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View Full Version : Skip Bayless is an id!ot


Playoffs
01-06-2011, 01:03 PM
1) Matt Schaub no good, so

2) VY to Texans -- will make Texans a winner

3) Dumping VY biggest mistake in history of Titans/Oilers franchise


http://www.cultureblues.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/vince_young.jpg

Corrosion
01-06-2011, 01:09 PM
We already knew Skip Clueless was just an !d!0t with a big mouth ....


As for Schaub not being any good - He has his flaws but usually plays within his limitations. The guy is one of only 6 QB's (I believe he's the 6th) in NFL history to throw for 9,000 yards over a two season span? Cant be no good and do things so few others have accomplished.

If I had one complaint about Schaub it would be his inability to deliver an accurate deep ball.

DerekLee1
01-06-2011, 01:09 PM
1) Matt Schaub no good, so

2) VY to Texans -- will make Texans a winner

3) Dumping VY biggest mistake in history of Titans/Oilers franchise[/IMG]

He said this?!? Where?

HuttoKarl
01-06-2011, 01:11 PM
You didn't even have to post anything after "id!ot"....I believed you.

Yankee_In_TX
01-06-2011, 01:11 PM
1) Matt Schaub no good, so

2) VY to Texans -- will make Texans a winner

3) Dumping VY biggest mistake in history of Titans/Oilers franchise


http://www.cultureblues.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/vince_young.jpg

I saw that. I truly believe he says crap to stir the pot.

DonnyMost
01-06-2011, 01:12 PM
Nice to know that Skip Bayless' is still employed as ESPN's in-house poop smearer.

HuttoKarl
01-06-2011, 01:12 PM
1) Matt Schaub no good, so

2) VY to Texans -- will make Texans a winner

3) Dumping VY biggest mistake in history of Titans/Oilers franchise


http://www.cultureblues.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/vince_young.jpg

Oh...and I think a Vincepalm icon is direly needed to complete the unholy trinity.

Yankee_In_TX
01-06-2011, 01:12 PM
He said this?!? Where?

On First and Ten, they were discussing places for VY to land.

Yankee_In_TX
01-06-2011, 01:13 PM
Oh...and I think a Vincepalm icon is direly needed to complete the unholy trinity.

Hell yeah!! I was thinking that this morning....

DerekLee1
01-06-2011, 01:14 PM
On First and Ten, they were discussing places for VY to land.

What an *****. VY couldn't hold Schaub's jock.

I predict Oakland, Seattle or SF for Vince. Same potential destinations for Leinart.

BigBull17
01-06-2011, 01:16 PM
He said back in the day that we should draft him. I loath him. ****ing Reggie is better than him, and that is saying very little.

IDEXAN
01-06-2011, 01:18 PM
Is Young free to walk or do the Titans still have a hold on, under contract or in a position where they can demand comp for his release before he can sign with another team ?

DerekLee1
01-06-2011, 01:21 PM
Is Young free to walk or do the Titans still have a hold on, under contract or in a position where they can demand comp for his release before he can sign with another team ?

Under contract until 2012.

infantrycak
01-06-2011, 01:23 PM
Is Young free to walk or do the Titans still have a hold on, under contract or in a position where they can demand comp for his release before he can sign with another team ?

The Titans have zero chance of trading him. He is due a $4.5 mil roster bonus on March 10. He'll be axed before them. Any team that were to trade for him would owe that plus $8.5 mil in salary next season. Not happening. He'll be an UFA soon.

b0ng
01-06-2011, 01:29 PM
The titans torpedoed any trade value he might've held by announcing he wouldn't be back. Now whether they had already called other teams or not before they announced this, I don't know, but that announcement was basically them saying he's about to be cut.

Now, Skip Bayless being an *****. . . well, that's been known for quite awhile now. Maybe HoustonFrog can shed some light on why Skip Bayless is so loved in the DFW area.

DerekLee1
01-06-2011, 01:42 PM
The titans torpedoed any trade value he might've held by announcing he wouldn't be back.

Not necessarily. That's only true if there's only one team interested. If there are multiple teams, they'll each make their pitch. Otherwise, they'll have to risk a bidding war with real dollars.

Brisco_County
01-06-2011, 01:42 PM
I always disliked Bayless for his personality, but now I see that his content has no credibility either.

kiwitexansfan
01-06-2011, 01:44 PM
That is pretty laughable. Schaub is a much better passer and I would suggest leader than Vince in the NFL.

Question is however, Is Vince a better backup QB prospect than Dan-O and Leniart?

Ranger Tom
01-06-2011, 01:47 PM
I think if we want intelligent commentary about the Texans, we'll have to wait for the Onion's Sports Dome to come on the air.

Showtime100
01-06-2011, 01:56 PM
Now the guy is saying Michael Irvin was better than Jerry Rice. :facepalm:

Basically saying Jerry Rice just showed up, did his job, and with no leadership ability. I guess hookers, cocain, and being unfaithful = leadership ability.

Playoffs
01-06-2011, 01:58 PM
He said this?!? Where?
ESPN today.

b0ng
01-06-2011, 01:58 PM
Not necessarily. That's only true if there's only one team interested. If there are multiple teams, they'll each make their pitch. Otherwise, they'll have to risk a bidding war with real dollars.

The idea of a bidding war happening over Vince Young is so laughable I don't know what to think. I literally have tears streaming down my eyes thinking about different NFL GM's running to Tennessee throwing draft picks, players, and money around trying to procure the services of the best sausage salesman from Madison.

DerekLee1
01-06-2011, 01:58 PM
That is pretty laughable. Schaub is a much better passer and I would suggest leader than Vince in the NFL.

Question is however, Is Vince a better backup QB prospect than Dan-O and Leniart?

For the Texans? No. In another post, I mentioned that Seneca Wallace, Matt Hasselbeck, Matt Moore, Rex Grossman, Tyler Thigpien, and Alex Smith will ALL be available. I'd take any of those guys as a backup over VY or Dan-O. Chances are, Leinart will be looking for a starting gig, but I think the others would be thrilled to come in as a backup in Kubiak's system.

dc_txtech
01-06-2011, 01:58 PM
The titans torpedoed any trade value he might've held by announcing he wouldn't be back.

I gotta agree with Infantrycak here, the guy never had any trade value.

The Titans have zero chance of trading him. He is due a $4.5 mil roster bonus on March 10. He'll be axed before them. Any team that were to trade for him would owe that plus $8.5 mil in salary next season. Not happening. He'll be an UFA soon.

DerekLee1
01-06-2011, 02:02 PM
The idea of a bidding war happening over Vince Young is so laughable I don't know what to think. I literally have tears streaming down my eyes thinking about different NFL GM's running to Tennessee throwing draft picks, players, and money around trying to procure the services of the best sausage salesman from Madison.

I didn't say they WOULD. Just laying out the scenario that unless it was only ONE team interested in Vince, announcing his departure didn't hurt any trade value (if any) that he had initially. It was intended to be hypothetical. :kitten:

Playoffs
01-06-2011, 02:08 PM
Question is however, Is Vince a better backup QB prospect than Dan-O and Leniart?I dunno. VY doesn't study and freelances. I don't want a QB that thinks he's smarter than my OC and acts on that mistaken belief in a game.

False Start
01-06-2011, 02:13 PM
Bayless is an asshat all the way around. This just puts him over the top. If the Texans did sign VY, I would jump off a bridge.... :mariopalm:

b0ng
01-06-2011, 02:14 PM
I didn't say they WOULD. Just laying out the scenario that unless it was only ONE team interested in Vince, announcing his departure didn't hurt any trade value (if any) that he had initially. It was intended to be hypothetical. :kitten:

No really though, you used the words "Vince Young" and "bidding war" in the same sentence. I didn't even think that would be possible unless discussing extreme polar opposites like hot and cold, or Rosie O'Donnell and boners.

Corrosion
01-06-2011, 02:15 PM
Bayless is an asshat all the way around. This just puts him over the top. If the Texans did sign VY, I would jump off a bridge.... :mariopalm:

VY couldnt hold a clip board for Schaub .... He's gonna have to find someone else to play hide the sausage with now that Buck Fud has had enough of his antics. :hobie:

False Start
01-06-2011, 02:17 PM
VY couldnt hold a clip board for Schaub .... He's gonna have to find someone else to play hide the sausage with now that Buck Fud has had enough of his antics. :hobie:

:lol:

Dash
01-06-2011, 02:32 PM
How can you guys hate Skip Bayless? The man is hilarious.

Corrosion
01-06-2011, 02:40 PM
How can you guys hate Skip Bayless? The man is hilarious.

The same way I can hate Stephen A Smith's loud mouth ass .... Dude thinks his tone of voice changes opinion into fact. :lion:

Hookem Horns
01-06-2011, 02:55 PM
Oh...and I think a Vincepalm icon is direly needed to complete the unholy trinity.

:vincepalm: :wadepalm: :kubepalm: :toropalm: :mariopalm:

b0ng
01-06-2011, 03:03 PM
:vincepalm: :wadepalm: :kubepalm: :toropalm: :mariopalm:

just going to quote this.

EDIT: forever.

Double Barrel
01-06-2011, 03:05 PM
People that dog Schaub just reveal the depth of their ignorance.

hookinreds
01-06-2011, 03:08 PM
1) Matt Schaub no good, so

2) VY to Texans -- will make Texans a winner

3) Dumping VY biggest mistake in history of Titans/Oilers franchise


http://www.cultureblues.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/vince_young.jpg

You had me at "id!ot".

Ole Miss Texan
01-06-2011, 03:11 PM
Oh Skip...

I think VY's contract make him hard to move. I don't think teams will get in a "bidding war" for VY but the thing about a trade (7th round pick) is that you get that player. Once he gets cut, you're competing against 30 other teams hypothetically. That's not just teams offering money... but VY actually deciding which of the teams he wants to go to. I just don't think any team is going to want to pay him that money... could restructure it with a L/T contract I guess. But that would be putting a lot of faith that he's your franchise QB

hookinreds
01-06-2011, 03:16 PM
Al Davis will pick him up to run a zone read with McFadden.

The1ApplePie
01-06-2011, 03:28 PM
People that dog Schaub just reveal the depth of their ignorance.

I kind of consider Matt the white Daunte Culpepper, which isn't necessarily a bad thing (as long as he has the best WR in the game to throw to).

But yeah, VY is not even close to his level

Texan4Ever
01-06-2011, 03:31 PM
Sorry for being a jerk but I'm glad VY proved how overrated he was. To all those people at UT who told me taking Mario was mistake, f--k yall! Skip obviously doesn't watch the Texans otherwise he would know how lethal the play-action pass to AJ is.

Errant Hothy
01-06-2011, 03:35 PM
ESPN, and Skip Bayless, thank you for talking about them; which is exactly what they wanted to happen.

Bayless is no longer a reporter, he's an opinion machine; and as such he is more likely to give an opinion that generates conflict then one that does not.

Y'all all know this...right?

Dutchrudder
01-06-2011, 03:37 PM
What an *****. VY couldn't hold Schaub's jock.

I predict Oakland, Seattle or SF for Vince. Same potential destinations for Leinart.

I'm sure he wouldn't mind doing it though.... :hobie:

The1ApplePie
01-06-2011, 03:37 PM
So, out of the top 5 of that draft, only D'Brick has consistently lived up to the hype?

Dutchrudder
01-06-2011, 03:38 PM
ESPN, and Skip Bayless, tyhank you for talking about them; which is exactly what they wanted to happen.

Bayless is no longer a reporter, he's an opinion machine; and as such he is more likely to give an opinion that generates conflict then one that does not.

Y'all all know this...right?

Yeah, Skip Bayless is to ESPN as Richard Justice is to the Houston Chronicle.

HOU-TEX
01-06-2011, 03:41 PM
Meh, I'd blow a crippled coon before watching espn shows. If it's not the espn news channel or a game, I ain't watchin it. All of them are blowholes

HuttoKarl
01-06-2011, 04:09 PM
:vincepalm: :wadepalm: :kubepalm: :toropalm: :mariopalm:

That's beautiful!

b0ng
01-06-2011, 04:14 PM
So, out of the top 5 of that draft, only D'Brick has consistently lived up to the hype?

No, Fergesun has had his warts as well and the organization wasn't exactly thrilled with him up until Rex got there. I'd say Mario and Vernon Davis have been the best picks in the top 10 so far for that draft.

EDIT: And D'Brick.

GuerillaBlack
01-06-2011, 06:31 PM
He also said after the win against the Colts in week one that the Texans were pretenders. Guess he was right.

Corrosion
01-06-2011, 09:17 PM
He also said after the win against the Colts in week one that the Texans were pretenders. Guess he was right.

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. :chickendance:

Texecutioner
01-06-2011, 09:27 PM
I saw that. I truly believe he says crap to stir the pot.

That's exactly what he does. It's exactly why I stopped watching any ESPN shows other than regular news that I have to watch on that network years ago. ESPN is nothing but a drama network surrounding sports. They get guys like Skip, Marriotti, and a few others to run their mouths and argue with each other with different opinions to fill space. I don't believe that Skip believes even a quarter of the opinions he claims to have on those shows. He just plays the antagonist role and the controversial opinion to have differing views than the other guy or the majority. It's a clown mentality at ESPN and the more people watch that stupid network the worse it surely will get. ESPN's been a joke for years.

mussop
01-06-2011, 10:48 PM
That's exactly what he does. It's exactly why I stopped watching any ESPN shows other than regular news that I have to watch on that network years ago. ESPN is nothing but a drama network surrounding sports. They get guys like Skip, Marriotti, and a few others to run their mouths and argue with each other with different opinions to fill space. I don't believe that Skip believes even a quarter of the opinions he claims to have on those shows. He just plays the antagonist role and the controversial opinion to have differing views than the other guy or the majority. It's a clown mentality at ESPN and the more people watch that stupid network the worse it surely will get. ESPN's been a joke for years.

yep he's paid to be an *****.

GuerillaBlack
01-06-2011, 10:55 PM
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. :chickendance:

True story.

Playoffs
01-07-2011, 12:16 AM
Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in a while. :chickendance:
blind squirrel = ESPN
nut = Bayless

?

Corrosion
01-07-2011, 12:27 AM
blind squirrel = ESPN
nut = Bayless

?

Blind Squirrel = Buck Fud

Nut = VY :hobie:



Who's VY gonna play hide the :hobie: with now ?

Jrod7451
01-07-2011, 01:21 AM
I am so glad you said that schaub doesn't throw the deep ball good. Especially over the middle to A.J. If he would hit Dre' on the run than he would have more touchdowns, but instead he has to slow down some to catch the ball which forces him to try to shake off a guy who is now in tackle range after he just torched the guy on his break.
Heres a clip of his highlight in 2010 that i got off of youtube.com. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ44aphKGOc
At a bought a minute in you start to see some of Schaub's bad throws. But he did have some good one's in their. That was a hell of a season for both of the.

Dread-Head
01-07-2011, 10:41 AM
...well...yeah. He was an imbecile when he was playing. :spin:

HoustonFrog
01-07-2011, 10:53 AM
Skip Bayless and Richard Justice are one in the same. Sadly, sports reporting for many has turned into a contest of who can rile up the most people by saying the most inane things. Sad really that sports media has gone this route for SOME.(emphasized so as not to generalize with those who take the job seriously)

Playoffs
10-26-2011, 12:25 PM
Two gems today...

Tim Tebow is the best 4th quarter QB in the NFL.

Terrell Owens has more fans than Tim Tebow.

Errr .... huh?

:hobie:

Ole Miss Texan
10-26-2011, 12:37 PM
The dude needs medication... and lots of it.

midway
10-26-2011, 12:45 PM
Holy necropost batman!

I wonder if Bayless would still say this today though?

Norg
10-26-2011, 12:54 PM
I think VY in houston would of got us more wins ill say thats for sure ive always said that

and we would of deff seen the playoffs twice already

TdotTexas2Step
10-26-2011, 12:59 PM
VY is a loser. But boy would a QB with scrambling abilities make our run game/bootlegs even more deadly.

Brisco_County
10-26-2011, 02:05 PM
While I'm always down for hating on Skip Bayless, resurrecting ancient threads is becoming a very annoying trend.

rush2112mn
10-26-2011, 03:03 PM
BSPN pays him to give his "personal" views on topics..
I really think it is all for entertainment value....he does it to get a rise out of people...in this case Titan.... Texan fans.....I could really care less what he has to think......

ChampionTexan
10-26-2011, 03:11 PM
BSPN pays him to give his "personal" views on topics..
I really think it is all for entertainment value....he does it to get a rise out of people...in this case Titan.... Texan fans.....I could really care less what he has to think......

You couldn't possibly be saying that this very thread is an example of him getting viewers/listeners to do exactly what he wants them to do could you?

:sarcasm:

michaelm
10-26-2011, 03:23 PM
While I'm always down for hating on Skip Bayless, resurrecting ancient threads is becoming a very annoying trend.


Some might say that it's more annoying when people click on threads that annoy them just to inform people how annoying it is...

Don't like = don't click, IMO.

The Pencil Neck
10-26-2011, 03:34 PM
Some might say that it's more annoying when people click on threads that annoy them just to inform people how annoying it is...

Don't like = don't click, IMO.

But you frequently don't know it's a resurrection until you click it.

Which is what can get irritating about it.

michaelm
10-26-2011, 04:13 PM
But you frequently don't know it's a resurrection until you click it.

Which is what can get irritating about it.

Yep, I though about that after I posted.
Resurrected threads happen, however. You really can't tell someone not to respond to a thread they are interested in, based solely on the when the last response was made.

Double edged sword... on a lot of forums, you'll get a ton of flack for not doing a search before asking a question that has been asked before. You can dredge up some old threads making sure that you search before starting a redundant thread...

Double Barrel
10-26-2011, 04:25 PM
Redundant thread in Texans Talk?! NEVER!!!

Man, if we lumped all the Kubiak hate threads together, it would The Thread To End All Threads and crash the internets!

Showtime100
10-26-2011, 06:29 PM
Learn something everyday, I guess. I alweays thought it was the right thing to do by resurrecting a thread than to start a new one.

*throws the search buttom out the window* :D

Carr Bombed
10-26-2011, 07:21 PM
VY is a loser. But boy would a QB with scrambling abilities make our run game/bootlegs even more deadly.

Since when did VY get "scrambling abilities"...outside of his run in OT against Houston, that was a part of his game that never really carried over from college....#1 reason why he was a NFL bust. He would make a good play once in a blue moon with his feet, but was never consistent with his running abilities and it was never a real weapon in his game.

TxnsFootball
10-26-2011, 08:39 PM
Haha Yea, cause Skip Bayless is the one we go to for the most accurate football info...sike...

Texan_Bill
10-26-2011, 08:43 PM
I think Rick Bayless is brilliant.....











As an outstanding chef.

*Let's see how many people get that besides 'CAK and a handfull of others*

The Pencil Neck
10-26-2011, 08:46 PM
I think Rick Bayless is brilliant.....











As an outstanding chef.

*Let's see how many people get that besides 'CAK and a handfull of others*

It amazes me those two guys are brothers.

Texan_Bill
10-26-2011, 08:55 PM
It amazes me those two guys are brothers.

Yessir and thank you!! I kinda figured you'd be in that "handfull"!

BTW, Bryan Caswell (@Wholefish on twitter) just got cut from, The next Iron Chef (although, technically that was from last season). I highly recommend "Reef" however I digress....

Back on track.... Skip Bayless is an Asshat!!

houstonspartan
10-26-2011, 09:11 PM
Bayliss and Caswell are brothers?

I think Reef is ok. Slightly overrated, but not bad.

Playoffs
12-16-2011, 12:25 PM
Skip Bayless: "Tim Tebow is approaching John Elway..." --- 12/16/2011

Bayless & ESPN are now official cheerleaders as Skippy takes his #SkipsTebowBandwagon organization to Denver to be with true Tebow crushers. Welcome to WWF, ESPN.

Aikman: "I’m Not So Sure Skip’s Not Gay" (http://deadspin.com/5836361/15-years-after-skip-bayless-said-troy-aikman-might-be-gay-aikman-fires-back-with-im-not-so-sure-skips-not-gay)

Bayless to tour talk shows as self-proclaimed #1 Tebow fan.

Bayless to attend Grammys and launch his first rap album.


It is always wrong when the media attempts to attain celebrity on the coattails of athletes. ESPN is officially now a joke -- bring on Vince McMahon. :mariopalm:

hookinreds
12-16-2011, 12:29 PM
...and you continue to listen/read anything once Skip Bayless's name is mentioned because...????

thunderkyss
12-16-2011, 08:38 PM
I heard on the Drive (espn 97.5) that season ticket holders are threatening not to renew without assurances that Tebow will be the starting QB for 2012.

.

Yankee_In_TX
12-16-2011, 10:10 PM
I heard on the Drive (espn 97.5) that season ticket holders are threatening not to renew without assurances that Tebow will be the starting QB for 2012.

.

Just like all those season ticket holders who didn't renew when Smithiak was back for 2011?

Playoffs
12-16-2011, 10:13 PM
...and you continue to listen/read anything once Skip Bayless's name is mentioned because...????I'm a sports fan. And sometimes I tune into this cable sports channel called E-S-P-N to find out what's happening in sports. Today, for instance, all of the channels were running Skip Bayless rotations. Kind of difficult to avoid it.

Wolf
12-16-2011, 10:25 PM
I'm a sports fan. And sometimes I tune into this cable sports channel called B-S-P-N or E-S-P-i N to find out what's happening in sports. Today, for instance, all of the channels were running Skip Bayless rotations. Kind of difficult to avoid it.

fixed it for ya :D

CloakNNNdagger
12-16-2011, 10:48 PM
Skip Bayless: "Tim Tebow is approaching John Elway..." --- 12/16/2011

Bayless & ESPN are now official cheerleaders as Skippy takes his #SkipsTebowBandwagon organization to Denver to be with true Tebow crushers. Welcome to WWF, ESPN.

Aikman: "I’m Not So Sure Skip’s Not Gay" (http://deadspin.com/5836361/15-years-after-skip-bayless-said-troy-aikman-might-be-gay-aikman-fires-back-with-im-not-so-sure-skips-not-gay)

Bayless to tour talk shows as self-proclaimed #1 Tebow fan.

Bayless to attend Grammys and launch his first rap album.




It is always wrong when the media attempts to attain celebrity on the coattails of athletes. ESPN is officially now a joke -- bring on Vince McMahon. :mariopalm:


GET YOUR TEBOW HEAD NOW! VIDEO (http://www.funnyjunk.com/youtube/3000311/Tim+Tebow+parody+LMFAO+omg/)

gtexan02
12-16-2011, 10:56 PM
Broncos are in 1st and have won 7 in a row and fans are threatening boycott? Give me a break

Fred
12-16-2011, 11:00 PM
While I'm always down for hating on Skip Bayless, resurrecting ancient threads is becoming a very annoying trend.

But if people didn't resurrect old threads then every football message board in the country would have 365 "Skip Bayless is an id!ot" threads every year.

Playoffs
02-26-2014, 11:31 AM
Cancer Diagnosed With Skip Bayless (http://www.theonion.com/articles/cancer-diagnosed-with-skip-bayless,35368/)
NEW YORK—Saying that nobody deserves to endure such an atrocious fate, doctors at Mount Sinai Medical Center announced at a press conference Tuesday that they had diagnosed cancer with stage IV Skip Bayless.

Surgical oncologist Dr. Andrew Bergman confirmed that Skip Bayless, one of the most dreaded and abhorrent diseases known to mankind, had metastasized, spreading throughout the malignant neoplasm and causing excruciating pain in the cancerous tissue.

“Realistically, cancer has little hope for survival with Skip Bayless this bad,” said Bergman, predicting that cancer will suffer severe agony brought on by the vociferous affliction that cuts off anyone in its path. “Based upon my professional experience, I’d say Skip Bayless is just about the worst thing you could have to deal with.”

“I wouldn’t wish Skip Bayless on my worst enemy,” Bergman solemnly continued.

According to Bergman’s prognosis, cancer will likely experience fatigue and nausea from Skip Bayless aggressively and rapidly spreading its inane remarks, noting that patients typically report severe shortness of breath as they become more exasperated with the cantankerous growth’s refusal to see logic.

Bergman told reporters that the cancer would continue to waste away, shriveling to a shell of its former self, until it eventually shuts down completely in reaction to the overwhelming smugness of Skip Bayless.

The oncologist confirmed that most Skip Bayless victims usually contract the despicable ailment within the first 15 minutes of televised segments.

“Unfortunately right now there is no cure for Skip Bayless,” said Bergman, adding that while early detection offers some hope for treatment, at this stage nearly 95 percent of patients will lose their battle with the self-satisfied disease. “It resists nearly everything we throw at it. It just continues to attack relentlessly without listening to a single thing. It pains me to say that fighting it is a completely futile effort.” 


“All we can do now is make the cancer as comfortable as possible and allow Skip Bayless to run its course,” Bergman continued.

According to Bergman, regular screenings for Skip Bayless are imperative, both through medical scans as well as routine self-checks at home. Bergman said that early warning signs of the highly virulent commentator include persistent headaches, loss of appetite, and abnormal bumps in ratings.

Bergman also stressed the importance of preventative care, stating that the incidence of Skip Bayless skyrockets amongst those who begin discussing the value of NBA power forward Kevin Durant or anyone who leaves ESPN on from 10 a.m. until noon.

“It tests your faith, even as a doctor, to see cancer saddled with something horrible like Skip Bayless,” said Bergman, reflecting on the anguish of those who must watch cancer struggle in vain as it attempts to cling to life, knowing they can do nothing to help. “People are always looking for a reason. They find themselves wondering how God could allow such a vicious thing like Skip Bayless to exist in this world.”

“All we can say is that Skip Bayless is something we wish modern medicine could have eradicated from society years ago,” added the oncologist.

BullNation4Life
02-26-2014, 11:36 AM
Cancer Diagnosed With Skip Bayless (http://www.theonion.com/articles/cancer-diagnosed-with-skip-bayless,35368/)

Damn you Playoffs! I was reading this, started feeling bad for Skip Bayless and then realized I should be feeling sorry for the cancer...

Curse you for making me feel anything for that ginormous douche monkey...:bravo:

b0ng
02-27-2014, 12:23 PM
Cancer Diagnosed With Skip Bayless (http://www.theonion.com/articles/cancer-diagnosed-with-skip-bayless,35368/)

I like the onion when you can't tell its a satire just from the headline.

Dread-Head
02-27-2014, 12:56 PM
Bayless is an Idiot. Other revelations for those who may be outside of the loop:

Cak is a Lawyer

Joe-Texan is a tad Outspoken

Thorn is a curmudgeon

Red-Zone & Corrosion: are libertarian

She Texan is a retired nurse.

Illinijen is a redhead

Vinny: is Amerasian

TedC is a contractor

Diapher is a tall, curvy blonde

Gary is a playa

Samurai Texan Lives in the Tokyo metropolitan area

Yvette is Native American and very proud of that fact.

Star-Struck is a Cowboy fan, a woman of a certain age...and a teacher.

I enjoy the company of brainy, voluptuous types and would love to be the meat in a sandwich using a redhead and an Asian chick of the aforementioned description.

&

Bill enjoys "adult" beverages and entertainment

:thinking: ...and I think Brakos and PapaL (whom I occasionally cal Papal) are the same guy...but I'm not sure.

mussop
02-28-2014, 01:23 PM
I wasn't aware this was ever in question.