Jerrah jones: I want me some glory hole

[Stemp]

Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones admits he is seeking “glory hole” days for his franchise, which last made the playoffs in 2009 and has won only two playoff games since its triumph over Pittsburgh in Super Bowl XXX to close the 1995 season.

Jones was offering praise to veteran tight end Jason Witten for saying the Cowboys cannot settle for “the same old story” again in 2012. Jones declared it good for younger players to hear such perspective from a player who has “been outstanding” but has “not gotten the brass ring.”

Jones said Witten’s comments also motivate him. From there, he proceeded to launch into the most memorable comment of today’s opening news conference about the Cowboys seeking a return to their “glory hole” days of yesteryear.

*“For me, it’s a reminder,” Jones said. “I’ve been here 23 years. I’ve been here when it was glory hole days and I’ve been here when it wasn’t. And, so, having said that, I want me some glory hole. So I have that perspective.”

http://sportsblogs.star-telegram.com/cowboys/2012/07/jones-says-cowboys-seek-return-to-glory-hole-days-of-yesteryear.html (http://sportsblogs.star-telegram.com/cowboys/2012/07/jones-says-cowboys-seek-return-to-glory-hole-days-of-yesteryear.html#storylink=cpy)

[GP]

OMG.

http://www.tony-mackenzie.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/stunned-face.jpg

[GlassHalfFull]

I hate to ask, but just can't resist. What exactly is a glory hole? :hides:

[NCTexan]

I hate to ask, but just can't resist. What exactly is a glory hole? :hides:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=glory+hole

They put it better than I ever could.

[GlassHalfFull]

LOL, now I am really sorry I asked

:blushing:

[GP]

I think we can safely say that THAT is the most hilarious media blunder that any sports person has ever said. Ever.

Can we go ahead and take a vote on that?

Geez. What a sad day for Cowboys fans. LOL.

[brakos82]

http://i.imgur.com/93lnr.gif

[ESAD2-14]

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQM8YYSehqkluofNIdiY8JtcNHdi5OuW QUcceTsqWzsRgGXqTkZ

Yeah.....Glory Hole.......even Matty Ice was shocked at that one.

Perhaps if Jerra has some background in mining or deep sea oil well type stuff that could have been the term he was meaning.
http://www.greatmining.com/glory-hole.html

But for humors sake, lets go with the "other" version.

[Cjeremy635]

http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/bf5/eaf/8e0/resized/jerry-jones-outrage-meme-generator-someone-better-find-me-a-gloryhole-3d2775.jpg

[GlassHalfFull]

This explains why Jerrah wanted that hole in the roof of his new stadium. :kitten:

[Cjeremy635]

This explains why Jerrah wanted that hole in the roof of his new stadium. :kitten:

There is no way that his memeber is that big. Besides, is that his way of telling God to suck it? Maybe it is and that's why they've gone down the tube for over a decade....:thinking:

[Cjeremy635]

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24159116.jpg

[Cjeremy635]

http://i47.tinypic.com/2v0d1kp.jpg

[Hookem Horns]

Someone could really do something funny here with Photoshop ... however I would not even dare to Google "glory hole" images for fear it would show some occupied.

Edit: See above post ..lol. Thankfully I didn't have to do that.

[Goldensilence]

http://i47.tinypic.com/2v0d1kp.jpg

hahahah MSR!!!

[Cjeremy635]

Someone could really do something funny here with Photoshop ... however I would not even dare to Google "glory hole" images for fear it would show some occupied.

Edit: See above post ..lol. Thankfully I didn't have to do that.

Well, my eyes are burning at the $hit I had to sift through to find these images. I need to go make myself throw up and pour bleach in my eyes, but other than that, I don't think there will be any long term effects.

[GP]

Can we end the thread on this one? None will surpass it:

http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/24162023.jpg

[GlassHalfFull]

There is no way that his memeber is that big. Besides, is that his way of telling God to suck it? Maybe it is and that's why they've gone down the tube for over a decade....:thinking:

There is no way the Jerrah isn't delusional enough to believe that his member is that big.......

[Cjeremy635]

There is no way the Jerrah isn't delusional enough to believe that his member is that big.......

This is true.

[False Start]

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/o10G-nmSlhc/0.jpg

[jtexas]

He next will come out and explain how his dream glory hole would be more glittery than the Texans dream glory hole.

“The Cowboys are about about glitz and glitter"

[Cerberus]

Sadly, some of the jokes poke fun at one of the following alternate definitions:

1. a hole in wich gold is located on gold rush Alaska;
2. A room or cupboard used for storing miscellaneous articles, too good to be thrown out or given away, which may be useful at some future time;
3. A hole in the counter at a coffeehouse, used to dispose of trash (send it to glory, as it were);
4. A furnace used by glassblowers to heat pieces while working.

From the Urban Dictionary linked earlier in this post. Of course, I think the standard definition makes his comment funnier than hell. Also makes me wonder what goes on in those locker rooms. Of course, it also makes me think of the scene from Porky's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFVeDfyLUkk&feature=related

[Cjeremy635]

Sadly, some of the jokes poke fun at one of the following alternate definitions:

1. a hole in wich gold is located on gold rush Alaska;
2. A room or cupboard used for storing miscellaneous articles, too good to be thrown out or given away, which may be useful at some future time;
3. A hole in the counter at a coffeehouse, used to dispose of trash (send it to glory, as it were);
4. A furnace used by glassblowers to heat pieces while working.

From the Urban Dictionary linked earlier in this post. Of course, I think the standard definition makes his comment funnier than hell. Also makes me wonder what goes on in those locker rooms. Of course, it also makes me think of the scene from Porky's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFVeDfyLUkk&feature=related

That had to be the definition he was referring to. Because when I think of the Cowboys, I think of trash. :cool:

[NitroGSXR]

Sadly, some of the jokes poke fun at one of the following alternate definitions:

1. a hole in wich gold is located on gold rush Alaska;
2. A room or cupboard used for storing miscellaneous articles, too good to be thrown out or given away, which may be useful at some future time;
3. A hole in the counter at a coffeehouse, used to dispose of trash (send it to glory, as it were);
4. A furnace used by glassblowers to heat pieces while working.

From the Urban Dictionary linked earlier in this post. Of course, I think the standard definition makes his comment funnier than hell. Also makes me wonder what goes on in those locker rooms. Of course, it also makes me think of the scene from Porky's:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFVeDfyLUkk&feature=related

He was probably talking about this church...

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRz8I6xxpD6n0K-4rDfobXSsWMVeW-mu6yRYs5TMAzVl5VQDqUCxA

[Hookem Horns]

Honestly, I didn't know the sexual meaning of that term .. and for good reason.

When I first thought of "Glory Hole" and the Cowboys I thought of this ..

http://media-cdn.tripadvisor.com/media/photo-s/01/0e/53/ab/rusrty-toilet-bowl-in.jpg

[Dutchrudder]

http://i465.photobucket.com/albums/rr14/themishkin/GIFs/XNhfI.gif

[michaelm]

The video of the presser was pretty long, but some kind fan has made a short clip of the hilarity.

I Want Me Some Glory Hole! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1delTo3BAU&feature=player_embedded)

Video and an amusing article (http://www.sportsgrid.com/nfl/jerry-jones-glory-hole/)

[ArlingtonTexan]

I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.

[Texn4life]

I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.

Now why would we let the actual definition he was referring to get in the way when we have a chance to make fun of Mr. Burns in Dallas?

[Double Barrel]

I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.

Tosh.0 and my wife's fav, The Soup, are always making fun of that 'reality' show "Gold Rush" because they are always referring to the glory hole. There is a reason why The Soup and Tosh find it funny like we do. It just is! :D

[ArlingtonTexan]

Now why would we let the actual definition he was referring to get in the way when we have a chance to make fun of Mr. Burns in Dallas?

Very good point...carry on.

[GP]

Tosh.0 and my wife's fav, The Soup, are always making fun of that 'reality' show "Gold Rush" because they are always referring to the glory hole. There is a reason why The Soup and Tosh find it funny like we do. It just is! :D

Exactly!!!

How flipping hard is it to say glory DAYS instead if glory HOLE?

Hey, does anybody have a fag I can set on fire? Oops, fag (cigarette) is also a name for something else.

Using words that carry double meanings is sometimes inviting the jokes.

[ChampionTexan]

I know the 'other' definitions of glory hole are way funnier, but this term is thown around the oil/gas industry under a at least couple of contexts. I am sure that I am not the only Texans native who has heard them before.

Yeah, but when the PR guy pointed out that at the press conference, in an ill fated attempt at controlling the situation, Jerry's word for word response was "That's news to me."

[ArlingtonTexan]

Yeah, but when the PR guy pointed out that at the press conference, in an ill fated attempt at controlling the situation, Jerry's word for word response was "That's news to me."

I think that was jerry trying to be funny. since he made bunches of money in that industry there is about zero chance that he had never hear used in that way. I think that dude has been way more lucky than smart and i hate paying extra tax every time i buy toilet paper, but even that clown is not that unaware or stupid. .

[ChampionTexan]

I think that was jerry trying to be funny. since he made bunches of money in that industry there is about zero chance that he had never hear used in that way. I think that dude has been way more lucky than smart and i hate paying extra tax every time i buy toilet paper, but even that clown is not that unaware or stupid. .

Not saying he didn't, just that him saying he didn't made it look even worse than it already was.

[powda]

Jerrah was a teenager around the time Moses was born. Not his fault he didnt know -I dont think the Egyptians had glory holes...

(If theres something I dont know about the pyramids please correct me!)

[ArlingtonTexan]

Not saying he didn't, just that him saying he didn't made it look even worse than it already was.

Well, he is good for that. :texflag:

[TimeKiller]

Really?


No....really?


This actually happened?

[chicagotexan2]

the cowboys have announced the stadium has changed names

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2245/2190766312_eaf4623991_z.jpg?zz=1


the cowboys have released latest uniforms

http://rlv.zcache.com/texas_glory_hole_tshirt-rb6fdc84e4fce46418f5e487113fc91fe_f039p_400.jpg

[chicagotexan2]

I am going to write a new fight song this sorry ass team. It may take me a while, but the title is easy and so is the chorus. Sing it with me.







GLORY GLORY HOLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!

[Doppelganger]

I hate to ask, but just can't resist. What exactly is a glory hole? :hides:

In Oil Exploration and Gold hunting a Glory hole is basically a hole in the ground where there is a large cachet of the desired product: Crude oil or gold. What Jerry was referring to was in the 90s he had a great team that won championships. He wants the glory holes(championships) rather than the drought the team has been in since the 90s.

Of course, the term glory hole means something very different to most people. This is a great example where Jerry had no idea of the other meaning and as a result looks really out of touch.

[IDEXAN]

Hopelessly diluted old man desperately trying for one more moment of glory in the spotlight.

[Hookem Horns]

Hopelessly diluted old man desperately trying for one more moment of glory in the spotlight.

Now he is calling out the Giants who beat his a** down twice last season and won another SB. It must really suck being a Cowboys fan having this assclown running the show over there.

[StarStruck]

Now he is calling out the Giants who beat his a** down twice last season and won another SB. It must really suck being a Cowboys fan having this assclown running the show over there.

We'll be alright. Ya know we probably have more endurance than any other fan base.

[spurstexanstros]

I had forgotten how much i love this site and its posters....freaking hilarious

[Khari]

http://i47.tinypic.com/2v0d1kp.jpg

that looks sharp...might cut things off :kitten:

[Hookem Horns]

We'll be alright. Ya know we probably have more endurance than any other fan base.

It does suck to root for a team where you hate the owner. We had to deal with Bud Adams for too long.

Ownership makes all of the difference. Growing up a Dodgers fan I saw that organization go from total class to crap overnight because of change of ownership. Now with another new owner it looks like they are going back the other way.

Not only is Jones a meddling / bad owner, he is also an embarrasment to that organization. I know many former Cowboys fans back in Texas that jumped ship because of him. If the Texans continue to rise and the Cowboys stay in neutral I forsee a lot more jumping on the Texans bandwagon, especially in areas of Texas outside of Dallas.

[Stemp]

Is anyone surprised that Jerrah's glory hole also appears to be a bung hole?

[infantrycak]

It does suck to root for a team where you hate the owner. We had to deal with Bud Adams for too long.

Growing up a Cowboys fan you basically weren't even aware of the ownership. The face of the franchise was Tom Landry. Then Jones came in fired Landry and made himself the face of the franchise. He had brief success while inexperienced enough to give way to Jimmy Johnson. Otherwise his third leg is flat from having stepped on it.

[Cjeremy635]

that looks sharp...might cut things off :kitten:

Yeah, but we don't want Cowboys fans to procreate. It's a win-win situation. :hurrah:

[chicagotexan2]

that looks sharp...might cut things off :kitten:

Not to worry I bet the hole is too big and they'll have plenty of wiggle room.

[Cerberus]

In Oil Exploration and Gold hunting a Glory hole is basically a hole in the ground where there is a large cachet of the desired product: Crude oil or gold. What Jerry was referring to was in the 90s he had a great team that won championships. He wants the glory holes(championships) rather than the drought the team has been in since the 90s.

Of course, the term glory hole means something very different to most people. This is a great example where Jerry had no idea of the other meaning and as a result looks really out of touch.

He probably also thinks a f a g g o t is a bundle of sticks.

Is anyone surprised that Jerrah's glory hole also appears to be a bung hole?

Bung hole, isn't that the hole in the middle of a wood barrel that is corked closed?

[Stemp]

Bung hole, isn't that the hole in the middle of a wood barrel that is corked closed?

Usually it's wood, but sometimes it's metal.

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRDXWZFdtCOeTIwNcZsmU5Qputv3mo5_ Vn49BCbgGQVNp23RoQMQ1R_FD6poA

[Hookem Horns]

Growing up a Cowboys fan you basically weren't even aware of the ownership.

That's the way it should be.

[StarStruck]

It does suck to root for a team where you hate the owner. We had to deal with Bud Adams for too long.

Ownership makes all of the difference. Growing up a Dodgers fan I saw that organization go from total class to crap overnight because of change of ownership. Now with another new owner it looks like they are going back the other way.

Not only is Jones a meddling / bad owner, he is also an embarrasment to that organization. I know many former Cowboys fans back in Texas that jumped ship because of him. If the Texans continue to rise and the Cowboys stay in neutral I forsee a lot more jumping on the Texans bandwagon, especially in areas of Texas outside of Dallas.

Free country, cool. :)

[GlassHalfFull]

Growing up a Cowboys fan you basically weren't even aware of the ownership.

That's the way it should be.

I wonder how many football fans outside of Houston could name the owner of the Texans compared to how many outside of Dallas could name the owner of the Cowboys.

My guess is the gap would be big.

I have had a theory for a while that if fans outside of your city can name the owner of the team, it is a bad thing.

[Hookem Horns]

I wonder how many football fans outside of Houston could name the owner of the Texans compared to how many outside of Dallas could name the owner of the Cowboys.

My guess is the gap would be big.

I have had a theory for a while that if fans outside of your city can name the owner of the team, it is a bad thing.

Now that I am living outside of Texas I would say you are right. I doubt anyone around here knows who Bob McNair is.

I also agree with your last statement. I think most casual fans have heard of Bud Adams, Bill Bidwell, the Irsays, Jerry Jones, Dan Snyder, Art Modell, Al Davis, etc. Note 5 of those 7 bad owners have relocated their team at some point.

Probably only diehard fans will know the majority of the owners.

I am pretty diehard however probably still can't name them all.

Know what, promising not to google I will give it a shot right right here ...

AFC South

Texans - Bob McNair
Colts - Jim Irsay
Titans - Satan
Jags - umm, some middle eastern guy. Iotola Hussein?

AFC North

Steelers - The Rooney's .. almost said Andy :)
Bengals - Brown family
Browns - Lerner's but just sold to Jim Haslam (only know this because I just saw his press conference this morning and his name is very similar to Jim Haslett.
Ravens - Have no clue .. Modell sold out correct?

AFC East

Dolphins - Wayne Hezinga still I think.
Patriots - Bob Kraft
Jets - Hess family still I think.
Bills - Ralph Wilson. Only knew that because of the stadium being named after him.

AFC West

Chiefs - Hunt family still?
Broncos - Umm .. no clue.
Raiders - Davis family.
Chargers - Tom Spanos I think

NFC East

Cowboys - that glory hole skeletor looking dude.
Giants - Mara / Tisch families (best ownership in the NFL IMO)
Eagles - Jeffrey Lurie
Redskins -Dan Snyder

NFC South

Bucs - Glazier family
Saints -Tom Benson
Panthers -Jerry Williamson
Falcons - Last name Blanks. Arthur maybe? Weird looking dude with curly hair and mustache

NFC North

Lions -Ford family
Vikings -umm, no clue after Red McCombs sold them.
Bears - umm, how do I not know this? I should know the Bears owner
Packers - actually this is the best ownership in the NFL, publically owned by the fans

NFC West

Seahawks - not a clue
49ers - no clue since that mafia looking short guy sold them, his name escaping me
Rams - hmm ... not sure who has them now. Georgia Frontier before
Cardinals - Bill Bidwell

So the ones I didn't know .. Ravens, Broncos, Bears, Vikings, Rams, Niners, Seahawks.

Not bad .. however I should know the Bears and Broncos owners.

Can someone name those 7 owners without googling?

[ChampionTexan]

So the ones I didn't know .. Ravens, Broncos, Bears, Vikings, Rams, Niners, Seahawks.

Not bad .. however I should know the Bears and Broncos owners.

Can someone name those 7 owners without googling?

Ravens - Can't remember other than his first name is Steve. Broncos -Pat Bolen. Bears - The McCaskey family. Vikings - Ziggy Wilf. Rams - Sold by Georgia Frontierre (estate), but can't remember to who. Niners - Eddie Debartolo's sister and her husband (can't think of the name). Seahawks - Paul Allen.

Apologies in advance for spelling

[Cerberus]

I wonder how many football fans outside of Houston could name the owner of the Texans compared to how many outside of Dallas could name the owner of the Cowboys.

My guess is the gap would be big.

I have had a theory for a while that if fans outside of your city can name the owner of the team, it is a bad thing.

Not really, but then again I can name most of the owners. Besides, you have the flip side of your argument when you consider owners past-and-present like Art Rooney, Ralph Wilson, Al Davis, Wellington Mara, Lamar Hunt, etc. Not the same as a Dan Snyder, Jerry Jones, Art Modell, Mike Brown or William Clay Ford.

[CloakNNNdagger]

Instead of speaking of Glory Holes, Jerruh can now probably be heard saying "My kingdom for O-linemen."
Offensive linemen keep dropping in Dallas (http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/08/03/offensive-linemen-keep-dropping-in-dallas/)

[drs23]

He probably also thinks a f a g g o t is a bundle of sticks.



Bung hole, isn't that the hole in the middle of a wood barrel that is corked closed?

Why, why yes it is. It's also the threaded part on the bottom of a motorcycle fuel tank that the petcock screws onto. Just an FYI. :)

[Stemp]

Why, why yes it is. It's also the threaded part on the bottom of a motorcycle fuel tank that the petcock screws onto. Just an FYI. :)

Wait.... a petcock screws in a gloryhole?? Does Jerrah know about this???

[Grid]

Wait.... a petcock screws in a gloryhole?? Does Jerrah know about this???

No no no.. a petcock screws in a bunghole. And yes, Jerrah is very aware of this.

[Stemp]

No no no.. a petcock screws in a bunghole. And yes, Jerrah is very aware of this.

Ah yes... I'm sure he's got tons of videos showing how it's done. :spit:

[steelbtexan]

Now that I am living outside of Texas I would say you are right. I doubt anyone around here knows who Bob McNair is.

I also agree with your last statement. I think most casual fans have heard of Bud Adams, Bill Bidwell, the Irsays, Jerry Jones, Dan Snyder, Art Modell, Al Davis, etc. Note 5 of those 7 bad owners have relocated their team at some point.

Probably only diehard fans will know the majority of the owners.

I am pretty diehard however probably still can't name them all.

Know what, promising not to google I will give it a shot right right here ...

AFC South

Texans - Bob McNair
Colts - Jim Irsay
Titans - Satan
Jags - umm, some middle eastern guy. Iotola Hussein?

AFC North

Steelers - The Rooney's .. almost said Andy :)
Bengals - Brown family
Browns - Lerner's but just sold to Jim Haslam (only know this because I just saw his press conference this morning and his name is very similar to Jim Haslett.
Ravens - Have no clue .. Modell sold out correct?

AFC East

Dolphins - Wayne Hezinga still I think.
Patriots - Bob Kraft
Jets - Hess family still I think.
Bills - Ralph Wilson. Only knew that because of the stadium being named after him.

AFC West

Chiefs - Hunt family still?
Broncos - Umm .. no clue.
Raiders - Davis family.
Chargers - Tom Spanos I think

NFC East

Cowboys - that glory hole skeletor looking dude.
Giants - Mara / Tisch families (best ownership in the NFL IMO)
Eagles - Jeffrey Lurie
Redskins -Dan Snyder

NFC South

Bucs - Glazier family
Saints -Tom Benson
Panthers -Jerry Williamson
Falcons - Last name Blanks. Arthur maybe? Weird looking dude with curly hair and mustache

NFC North

Lions -Ford family
Vikings -umm, no clue after Red McCombs sold them.
Bears - umm, how do I not know this? I should know the Bears owner
Packers - actually this is the best ownership in the NFL, publically owned by the fans

NFC West

Seahawks - not a clue
49ers - no clue since that mafia looking short guy sold them, his name escaping me
Rams - hmm ... not sure who has them now. Georgia Frontier before
Cardinals - Bill Bidwell

So the ones I didn't know .. Ravens, Broncos, Bears, Vikings, Rams, Niners, Seahawks.

Not bad .. however I should know the Bears and Broncos owners.

Can someone name those 7 owners without googling?

Bears/McCaskey, Broncos/Pat Bowlen, Ravens/Biscotti, Vikings/Wilf, Rams/Kroenke, 49ers/York, Seahawks/Allen.

Some you missed were Jets/Johnson, Dolphins/Ross.

[Hookem Horns]

Some you missed were Jets/Johnson, Dolphins/Ross.

Good catch. I was thinking that both Hess and Hezinger sold but was not sure. I didnt' know the new guys.