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GP
10-04-2012, 07:05 PM
This is a helluva' long article guys and gals! Made me laugh a lot, mostly because it's things we talk about ALL THE TIME on here. Seriously, it's like the author has been on this board for years or something. It's eery creepy cool. The author says he's been covering the Texans as an ESPN The Magazine writer for many years now.

I seriously only pasted about half of the article. It should be read a little each day, broken into a series or something. LOL! Enjoy.

My point is: Don’t be ashamed. You’re not alone. I know you take a great deal of special pride in being The Football Guy. You know, all those fantasy football teams you run, that one triple-reverse you orchestrated to win your flag football championship, and that one time you’re pretty sure you sat two seats away from Dermontti Dawson on that flight to Lexington.

So stop cramming late at night and beating yourself up during the day over the fact that the 4-0 Texans are the hottest, coolest, trendiest team in the NFL right now -- and you, my so-called die-hard NFL junkie friend, don’t know the first thing about them.

Now, stop it, you can’t blame this on the replacement refs, too. It’s not their fault.

The truth is, while a first-class organization all the way, the actual Texans team has been a bit of a nonfactor for most of its first decade. (The only reason I know this is I’ve been writing about them seemingly nonstop in ESPN The Magazine, ever since we first declared them the "It" team, oh, um ... [cough] four years ago .... ahhhheeemmm.)

So it’s understandable, newbie, that you still might want to add a "W" or a "P" or god knows what else to the pronunciation of QB Matt Schaub’s name. (Between you and me: it goes SH- plus OBB and rhymes with JOB.)

Or that you thought J.J. Watt was some kind of energy-efficient light bulb, not a Texans defensive end who is my Defensive Player of the Year for the first quarter of the season (7.5 sacks already).

Or that you once asked about tickets to "Battle Red," thinking it was about a war movie on Mars starring Denise Richards, not a rallying cry for Houston fans, usually during divisional games late in the season, when the Texans wear their red alternate third jerseys.

Now, now, don’t worry, your secret is safe with Uncle Flem. I’m here to help.



Link to full article HERE (http://espn.go.com/blog/playbook/fandom/post/_/id/12474/flem-file-get-the-scoop-on-the-texans).

utahmark
10-04-2012, 07:22 PM
Barbeque Shrimp Makes Cowboys Nauseous.

Errant Hothy
10-04-2012, 07:24 PM
Barbeque Shrimp Makes Cowboys Nauseous.

Is only going to work untill Jones takes Caldwell's spot full time.

utahmark
10-04-2012, 07:34 PM
Is only going to work untill Jones takes Caldwell's spot full time.

Barbeque Shrimp Makes Jaguars Nauseous.

Texas T
10-04-2012, 07:37 PM
Thanks-that was some funny stuff!

Playoffs
10-04-2012, 07:48 PM
Flem phlegmed it, everyone knows he likes to be called Tim. (Biakabutuka)

GlassHalfFull
10-04-2012, 07:49 PM
Question: Whatís the difference between the Dallas Cowboys and a dollar?

Answer: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar. :whip:

DBCooper
10-04-2012, 08:22 PM
Dude, you are totally right.

He is a member here.

GP
10-04-2012, 08:23 PM
Dude, you are totally right.

He is a member here.

Yep, he might even be closer than you think. ;)

darnbni99a
10-04-2012, 08:55 PM
lol good read

gg no re
10-04-2012, 10:49 PM
Yep, he might even be closer than you think. ;)

Yep it was all me who wrote that. Thnx for the share. ;)

GP
10-05-2012, 12:34 AM
Yep it was all me who wrote that. Thnx for the share. ;)

Dammit, gg. I was trying to make people think that I wrote it.

Way to go...geez.

:challenge

Thorn
10-05-2012, 05:44 AM
On Foster:

The Saints, Giants, Jets and Bucs all had interest in signing Foster as an undrafted rookie free agent, but he picked the Texans based on Internet research conducted by ... his girlfriend.

On Schaub:

Yeah, he lost part of his ear on a gruesome hit a few weeks ago. But donít bring this up. Either refer to him as the Player of the Ear or joke that he really likes to send Johnson on those deep Van Gogh routes.

Interesting and funny stuff in that article. A good read, thanks for posting GP.

TheIronDuke
10-05-2012, 07:40 AM
I thought Foster chose us because we offered a longer contract than the other teams did.

Good read, thanks for posting.

GlassHalfFull
10-05-2012, 07:41 AM
Dammit, gg. I was trying to make people think that I wrote it.

Way to go...geez.

:challenge

Naw, nobody was going there. The article wasn't long enough for that.:kitten:

GP
10-05-2012, 07:50 AM
Naw, nobody was going there. The article wasn't long enough for that.:kitten:

I will maybe laugh about this tomorrow.

Or plot your message board demise.

j/k

:)

Hardcore Texan
10-05-2012, 07:54 AM
Naw, nobody was going there. The article wasn't long enough for that.:kitten:

:ohsnap:

I will maybe laugh about this tomorrow.

Or plot your message board demise.

j/k

:)

:popcorn:

Brisco_County
10-05-2012, 10:06 PM
Good read. Of course, in this nascent phase of the Texans bandwaggoner era, I would have fun messing with real fake fans by reminiscing about the glory days of the much-feared halfback pass, the keen scouting insight of our first GM, and the wide receiving skills of Chester Pitts. I'm hearing an imaginary "Yeah dog, he was tha bomb!" as I type this.