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Stemp
01-02-2012, 06:37 PM
IRVING, TEXAS—In an attempt to cut the franchise's losses and "move forward in a positive direction," the Dallas Cowboys severed ties with controversial owner Jerry Jones Monday, ending their tumultuous 20-year relationship with the divisive figure.

According to sources within the Cowboys organization, the decision to release Jones was influenced by the lack of any playoff victories in more than 12 years, the owner's distracting sideline antics, and his selfish, "me first" attitude, which many said was having a cancerous effect on the clubhouse.

"We value Jerry's contributions to the Cowboys over the past two decades, but it has become painfully clear that we just don't share the same priorities," Cowboys public relations director Richard Dalrymple said. "This wasn't an easy choice to make, but we're confident it is a decision that can only make our team better."
http://www.onionsportsnetwork.com/articles/dallas-cowboys-release-jerry-jones,2815/

:barman:

FirstTexansFan
01-02-2012, 07:18 PM
MSR?? Come on Hook'em, don't limit my rights to rep a man that deserves it! :)

ArlingtonTexan
01-02-2012, 07:23 PM
Uhmmm, no. He is to stay his rear there as long as every time I buy toilet paper a percentage goes that stadium.

hookinreds
01-03-2012, 01:11 AM
Uhmmm, no. He is to stay his rear there as long as every time I buy toilet paper a percentage goes that stadium.

Is that the used or unused percentage of your toilet paper?

ObsiWan
01-03-2012, 02:38 AM
MSR?? Come on Hook'em, don't limit my rights to rep a man that deserves it! :)

I got him.
That was priceless.
:barman:

SheTexan
01-03-2012, 07:35 AM
lol Published in 2009

CloakNNNdagger
01-03-2012, 09:42 AM
lol Published in 2009


As priceless and apropo as ever! LOL!

jaayteetx
01-03-2012, 11:18 AM
I heard the Bengals or Raiders might pick him up off the waiver wire.

ArlingtonTexan
01-03-2012, 11:21 AM
Is that the used or unused percentage of your toilet paper?

used.

Dread-Head
01-03-2012, 12:04 PM
Took the muff-huggas long enough.

iLoveTexans
01-03-2012, 01:02 PM
Lol it's a joke. There website is 'TheOnion' where they post fake news based on real life stuff to make people think its real. Basically its a parody news website.

Señor Stan
01-03-2012, 02:00 PM
lol Published in 2009

to be republished in

2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020....

Playoffs
01-03-2012, 06:34 PM
New roof proposed for the Jerruh Dome, a.k.a. Cowboys Stadium:

https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/392274_10150454201082844_613792843_8840160_1689815 798_n.jpg

Playoffs
01-04-2012, 10:31 AM
Sad Jerry Jones radio interview -- he's really sounding bad here:

http://www.theunticket.com/wp-content/uploads/media/1312/fake-jerry-1-3-12.mp3

paycheck71
01-04-2012, 05:34 PM
Sad Jerry Jones radio interview -- he's really sounding bad here:

http://www.theunticket.com/wp-content/uploads/media/1312/fake-jerry-1-3-12.mp3

On a more serious note, but still funny.

http://www.theunticket.com/junior-millers-hso-about-jerry-jones/

When I lived in Dallas, this was the conversation in some way every year. I think everyone up there has realized by now that Jerry is there to stay and make the decisions, but it has to be so difficult to accept about your team. :)

ArlingtonTexan
01-04-2012, 07:40 PM
On a more serious note, but still funny.

http://www.theunticket.com/junior-millers-hso-about-jerry-jones/

When I lived in Dallas, this was the conversation in some way every year. I think everyone up there has realized by now that Jerry is there to stay and make the decisions, but it has to be so difficult to accept about your team. :)

As good as the fake jerry Jones it was better when they did the fake Wade with him. The fake Jason Garrett is quality also.

paycheck71
01-04-2012, 08:13 PM
As good as the fake jerry Jones it was better when they did the fake Wade with him. The fake Jason Garrett is quality also.

Fake Wade and Jerry together were great! Fake Garrett is spot on! Every time I hear Garrett speak, he sounds just like Gordo's version. I have a feeling if the Texans do anything in the playoffs, fake Wade may make a return appearance on the little Ticket. :)

GP
01-05-2012, 01:51 AM
On a more serious note, but still funny.

http://www.theunticket.com/junior-millers-hso-about-jerry-jones/

When I lived in Dallas, this was the conversation in some way every year. I think everyone up there has realized by now that Jerry is there to stay and make the decisions, but it has to be so difficult to accept about your team. :)

LOL.

My favorite little quote from Fake Jerry Jones:

"Our football team avoids physical contact like Star Jones' gay husband...."

ObsiWan
01-05-2012, 02:08 AM
LOL.

My favorite little quote from Fake Jerry Jones:

"Our football team avoids physical contact like Star Jones' gay husband...."

From the Halloween party


http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSoydth25T8hh1ehEr7kP4tlRyY2cHNA 71OntULO4hgM4R0aU9x4ghttp://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQM9wM30lBYsV1e4-QZ6eH75pQWtgUE1mcsdgsfVXx-OspoNgy6

I don't know why I never noticed the resemblance before...

paycheck71
01-10-2012, 01:37 PM
I have a feeling if the Texans do anything in the playoffs, fake Wade may make a return appearance on the little Ticket. :)

Told you. :)

http://www.theunticket.com/fake-jerry-takes-calls/

Playoffs
01-10-2012, 02:53 PM
Told you. :)

http://www.theunticket.com/fake-jerry-takes-calls/

Classic!