PDA

View Full Version : Time to get serious: nicknames


SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 04:54 PM
I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:

http://imgur.com/edybV.jpg

http://imgur.com/Bw7Ec.jpg

http://imgur.com/Tr5GD.jpg

It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?

Hervoyel
10-07-2010, 05:13 PM
.... It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?


:mcnugget:

:cricket: :cricket:

Texanmike02
10-07-2010, 05:17 PM
I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:

http://imgur.com/edybV.jpg

http://imgur.com/Bw7Ec.jpg

http://imgur.com/Tr5GD.jpg

It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?

signed,
Srsly "I should stick to putting nicknames on jerseys and avoid coming up with nicknames" Sirius

jaayteetx
10-07-2010, 05:20 PM
Your f*&^ing with us.....right?

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 05:27 PM
Your f*&^ing with us.....right?

Maybe.

brakos82
10-07-2010, 05:41 PM
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb23/brakos82/schaub-hmmm.jpg

SheTexan
10-07-2010, 05:50 PM
Hummmmm! I think POLLARD, FOSTER, and SCHAUB are just fine with me!

Some of the TEXANS finest don't need nicknames! What they do on the field speaks volumns, and is all that matters. JMO!!:)

Showtime100
10-07-2010, 05:54 PM
Hummmmm! I think POLLARD, FOSTER, and SCHAUB are just fine with me!

Some of the TEXANS finest don't need nicknames! What they do on the field speaks volumns, and is all that matters. JMO!!:)

Same here. Besides, nicknames find players and not the other way around. Just ask Sage Rosencopt......I mean Sage Rosenfels.

ChampionTexan
10-07-2010, 05:55 PM
Maybe.

http://agentgenius.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/seriously-shut-up.jpg
:lion:

Thorn
10-07-2010, 05:55 PM
I'm thinking putting "Pee Pee" on the back of Pollard's uniform would so enrage him, it would seriously endanger the lives of anyone not wearing a Texans uniform. LOL

Texecutioner
10-07-2010, 05:57 PM
:wadepalm::wadepalm::wadepalm: at these suggestions for nicknames.

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 05:59 PM
http://agentgenius.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/seriously-shut-up.jpg
:lion:

http://ragecomic.appspot.com/packs/troll/images/SadTroll.png

TexansBull
10-07-2010, 06:07 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

I just want to thank you for making me feel a little better about my thread about naming Reliant Stadium The Octagon to relate it to The House of Pain. My idea was near as worse as these.

Also, blame 610. They have been on a nicknaming freenzy in the mornings.

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 06:09 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hfYJsQAhl0

I just want to thank you for making me feel a little better about my thread about naming Reliant Stadium The Octagon to relate it to The House of Pain. My idea was near as worse as these.

Also, blame 610. They have been on a nicknaming freenzy in the mornings.

I hate that this needs explaining, but that was pretty much the point I was trying to make with this thread.

AnthonyE
10-07-2010, 06:23 PM
http://ragecomic.appspot.com/packs/troll/images/SadTroll.png

I think I just found my new favorite poster. Welcome aboard.

Anyone who posts sad troll face is a-ok in my book.

Besides, I thought this post was pretty amazing.

Errant Hothy
10-07-2010, 06:40 PM
I think I just found my new favorite poster. Welcome aboard.

Anyone who posts sad troll face is a-ok in my book.

Besides, I thought this post was pretty amazing.

I'll second this.

:bravo: SrslySirius :bravo:

stingray
10-07-2010, 06:45 PM
How bout Arian "Plato" Foster. Since he's such a philosopher and all.

Showtime100
10-07-2010, 06:49 PM
How bout Arian "Plato" Foster. Since he's such a philosopher and all.

Lol. Maybe Arian "Bueller" Foster.

A scene from the movie: Team meeting, actor Ben Stein, "Foster..........Foster..........Foster......."

ArlingtonTexan
10-07-2010, 06:53 PM
The best nicknames are the ones that just happen. Relax and let the name come to us when it is time a really good one will appear.

stingray
10-07-2010, 06:55 PM
Lol. Maybe Arian "Bueller" Foster.

A scene from the movie: Team meeting, actor Ben Stein, "Foster..........Foster..........Foster......."

Hahaha.. That's a good one.

Lucky
10-07-2010, 07:04 PM
Arian will always be "Where's" Foster, to me.

I thought Pollard's nickname was "Bonecrusher"?

I thinking "Don't call me Schwab", would be OK to use around Matt. Then again, maybe that's not a real good idea.

TexansBull
10-07-2010, 07:09 PM
Maybe this belongs here. I put this in another thread.

And in the notorious week of nicknaming stuff, here is wikipedia's list of NFL nicknames:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NFL_nicknames (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_NFL_nicknames)
I dont see the Bull Pen listed

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuesday...Team_Nicknames (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tuesday_Morning_Quarterback#.22TMQ.22_Team_Nicknam es)
but I do see we have the nickname of "The Moo Cows..." didnt know that.

Someone should put the Texans' nicknames there, atleast Bonecrusher and Rosencopter.

Lucky
10-07-2010, 07:14 PM
but I do see we have the nickname of "The Moo Cows..." didnt know that.

I think Gregg Easterbrook of Tuesday Morning Quarterback fame annointed the Texans as the Moo Cows. He gave the Titans the moniker "Flaming Thumbtacks". I still prefer the Possums.

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 07:18 PM
How bout Arian "Plato" Foster. Since he's such a philosopher and all.

http://imgur.com/EnVYX.jpg

http://imgur.com/Ps2de.jpg

JB
10-07-2010, 07:26 PM
:confused: "doesnt afraid of anything"???


:dontknowa

brakos82
10-07-2010, 07:55 PM
:confused: "doesnt afraid of anything"???


:dontknowa
You forgot "Eh".... didn't know black canadians existed. :lol:

C Madd
10-07-2010, 07:59 PM
A+ posting, whoever you are. :D

texanhead08
10-07-2010, 08:07 PM
I think Gregg Easterbrook of Tuesday Morning Quarterback fame annointed the Texans as the Moo Cows. He gave the Titans the moniker "Flaming Thumbtacks". I still prefer the Possums.

I prefer to call them the Traitors.

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 08:23 PM
:confused: "doesnt afraid of anything"???


:dontknowa

You forgot "Eh".... didn't know black canadians existed. :lol:

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pretty-cool-guy

JB
10-07-2010, 08:28 PM
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pretty-cool-guy

so is a "meme" the youngster talk for " I am stupid and can't spell or use proper english"?

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 08:46 PM
so is a "meme" the youngster talk for " I am stupid and can't spell or use proper english"?

No. A meme is a type of joke. It starts with a simple concept, then spawns a lot of spinoffs and permutations. The origin of this particular meme was someone on another message board using poor grammar and English in a humorous fashion. A lot of people thought it was funny and made parodies of it.

I'll forgive your hostility and just point to the OP where I think I clearly demonstrated my ability to use proper English.

Texan_Bill
10-07-2010, 08:58 PM
so is a "meme" the youngster talk for " I am stupid and can't spell or use proper english"?

FAIL, old man!! Meme is, well let me give you an example that you might remember: Rick Rolled.

JB
10-07-2010, 09:01 PM
No. A meme is a type of joke. It starts with a simple concept, then spawns a lot of spinoffs and permutations. The origin of this particular meme was someone on another message board using poor grammar and English in a humorous fashion. A lot of people thought it was funny and made parodies of it.

I'll forgive your hostility and just point to the OP where I think I clearly demonstrated my ability to use proper English.

No hostility, I just don't understand the attraction.

JB
10-07-2010, 09:02 PM
FAIL, old man!! Meme is, well let me give you an example that you might remember: Rick Rolled.


That is a major fail! Who takes pleasure in crashing their friends computer?

brakos82
10-07-2010, 09:03 PM
That is a major fail! Who takes pleasure in crashing their friends computer?

:uchicken:

JB
10-07-2010, 09:06 PM
:uchicken:

I have to put up with Vista at work... :choke:

And it is a major pain when it crashes!

brakos82
10-07-2010, 09:07 PM
I have to put up with Vista at work... :choke:

And it is a major pain when it crashes!

:facepalm: Work!

JB
10-07-2010, 09:08 PM
:facepalm: Work!

Yeah, I should probably fire that guy!

Oh wait...

brakos82
10-07-2010, 09:09 PM
Yeah, I should probably fire that guy!

Oh wait...

:facepalm: JB!

JB
10-07-2010, 09:09 PM
:facepalm: JB!

Yeah...


:wadepalm:JB!!!

Texan_Bill
10-07-2010, 09:16 PM
That is a major fail! Who takes pleasure in crashing their friends computer?

Vista!!

brakos82
10-07-2010, 09:17 PM
Yeah...

http://images.chron.com/blogs/fanblogtexans/Loss%20Kubiak%20and%20Schaub.jpg JB!

texans90
10-07-2010, 09:20 PM
I think Arian "the Barbarian" Foster sounds good to me, I always find myself yelling that at the tv when he does something good.

TimeKiller
10-07-2010, 10:49 PM
Someone just bought photoshop....

ChampionTexan
10-07-2010, 11:02 PM
http://erroraccessdenied.com/files/images/270913946_efa38ec3d8.jpg

Topher
10-07-2010, 11:15 PM
http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x31/evilbdayclown/457x457-ASDFHR--SO-MUCH-WIN.jpg

brakos82
10-07-2010, 11:19 PM
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/funny-pictures-cat-has-unraveled-all-your-thread.jpg

Texan_Bill
10-07-2010, 11:20 PM
Vista RULZ!

stingray
10-07-2010, 11:22 PM
I think Arian "the Barbarian" Foster sounds good to me, I always find myself yelling that at the tv when he does something good.

Marion Barber already has that nickname.

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 11:28 PM
Someone just bought photoshop....

http://imgur.com/fLtGQ.jpg

eriadoc
10-07-2010, 11:43 PM
I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:

http://imgur.com/edybV.jpg

http://imgur.com/Bw7Ec.jpg

http://imgur.com/Tr5GD.jpg

It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?

I've missed this post until now, but I have to say, this is about as full of FAIL as you can get, from the terrible nicknames right down to misspelling the QB's name.

SrslySirius
10-07-2010, 11:48 PM
I've missed this post until now, but I have to say, this is about as full of FAIL as you can get, from the terrible nicknames right down to misspelling the QB's name.

Sorry about that. It's fixed now:

http://imgur.com/CUsmv.jpg

brakos82
10-07-2010, 11:58 PM
:wadepalm: Sirius!

http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb23/brakos82/vlcsnap-2010-09-20-14h25m34s75-1.png

SrslySirius
10-08-2010, 12:05 AM
:wadepalm: Sirius!

http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb23/brakos82/vlcsnap-2010-09-20-14h25m34s75-1.png

Shawb?

powerfuldragon
10-08-2010, 12:11 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v15/TheKingOfBums/th_goon.jpg (http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v15/TheKingOfBums/?action=view&current=goon.jpg)

i'll allow it.

b0ng
10-08-2010, 12:11 AM
Shawb?

http://imgur.com/kyqO9.gif

AnthonyE
10-08-2010, 12:48 AM
so is a "meme" the youngster talk for " I am stupid and can't spell or use proper english"?

No hostility, I just don't understand the attraction.

Yeah...


:wadepalm:JB!!!

It's funny how you use a facepalm after saying you didn't understand the "attraction" to memes.

Considering that the :wadepalm: is, in fact, a meme.

brakos82
10-08-2010, 12:50 AM
It's funny how you use a facepalm after saying you didn't understand the "attraction" to memes.

Considering that the :wadepalm: is, in fact, a meme.

Well, it's better than Vista.

Seņor Stan
10-08-2010, 08:21 AM
From the makers of :wadepalm:

:koobpalm:




http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g67/senorstan/koobpalm.jpg?t=1286540361

TimeKiller
10-08-2010, 08:26 AM
Make a rocket with Cushing's head on top of it and have it blow up Eli Manning's face (and use that picture where his head is bleeding like a wrestler that just cut his own forehead)

Big Lou
10-08-2010, 10:29 AM
http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb23/brakos82/schaub-hmmm.jpg



I agree with Brakos......

Big Lou
10-08-2010, 10:31 AM
How bout Arian "Plato" Foster. Since he's such a philosopher and all.

How about Arianstotle!!!!

spurstexanstros
10-08-2010, 12:50 PM
from the Creator of "Open" Daniels I submit

Andre "ManStallion" Johnson

Jacoby "Jace's Pal" Jones (see profile pic)

Kareem "Padewan" Jackson (needs to earn better nickname)

As for Arian there can be no other nickname than "Foster- Texan for touchdown" ( not mine but one of best ever)

Kevin "yeah Im a receiver, you may want to cover me" Walter

David "not Kevin" Anderson

Porky
10-08-2010, 01:21 PM
Seriousely funny thread and post. I'm not sure some people's funny bones are working today. Here's to the Moo Cows! :cow:

Yankee_In_TX
10-08-2010, 01:23 PM
I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?

:wadepalm:

I'm only assuming you're kidding, especially since you threw out Arian Nation.

However, I am FOR banning threads entitled 'what we're going to nickname ____.'

Yankee_In_TX
10-08-2010, 01:24 PM
Yeah...

http://images.chron.com/blogs/fanblogtexans/Loss%20Kubiak%20and%20Schaub.jpg JB!

Why is this not an emoticon somehow? Double Facepalm!

Seņor Stan
10-08-2010, 01:41 PM
Why is this not an emoticon somehow? Double Facepalm!


http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g67/senorstan/tx2xpalm.jpg

Thorn
10-08-2010, 01:45 PM
Seriousely funny thread and post. I'm not sure some people's funny bones are working today. Here's to the Moo Cows! :cow:

I have a posting friend on the Star Trek BBS I visit that is a Titan fan, and she and I have been giving each other grief for years over our teams. She was calling the Texans Moo Cows at least two or three years ago. I think it's kind of funny myself.

Yankee_In_TX
10-08-2010, 01:49 PM
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g67/senorstan/tx2xpalm.jpg

Double faceplam with a towel!

spurstexanstros
10-08-2010, 01:57 PM
Which begs the question which Texans player gets the most facepalms?

brakos82
10-08-2010, 02:22 PM
http://www.blogcdn.com/nfl.fanhouse.com/media/2008/10/rosenfels-anderson.jpg?1223259675125

Showtime100
10-08-2010, 03:39 PM
I have a posting friend on the Star Trek BBS I visit that is a Titan fan, and she and I have been giving each other grief for years over our teams. She was calling the Texans Moo Cows at least two or three years ago. I think it's kind of funny myself.

A Titan fan will always lose the battle when it comes to mascots...lol. Give 'em Hell, Thorn.

rickyb
10-08-2010, 04:41 PM
Boomstick. Haymaker. But Pee-pee? Wow. :slapfight: :kitten:

Maddict5
10-08-2010, 06:49 PM
I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:

http://imgur.com/edybV.jpg

http://imgur.com/Bw7Ec.jpg

http://imgur.com/Tr5GD.jpg

It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?

those all suck..........








except for the last one of course. i predict that will catch before the second quarter of the giants game :choke:

Maddict5
10-08-2010, 06:54 PM
:wadepalm: Sirius!

http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb23/brakos82/vlcsnap-2010-09-20-14h25m34s75-1.png

haha i remember seeing that before the skins OT and thinking oh shit maybe we're not goin to win

also HUGE :clap: to the OP. this is a great thread. im amazed at some peoples lack of 'getting it' though

HouTxFan
10-08-2010, 10:55 PM
I've seen a lot of creative nicknames tossed about recently. It's a great way to show our support and admiration for the players. The problem is that we aren't making them stick. I know a lot of you would prefer to let nicknames develop naturally instead of forcing them, but this is a crucial turning point in the Texans franchise. We need to motivate our players as much as possible right now and fast-track the process.

First we need to arrive at a consensus for the nicknames. I have some excellent suggestions:

Pee Pee Pollard - We all know that Bernard Pollard is always knocking the piss out of opposing players. The nickname Pee Pee will be a constant reminder of this fact, and will strike fear in the hearts of quarterbacks and receivers that dare to cross his path. And when it comes to nicknames, you really can't go wrong with alliteration.

Alternatives: Piss Man, Pampers

Arian Donkey Man Foster - Sadly, "the Beast" is already taken by a certain wide receiver. So I feel that the animal that best personifies Arian is the Donkey. Let's face it: Foster is our workhorse. Slaton and Ward are getting some touches, but for the most part, Foster is carrying the ground game on his back. In Jewish and Christian lore, Jesus Christ himself was often said to ride a donkey. Even in Hindu mythology, the donkey is a vehicle of God Kalaratr. Namaste.

Alternatives: The Donkey, Ass Man, Arian Nation

Matt Really Good at Throwing Footballs Especially Under Intense Pressure Schaub - With Schaub, you really can't be succinct and do him justice. The guy is just... really good at throwing footballs. Especially under intense pressure. What more is there to say? Schaub is awesome.

Alternatives: That Guy Who Rolls Out All the Time and Finds a Receiver Just When You Thought the Play Was Dead

The next step is to commit. If we want these nicknames to stick, we have to start using them religiously. Don't even refer to the players by their real names anymore. Call into the radio shows and ask how Donkey Man is expected to fare against the Giants' front seven. We'll know we did our job when we see Ron Jaworski breaking down the Pee Pee Blitz on Monday night.

But to really drive it home, we need the players themselves to embrace the nicknames. Once they really start catching on, the players can drive it home by legally changing their names:

It's time to get serious, fellas. Let's make this happen. Who's with me?

Made me laugh...thank you! :texflag:

Texan_Bill
10-08-2010, 11:03 PM
We are a cynical people!! :facepalm: :wadepalm:

ObsiWan
10-09-2010, 03:40 PM
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g67/senorstan/tx2xpalm.jpg

That's an excellent question.
If Wade has one then Kubiak and Schaub need one too.

Big Lou
10-14-2010, 06:13 PM
Here are some nick names I came up with for the team:


Defense: "Greatest show on turf", because we make every offense look like the Rams in the Kurt Warner days!!!

Offense: "2005 Houston Texans", well that one needs no explanation......


Also I saw the Kubiak/Schaub face palm, and somebody asked for that. I think what we really need is a Kubiak Denny's Menu Palm....

VTexan
10-15-2010, 02:46 AM
arian the librarian was pretty damn funny

powerfuldragon
10-15-2010, 10:54 AM
arian the librarian was pretty damn funny

it's cumbersome though. i prefer librarian foster.