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mexican_texan
07-27-2010, 10:09 PM
Warning---NSFW

http://mig-skillz.com/journal/2010/7/27/stand-up-comediannfl-player-david-anderson-kills-it-on-stage.html

JB
07-27-2010, 10:19 PM
Warning---NSFW

http://mig-skillz.com/journal/2010/7/27/stand-up-comediannfl-player-david-anderson-kills-it-on-stage.html

Dude was hilarious!

Lucky
07-27-2010, 10:19 PM
I've heard worse comics.

Maybe not.

redwhiteANDblue
07-27-2010, 10:20 PM
Thanks! Never knew he was a funny guy!

JB
07-27-2010, 10:23 PM
I've heard worse comics.

Maybe not.

I thought he was outstanding for his first performance.

mexican_texan
07-27-2010, 10:27 PM
Thanks! Never knew he was a funny guy!

Really?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ9UMwO6-rA

Buffi2
07-27-2010, 10:36 PM
To do stand up for 11 minutes is an accomplishment in and of itself. That can be an eternity for an amateur and sometimes for a pro.

JB
07-27-2010, 10:40 PM
To do stand up for 11 minutes is an accomplishment in and of itself. That can be an eternity for an amateur and sometimes for a pro.

yeah, he was hoping for 5, and carried it for 11. Remarkable!

TexanSam
07-27-2010, 10:42 PM
Damn, that was pretty good!

JB
07-27-2010, 10:44 PM
Damn, that was pretty good!

Yeah! It takes some serious cajones to get up in front of people like that. Of course, you can't hat people like I do and do that.

Lucky
07-27-2010, 10:46 PM
I thought he was outstanding for his first performance.
At least he has the NFL and a Chinese laundromat to fall back on...

Carr Bombed
07-27-2010, 10:48 PM
He did a great job.

JB
07-27-2010, 10:52 PM
At least he has the NFL and a Chinese laundromat to fall back on...

Chinese Laundromat=classic!

El Tejano
07-27-2010, 11:04 PM
I don't care who you are. Noone disses my Texans. Andre Davis just moved up on my depth chart. Go be a comedian....

TexanSam
07-27-2010, 11:11 PM
I don't care who you are. Noone disses my Texans. Andre Davis just moved up on my depth chart. Go be a comedian....

I'm fairly sure it was tongue in cheek. Don't take it too seriously man.

Goldensilence
07-27-2010, 11:41 PM
At least he has the NFL and a Chinese laundromat to fall back on...

If he's not careful it might not be on the Texans roster much longer.

I think Jones and Walter could be neck and neck as the #2 if Jones continues to progress with the "loser" falling back to #3. Davis making the roster isn't guaranteed, so Anderson's going to have to push for that 4th because I think it'd going to be impossible to stash Dickerson away on the PS. That is if the staff is insistent on turning him into a WR. I still think there would be a far amount of teams out there looking to keep him at TE.

Guess it all depends on how many WRs they decide to keep. Going to be an expensive 4th WR at best. I guess I'm hoping as well they decide to keep 6 WRs to tack on Holiday.

TheRealJoker
07-28-2010, 12:07 AM
If he's not careful it might not be on the Texans roster much longer.

I think Jones and Walter could be neck and neck as the #2 if Jones continues to progress with the "loser" falling back to #3. Davis making the roster isn't guaranteed, so Anderson's going to have to push for that 4th because I think it'd going to be impossible to stash Dickerson away on the PS. That is if the staff is insistent on turning him into a WR. I still think there would be a far amount of teams out there looking to keep him at TE.

Guess it all depends on how many WRs they decide to keep. Going to be an expensive 4th WR at best.

DA is our slot WR. He's got that spot locked up.

m5kwatts
07-28-2010, 12:11 AM
If he's not careful it might not be on the Texans roster much longer.

I think Jones and Walter could be neck and neck as the #2 if Jones continues to progress with the "loser" falling back to #3. Davis making the roster isn't guaranteed, so Anderson's going to have to push for that 4th because I think it'd going to be impossible to stash Dickerson away on the PS. That is if the staff is insistent on turning him into a WR. I still think there would be a far amount of teams out there looking to keep him at TE.

Guess it all depends on how many WRs they decide to keep. Going to be an expensive 4th WR at best.

Disagree. They've added to the playbook every year and the offense keeps getting more complex. DA's grasp of the Zebra role in this offense is valuable beyond his statistics. If DA were taken out of the equation they'd have to go back and make up a lot of ground thats already been covered. I'll never forget Kubiak saying he'd teach DA something in the morning and he's running it perfectly by the afternoon. Thats time saved that can be spent on other players, and in the NFL time is of the essence. DA will be running routes out of the slot position for the Texans for many many years, bank on it.

TheRealJoker
07-28-2010, 12:42 AM
As long as DA finds a way to get open on 3rd downs, he's got a spot on this team.

DA was a major reason Schaub was able to continue playing at a high level after OD went down.

Señor Stan
07-28-2010, 06:19 AM
Andre Davis is the one who needs to watch his back. DA isn't going anywhere.

IDEXAN
07-28-2010, 07:12 AM
OK I've been wondering if there was any other reason why Kubiak keeps Anderson around besides being partial to all players from Colorado State, and it turns out Kubiak is also a stand-up comic fan. That would explain his retention on the roster.

BSofA04
07-28-2010, 09:51 AM
DA was pretty funny. Not the best stand-up but definitely entertaining.

TheRealJoker
07-28-2010, 10:14 AM
OK I've been wondering if there was any other reason why Kubiak keeps Anderson around besides being partial to all players from Colorado State, and it turns out Kubiak is also a stand-up comic fan. That would explain his retention on the roster.

I thought it was his knack for 3rd down conversions to keep drives alive?

ATXtexanfan
07-28-2010, 10:52 AM
not bad at all

gtexan02
07-28-2010, 12:56 PM
I really hope Chris Johnson does a routine


As for DA, I thought he was ok. Ive seen a lot of amateur stand up routines that were much better. And many that were much worse. His presence and "character" are great. his jokes could use some better writing

Goldensilence
07-28-2010, 12:58 PM
OK I've been wondering if there was any other reason why Kubiak keeps Anderson around besides being partial to all players from Colorado State, and it turns out Kubiak is also a stand-up comic fan. That would explain his retention on the roster.

Doesn't matter what you say. The DA fanboys will always have his back.

I just wonder if Jones really does press Walter for the #2 and Walter moves to the slot what happens to DA's Reps. Also I do think Davis is in trouble, but what if he has a good camp and steps it up? Who do you slot there at 4? 5? What do you do with Dickerson and Holliday? I like Dickerson's raw physical ability and it's going to be really difficult, I believe at least, to slip him through to the PS. I'd also really hate to lose a guy like Holliday who I believe can be a field changer in SP and killer on screens.

Texan_Bill
07-28-2010, 01:01 PM
Thanks! Never knew he was a funny guy!

C'mon now... Anybody that cuts his hair to mock Matt Schaub has to have a little bit of a funny bone.

http://blogs.chron.com/texanschick/Schaubs-Power-Alleys.jpg

Texan_Bill
07-28-2010, 01:03 PM
OK I've been wondering if there was any other reason why Kubiak keeps Anderson around besides being partial to all players from Colorado State, and it turns out Kubiak is also a stand-up comic fan. That would explain his retention on the roster.

Yeah.... I'm sure that's it. :rolleyes:

Yankee_In_TX
07-28-2010, 02:00 PM
Got 3 minutes it, not really funny, I'll finish it later.

HoustonFrog
07-28-2010, 02:11 PM
Got 3 minutes it, not really funny, I'll finish it later.

This...I like his natural comedy when just being interviewed....and the Jaworski thing. I thought this was pretty weak or forced. Too much of "I'm white, they are black" type gags that didn't go over.

Hardcore Texan
07-28-2010, 02:22 PM
Doesn't matter what you say. The DA fanboys will always have his back.

I just wonder if Jones really does press Walter for the #2 and Walter moves to the slot what happens to DA's Reps. Also I do think Davis is in trouble, but what if he has a good camp and steps it up? Who do you slot there at 4? 5? What do you do with Dickerson and Holliday? I like Dickerson's raw physical ability and it's going to be really difficult, I believe at least, to slip him through to the PS. I'd also really hate to lose a guy like Holliday who I believe can be a field changer in SP and killer on screens.

I have heard Kubiak speak or read quotes (maybe it was the Touchdown Club Speech, there's a thread with links to the videos of it) where he spoke about DA's role and responsibilities as the "Z" receiver. I thought DA was 'meh' with great hands being his best attribute but after hearing Kubiak break it down and explain all the little things about that position (As MKWATTS described in his post) and how important it is to the offense, I realized his value and it being much higher then what the stat sheet will reflect.

So not everyone is being a "fanboy" or whatever, I am not but I do like the guy, he's funny (haven't watch the stand up yet cause I am at work). Just passing along what I have learned and why I believe he is valuable and will keep making this team.

Andrew6
07-28-2010, 02:30 PM
fantasy = tissue paper & high-speed internet

Thats some funny stuff

False Start
07-28-2010, 06:52 PM
I thought it was pretty damn good myself. It was not great but he did a good job for an amateur IMO. :cool:

powerfuldragon
07-28-2010, 07:07 PM
To do stand up for 11 minutes is an accomplishment in and of itself. That can be an eternity for an amateur and sometimes for a pro.

yeah it is. ****'s nerve wracking.
he did alright. not the highest brow stuff, and a few common bits, but not bad overall.

TimeKiller
07-28-2010, 07:19 PM
He tells jokes about as well as he blocks a DE.

JB
07-28-2010, 07:22 PM
He tells jokes about as well as he blocks a DE.

That's pretty harsh. I thought he did a very good job for his first time on stage.

Texan_Bill
07-28-2010, 07:32 PM
It never ceases to amaze me how seriously some people take themselves. It was an event for tonight's MLS v. Man U. Soccer game. (Go US all-stars!!) I'm sure a charity was involved and we have people actually critiguing his perfomance?? Pffft... Oh and I love the Kubiak / DA conspiracy theory!! Brilliant!!!!

Whatever! :rolleyes:

JB
07-28-2010, 07:37 PM
It never ceases to amaze me how seriously some people take themselves. It was an event for tonight's MLS v. Man U. Soccer game. (Go US all-stars!!) I'm sure a charity was involved and we have people actually critiguing his perfomance?? Pffft... Oh and I love the Kubiak / DA conspiracy theory!! Brilliant!!!!

Whatever! :rolleyes:

Do you know what channel the game is on?

Texan_Bill
07-28-2010, 07:42 PM
Do you know what channel the game is on?

209......... errrrr, ESPN2

jaayteetx
07-28-2010, 08:43 PM
Andre Davis is the one who needs to watch his back. DA isn't going anywhere.

yep yep!

Hardcore Texan
07-28-2010, 08:45 PM
I just listened to it, he did a good job for that event.

hot pickle
07-28-2010, 11:08 PM
that was awesome.... just stepped up as one of my favorite texans!! lol

TimeKiller
07-29-2010, 07:39 AM
That's pretty harsh. I thought he did a very good job for his first time on stage.

He sounded like a petty d-bag to me.

It never ceases to amaze me how seriously some people take themselves. It was an event for tonight's MLS v. Man U. Soccer game. (Go US all-stars!!) I'm sure a charity was involved and we have people actually critiguing his perfomance?? Pffft... Oh and I love the Kubiak / DA conspiracy theory!! Brilliant!!!!

Whatever! :rolleyes:

Critique? Comedy is pretty cut and dry. Either you tell funny jokes or do funny things on stage. Or you don't.

gtexan02
07-29-2010, 07:55 AM
Ok so after watching it yesterday I felt like I had heard one of his jokes before.

Then I remembered seeing almost the exact same joke on SNL.

The bit about University of Phoenix "Where no one has to know" seems awfully close to an SNL sketch.

Its not word for word, but still not cool in the comedy world. His jokes were ok for the majority, but theres really only one rule in comedy "Dont use other people's material"

Now maybe its just a coincidence, but... draw your own conclusions:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/101506/saturday-night-live-university-of-westfield-online

The tag line for the SNL skit is "University of Westfield online. Just don't tell anyone"

I did really like his opener about lowering your expectations and lasting 5 minutes. The guy getting alimony was funny too!

Texan_Bill
07-29-2010, 07:59 AM
He sounded like a petty d-bag to me.



Critique? Comedy is pretty cut and dry. Either you tell funny jokes or do funny things on stage. Or you don't.

YES critique:


cri·tique (kr-tk)
n.
1. A critical review or commentary, especially one dealing with works of art or literature.
2. A critical discussion of a specified topic.
3. The art of criticism.
tr.v. cri·tiqued, cri·tiqu·ing, cri·tiques Usage Problem
To review or discuss critically.


Pretty asinine for people to take themselves so seriously over a guy volunteering his time. Makes said people "sound pretty d-bag" and petty.

Goldensilence
07-29-2010, 09:38 AM
He sounded like a petty d-bag to me.



Critique? Comedy is pretty cut and dry. Either you tell funny jokes or do funny things on stage. Or you don't.

Pretty obvious you didn't get the memo TK about DA. He's the Texan's funniest bastard and most essential 4th WR in the league.

You obviously haven't seen his Jaworski impression or the time he grew a mullet. You know what's even funnier... he shaved his head to match Schaub's once!

You know when he actually caught touchdowns he did Conan's string dance!!!! Oh oh and Conan saw it and he went on the show!

Another time I saw him "dance" but really it just looked like the guy really was dry humping the air. He called it the dog I think...whatever it was just funny!

:rollseyes:

I guess some people just "get" DA. Guess I don't.

Hardcore Texan
07-29-2010, 10:58 AM
Pretty obvious you didn't get the memo TK about DA. He's the Texan's funniest bastard and most essential 4th WR in the league.

You obviously haven't seen his Jaworski impression or the time he grew a mullet. You know what's even funnier... he shaved his head to match Schaub's once!

You know when he actually caught touchdowns he did Conan's string dance!!!! Oh oh and Conan saw it and he went on the show!

Another time I saw him "dance" but really it just looked like the guy really was dry humping the air. He called it the dog I think...whatever it was just funny!

:rollseyes:

I guess some people just "get" DA. Guess I don't.

lol:

That was pretty good.

As for me and my opinion (and you didn't quote me so I don't know who this is directed at, albeit funny on its own), I am able to seperate the person and the football player. I didn't really think too much of him as a player, just average, until I learned a lot more about all the things a Z receiver does from some of the vids and quotes by Schaub and Kubes. That doesn't make him special or irreplaceable but if he is good enough to keep his job he will. I want the best players that give us a chance on the field to win. Period.

As for the person, I think he's a pretty funny guy, not afraid to put himself out there. That's totally okay if you or others don't like his style. He was doing this as part of a charity event right? He's an amateur, he's not a pro and that's obvious from the get go. Still some of that material was pretty darn good and some not so much IMHO. I guess I just don't see the need to bag on the guy for doing something like this and overall I thought he did pretty decent especially considerd he does not have much experience and the reason he was doing it.

It sounds like your more annoyed at the people who defend him than DA himself. Perhaps you have encountered many that defend him over the top? Personally I haven't seen enough of that here to start calling anyone a "fanboy" or to be that aggravated about it myself.

powerfuldragon
07-29-2010, 04:56 PM
YES critique:





Pretty asinine for people to take themselves so seriously over a guy volunteering his time. Makes said people "sound pretty d-bag" and petty.

i was wondering why you were walking bow legged...

chill out man, you put yourself out there like DA did, you're gonna get your haters and fans. ****, first time i tried an open mic, i had to go to poop jokes just to get a laugh.

TimeKiller
07-29-2010, 07:45 PM
Pretty asinine for people to take themselves so seriously over a guy volunteering his time. Makes said people "sound pretty d-bag" and petty.

No way. I am the least serious person to ever exist. In fact, I was kinda just making a joke since that video was so lacking in said category. Kinda.

A guy volunteering his time. HA. Who is taking themselves seriously now TB? Come on. What, like the best little-white-guy-complex-having backup receiver is gonna charge an appearance fee? I'm sure it was a bother to clear his schedule...what with all the ripping off SNL bits, stealing Conan's dance, impersonating Jaworski and basically attracting attention for everything but playing football. Besides, you try to make it seem like I'm against charity work when that's just stupid. I'm against bad joke telling....and bad blocking/bad use of a particular players' strengths and complete ****ing weakness.