebackers and coaches. But I decided to take the high road and make it more like a real news story.

wrestler4life
06-03-2005, 01:06 PM
With some of the stuff Capers pulls, you really had me fooled. Who knows what those guys might try.