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View Full Version : .....You Might Be A Texan's Fan


Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 08:48 PM
So earlier I was thinking about those old Jeff Foxworthy jokes where he would say some situation and then say "....you might be a redneck!"

The I thought about a couple of Texan jokes, and thought we could have fun with this.

So, I'll start. Think of your own and post them. See what we can do with this.


If you refer to a backup QB as HWMNBN, You might be a Texan's fan.

Take it away!

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 08:49 PM
If you feel bad about the team after a 38-14 victory, You might be a Texan's fan.

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 08:51 PM
If you shudder at the thought of a Peyton Manning comeback, You might be a Texan fan.

drunkcookie
09-30-2012, 08:51 PM
...if you have a picture of Kareem Jackson falling down on file for the next time an opposing receiver catches a pass on him...

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 08:52 PM
If the sight of a helicopter reminds you of Sage Rosenfelts, you might be a Texans fan.

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 08:56 PM
If you hate Bud Adams more than your mother in law, you might be a Texans fan.

Luv_ya_blue
09-30-2012, 09:07 PM
If you believe "Tony Bosseli" and "Jinx" are synonomous...

If you know what it's like NOT to have to wait until draft day to find out who your team will take @ #1...

speedfreek
09-30-2012, 09:13 PM
If you think the Phillips's are the nations first family -- you might be a Texans fan..

TJ

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 09:13 PM
If you compare winning a coaching challenge to seeing a solar eclipse, you might be a Texans fan.

gtexan02
09-30-2012, 09:14 PM
If you leave the game early in the 4th quarter to "beat traffic...." you might be a corporate fan

Showtime100
09-30-2012, 09:17 PM
If you are 4-0......you might be a Texans fan. :shades:

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 09:19 PM
If you don't know what sunday night football on NBC is, you might be a Texans fan!

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 09:20 PM
If you have an uncontrollable hatred towards Albert Haynseworth, you might be a Texans fan.

iLoveTexans
09-30-2012, 09:29 PM
If you say "This is our superbowl" every week, you might be a Texans fan.

Pantherstang84
09-30-2012, 09:31 PM
If 19-10 has a special meaning in your heart, you might be a Texans fan.

Stemp
09-30-2012, 09:33 PM
If you still remember hearing "Let's go Astros!" chanted during a football game......
you might be a Texans fan.

Titans Sux 72
09-30-2012, 10:01 PM
If you cant wait to see the next week power rankings and are pizzed off when the Texans are #2.:kubepalm:

chicagotexan2
09-30-2012, 10:18 PM
If a perfect trifecta means a texans win and a titans and cowboys loss.

If you think VY sausage is earl Campbell sausages biatch

If you're willing to endure listening to josh innes on 610 just to listen about how your texans just smashed their last opponent

I

Big Lou
09-30-2012, 10:26 PM
If every week you here that the upcoming game is the "biggest in franchise history", you might be a Texans Fan.........

steelbtexan
09-30-2012, 10:29 PM
If you're ok with BoB doubling his $$$$ off taxpayers backs while only producing one playoff team in a decade you might be a Texans fan.

Lurvinator11
09-30-2012, 10:36 PM
MSR to everyone who has posted in this thread. Can't rep anyone, since I have posted too much today.

CretorFrigg
09-30-2012, 10:42 PM
You might be a Texans fan if the name Frank Bush gives you nightmares.

MEGA SWATT
09-30-2012, 10:44 PM
If you've watched all the Texan's games from game 1 to present, through all the highs and lows - and you are now deeply annoyed by all the Johnny-come- lately "Texan" fans:koolaid: From Houston DJs, news anchors and John Q publics-alike.

Stemp
09-30-2012, 10:44 PM
You might be a Texans fan if the name Frank Bush gives you nightmares.

And it brings a smile knowing he's now in Tennessee

Titans Sux 72
09-30-2012, 10:46 PM
You might be a Texans fan if the name Frank Bush gives you nightmares.

Winner winner chicken dinner!

BullNation4Life
09-30-2012, 11:10 PM
...If your Houston Texans are 4-0 and you whine about them only beating the other team by 24 instead of 30....

You might be a Texans fan...

Perki-Perk
09-30-2012, 11:59 PM
If being 4-0 and a 20 point lead in each game still has you uneasy, you might be a Texans fan.

BSofA04
10-01-2012, 12:17 AM
If you call him Cortland innegan.

eriadoc
10-01-2012, 01:22 AM
If you have a reflexive, deep seated fear of facing a rookie/first start QB from years past ...

bshep86
10-01-2012, 01:37 AM
If you have to watch the game online because the Texans are NEVER on in your market...

:brickwall:

Showtime100
10-01-2012, 01:59 AM
.......if ESPN ignores your 4-0 team.

htowntexans1985
10-01-2012, 02:49 AM
If you got your hotel booked for New Orleans in February.......You might be a texans fan.
:shades:

Marcus
10-01-2012, 02:54 AM
If you crap a peach seed every time you see a returner handle a punt....

76Texan
10-01-2012, 02:57 AM
If you crap a peach seed every time you see a returner handle a punt....:lol::lol:

Playoffs
10-01-2012, 09:21 AM
If every time someone says, "What?", you break into a cheer and chant "M.V.P., M.V.P.!" ..... you might be a Texans fan.

Dread-Head
10-01-2012, 10:49 AM
If all the national media types suddenly giving the Texans props who were dissin' them last year and will again if they drop two in a row sickens you...

since02
10-01-2012, 12:40 PM
If you know that battle red, deep steel blue, and liberty white are not Dodge pickup truck colors....

You might be a texans fan

Perki-Perk
10-01-2012, 04:37 PM
If, after every first down, you turn to the rest of the members of the sports bar you're at and exclaim, "THAT'S GOOD FOR A HOUSTON TEXANS.." followed by a chorus of most of the bar, "FIRST DOWN!!!!"....you might be a Texans fan.

rush2112mn
10-01-2012, 05:26 PM
If you have an uncontrollable hatred towards Albert Haynseworth, you might be a Texans fan.

before this year.....

Texas T
10-01-2012, 05:31 PM
If you call him Cortland innegan.

That even gets me a laugh here in Tennessee!

BSofA04
10-02-2012, 12:27 AM
That even gets me a laugh here in Tennessee!
:bravo:

Lurvinator11
10-02-2012, 12:28 AM
If the thought of a rookie QB scares you more than facing a seasoned vet, you might be a Texans fan.

Brisco_County
10-02-2012, 12:52 AM
If you find yourself scanning the Broncos or Redskins practice squad for potential waiver claims...

Brisco_County
10-02-2012, 01:01 AM
If you are forced into the position of criticizing your college QB hero because your fellow Longhorn fans are still delusional after seven years...

KA4Texan
10-02-2012, 07:33 AM
If you've watched all the Texan's games from game 1 to present, through all the highs and lows - and you are now deeply annoyed by all the Johnny-come- lately "Texan" fans:koolaid: From Houston DJs, news anchors and John Q publics-alike.

Name of the game, eventually the Texans will rebuild (shuddering) and all those fans that annoy you will be gone.

Just sit back and enjoy the good times and ignore those that don't know what its like to "ride or die" with any team during the ups AND downs.

I mean after all, the band wagon fans ARE what we have been waiting for (not directly but indirectly since bandwagons only show up when you are good enough to be the "next big thing")

TexansBull
10-02-2012, 07:48 AM
You might be a Texans fan if you have noticed 610 and the like talk about things discussed here days after it has been posted here.

The Pencil Neck
10-02-2012, 03:57 PM
You might be a Texans fan if you have noticed 610 and the like talk about things discussed here days after it has been posted here.

You might be a Texans fan if you're posting here to begin with.

ThaJokaa
10-02-2012, 06:50 PM
If you remember the exciting comebacks Schaub pulled out of his ass only for the D to lose it in OT; You might be a Texans fan..

FirstTexansFan
10-03-2012, 07:38 AM
If you've ever taken a players name and turned it into a verb (Pollardized) you might be a Texans fan.

and

drum roll.....


If you've ever made FTF's #1 fan signature line, you're definitely a Texans fan :)

TejasTom
10-03-2012, 08:52 AM
You might be a Texans fan if you have noticed 610 and the like talk about things discussed here days after it has been posted here.

You might be a Texan's fan if your friends hear something on the radio and come to you to find out more.

Dread-Head
10-03-2012, 10:36 AM
If you think former Defensive Coordinator Frank Bush should be permanantly banned from:

a. Coaching

b. watching

or even

c. THINKING about

The game of football, you might be a Texans fan.

The Pencil Neck
10-03-2012, 12:00 PM
If you think former Defensive Coordinator Frank Bush should be permanantly banned from:

a. Coaching

b. watching

or even

c. THINKING about

The game of football, you might be a Texans fan.

OR not permanently banned but sent to coach for a division rival.

Hookem Horns
10-03-2012, 12:10 PM
You know you are a former Houston Oiler's fan if everytime you hear the Fox Studios drum roll intro before each of their movies you sing in your head "Look out football here we come ..."

This is the one I am referring to ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qDdYlyLRoI

OK, don't tell me I am alone on this one.

Dread-Head
10-03-2012, 12:30 PM
OR not permanently banned but sent to coach for a division rival.

Bah! They'd eventually realize how much he sucked and fire him...

Dread-Head
10-03-2012, 12:31 PM
You know you are a former Houston Oiler's fan if everytime you hear the Fox Studios drum roll intro before each of their movies you sing in your head "Look out football here we come ..."

This is the one I am referring to ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qDdYlyLRoI

OK, don't tell me I am alone on this one.

"We're in the air we're on the ground always in control, and when you say the Dolphins...uh...I mean the oilers...you're talking Superbowl..."

The Pencil Neck
10-03-2012, 01:23 PM
Bah! They'd eventually realize how much he sucked and fire him...

They haven't, yet.

You do know that he's the LB coach for the Titans, right?

drunkcookie
10-03-2012, 03:20 PM
...upon learning Lestar Jean would "miss some time", you immediately googled "David Anderson" to see if he was available because you know Kubs can't completely quit him...

Luv_ya_blue
10-03-2012, 08:51 PM
You know you are a former Houston Oiler's fan if everytime you hear the Fox Studios drum roll intro before each of their movies you sing in your head "Look out football here we come ..."

This is the one I am referring to ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qDdYlyLRoI

OK, don't tell me I am alone on this one.

I thought I was the only one...

http://youtu.be/TvWn_yGaA-Y

Wolf
10-03-2012, 09:20 PM
If you had to get memorabilia (hat) from a guy that got his from Nebraska, you might be a Texan's fan


true story .. 2 years ago I searched Kerrville for a Texan's hat.. no luck.. I visited my dad in Plano.. and went through 3 stores and found one (only one) . I didn't like it but only one I found.. bought it and went back to Kerrville and was talking to a friend about it and how I didn't like the hat I got and how it was the only one and he had a hat..I traded him Texans hat (solid blue with Texans logo and mine had white and blue on brim and whatnot)


I still wear the hat even how faded it is now .

it was SAD.. saw Titans stuff, Cowboys stuff. Green Bay stuff etc etc, but kid you not .. no Texans stuff

ObsiWan
10-04-2012, 05:08 AM
If this man's...
http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRK-c-KCIKUjimN78hgL7nSFwtlv1K92Oe1FuS2dk0xJocxrgNP

or this man's

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQrBOnUykD12UuaMXiYNzbn8obLTsLCL 4AyydWqt59IXKDo9IPa


image springs IMMEDIATELY to mind whenever you hear the word "BEAST"

...you MIGHT be a Texans' fan

Hookem Horns
10-04-2012, 09:56 AM
If you are forced into the position of criticizing your college QB hero because your fellow Longhorn fans are still delusional after seven years...

Somehow I missed this one when I first looked over this thread. I fall into this category. Not only this, I found myself rooting for him to fail just to shut those morons up.

However unfortunately him failing has not shut them all up. Some now are even blaming the Texans for his failure and have this "forever hate the Texans" thing going on.

badboy
10-04-2012, 11:51 PM
If your best friend is texanstalk.com