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infantrycak
05-11-2005, 08:34 AM
Vikings running back Onterrio Smith was detained last month at Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport after police found paraphernalia later identified as a kit used to circumvent drug tests.

Smith acknowledged to airport police that he was carrying dried urine, along with a device called "The Original Whizzinator" and a bottle of pills labeled "Cleansing Formula." He told police the kit was "for making a clean urine test," according to the police report, and said he was taking the materials to his cousin.

Dried urine?---eeeuwh.

Man it sucks to be the cousin of an NFL player--they always get the blame.

He also acknowledged the presence of a Whizzinator.

The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).

OK now that's funny right thar, I don't care who you are. I guess the NFL will have to institute a tug test.

Link (http://www.startribune.com/stories/510/5396655.html)

Boris
05-11-2005, 09:29 AM
is possession of such a device illegal? I wonder why they detained him.

Boris
05-11-2005, 09:30 AM
sory, i failed to read the link

During the search, a Transportation Security Administration officer found "six or seven" vials of white powder in a clear bag, according to the report. Airport police were called to the scene and began inspecting the materials in a private room.

makes more sense now

wags
05-11-2005, 09:36 AM
Now I know what to get my dad on Father's Day.

Boris
05-11-2005, 09:41 AM
What can women use? What a jip!

infantrycak
05-11-2005, 10:27 AM
For those who aren't googlephobic the web-site for the Whizzinator is hilarious.

El Tejano
05-11-2005, 11:49 AM
Can we please get the extreme cartoonist people to make a cartoon about this?

texasguy346
05-11-2005, 12:16 PM
Wow. The Vikings are like a television show now. Seriously just change their name to "Playmakers". BTW Wonderful marketing deparment for the Whizzinator people. Great name, and their website looks like one of those adds for "XRay Glasses". Wonder if they have different models of the Whizzinator? Whizzinator 2000, Whizzinator XL, MegaUltraWhizzinator.

They even got heater packs to get the "urine" to the desired temperature. And for the ladies who want to beat the test there is Whizzinator for Her. Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman.

This is great stuff.

F-minus67
05-11-2005, 12:32 PM
Why would his cousin want dried urine?

infantrycak
05-11-2005, 12:49 PM
This is why the Vikings took Fason. They have an old Williams, and injury prone Bennett, a total maroon in Onterio Smith (nobody should ask why his draft stock dropped now), who is one strike away from a year ban, and a 3rd down back in M Moore.

Kind of sounded like the league is considering whether this is his third strike. From the article:

Smith was suspended four games last season after testing positive for marijuana, his second "strike" in the league's program. A third "strike" would result in a yearlong suspension. An attempt to substitute a urine specimen qualifies as a positive test, but NFL spokesman Greg Aiello did not immediately know Tuesday whether possession of a masking device fits that criteria.

Aiello seems a little off the facts there because the Whizzinator is not a masking device/agent, it is a urine substitution device. They should at least put the fear of god in him before letting him off the hook--clearly the 4 game suspension meant nothing to him.

beerlover
05-11-2005, 04:59 PM
This is why the Vikings took Fason. They have an old Williams, and injury prone Bennett, a total maroon in Onterio Smith (nobody should ask why his draft stock dropped now), who is one strike away from a year ban, and a 3rd down back in M Moore.

I must have partaken too much Saint Arnold brew because I could have sworn that 3rd down back demoralized the Texans last year @ Relient to the tune of 92 yards in a 34-28 OT win :bomb:

seriously I agree with you, one of the constant needs that came up while playing GM for the Vikings was the RB position and filling it with someone with the talent to break apart the RB by committee. as a matter of fact I never had the chance to make my 4th round pick in our Mock II Draft RB was a serious consideration. whatever happened to the draft thread V?

TopTexanFan16
05-11-2005, 06:24 PM
I must have partaken too much Saint Arnold brew because I could have sworn that 3rd down back demoralized the Texans last year @ Relient to the tune of 92 yards in a 34-28 OT win :bomb:

seriously I agree with you, one of the constant needs that came up while playing GM for the Vikings was the RB position and filling it with someone with the talent to break apart the RB by committee. as a matter of fact I never had the chance to make my 4th round pick in our Mock II Draft RB was a serious consideration. whatever happened to the draft thread V?

yea he rushed for 92 yards.....but now does that reall say anything when he was probably on steroids?

texasguy346
05-11-2005, 06:26 PM
yea he rushed for 92 yards.....but now does that reall say anything when he was probably on steroids?

He's referring to Mewelde Moore, and not Onterrio Smith. Smith missed our game due to his suspension, and Moore was forced into action.

edo783
05-11-2005, 10:38 PM
I am not up on this sort of stuff, but couldn't this be concidered drug parafanelia? I know a Lawyer would probably beat the heck out of it in court, but it has that feel to me.