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View Full Version : Who Cares What ESPN Says? KSK Discovered Our Team


Dan B.
11-02-2009, 05:10 PM
Kissing Suzy Kolbert is IMO the funniest sports blog out there. Their impersonations of JJ and Wade Phillips are epic. They decided to feature the Texans today. This link leads to a fantasy conversation (http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/11/a-monster-with-the-head-of-a-lion-and-the-jacked-up-knees-of-owen-daniels.html#more-20766) that isn't exactly G rated, but is awesome nonetheless. Apparently OD read up on mythology and has decided that he, Matt, Slaton, and AJ comprise the four headed beast that is the Chimera. For those that don't already know a Chimera has four heads -- a goat, dragon, and lion spring from it's neck, and the tail is a serpent.

http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Chimera03.jpg

OD wishes to be known as "snake d**k." He likes this because the snake is "sneaky dangerous, like me. No expects a monster to have a snake head around back. Plus, it’s kinda phallic. I could be snake d**k. Like, when other tight ends catch passes, it’s COOOOOLLLLLLEEEEYYYYYY or HEEEEEEAAAAAPPPPPPP or HHHHEEEEEAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHH. For me, Houston fans would go SSSSSNNNNNNAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEE (you get the picture)."

Slaton and Matt have a little row over who gets to be the lion and who is the goat. Matt maintains he is the lion because "lions don't get benched." Slaton gets a bit upset over this, as one can imagine he would with his fragile ego. AJ, always the peacemaker, agrees to be the goat and deems Steve the lion and Matt the dragon. Why?

"CAUSE I’S THE GREATEST OF ALL TIMES, LITTLE ****** LION. Go get your lionnesses to do your hunting for you, bench b*tch! BBBAAA-AAAAAA-AAAHHHHHH! G.O.A.T.!"

Goatcheese
11-02-2009, 05:22 PM
http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/schaub.jpg

Now we know why Schaub randomly throws passes 30 feet away from his target. This dudes got the crazy eyes! :heart:

Dan B.
11-02-2009, 05:23 PM
Just in case some missed the joke, G.O.A.T. = Greatest Of All Time(s). Andre is most definitely our G.O.A.T.

Dan B.
11-02-2009, 05:24 PM
http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/schaub.jpg

Now we know why Schaub randomly throws passes 30 feet away from his target. This dudes got the crazy eyes! :heart:

I liked the comment that he looked higher than a giraffe's vag. I'm stealing that one.

Malloy
11-02-2009, 05:36 PM
http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/schaub.jpg

Now we know why Schaub randomly throws passes 30 feet away from his target. This dudes got the crazy eyes! :heart:

woah, guys help me out... I cant find my one shoe...

Stoner MVP! :)

Goatcheese
11-02-2009, 05:45 PM
woah, guys help me out... I cant find my one shoe...

Stoner MVP! :)

http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c60/Don_Jorge/crazy_eyes.jpg

Separated at birth!

Texan_Bill
11-02-2009, 06:04 PM
Kissing Suzy Kolbert is IMO the funniest sports blog out there. Their impersonations of JJ and Wade Phillips are epic. They decided to feature the Texans today. This link leads to a fantasy conversation (http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/11/a-monster-with-the-head-of-a-lion-and-the-jacked-up-knees-of-owen-daniels.html#more-20766) that isn't exactly G rated, but is awesome nonetheless. Apparently OD read up on mythology and has decided that he, Matt, Slaton, and AJ comprise the four headed beast that is the Chimera. For those that don't already know a Chimera has four heads -- a goat, dragon, and lion spring from it's neck, and the tail is a serpent.

http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/Chimera03.jpg

OD wishes to be known as "snake d**k." He likes this because the snake is "sneaky dangerous, like me. No expects a monster to have a snake head around back. Plus, itís kinda phallic. I could be snake d**k. Like, when other tight ends catch passes, itís COOOOOLLLLLLEEEEYYYYYY or HEEEEEEAAAAAPPPPPPP or HHHHEEEEEAAAAAATTTTTHHHHHH. For me, Houston fans would go SSSSSNNNNNNAAAAAKKKKKKEEEEEE (you get the picture)."

Slaton and Matt have a little row over who gets to be the lion and who is the goat. Matt maintains he is the lion because "lions don't get benched." Slaton gets a bit upset over this, as one can imagine he would with his fragile ego. AJ, always the peacemaker, agrees to be the goat and deems Steve the lion and Matt the dragon. Why?

"CAUSE IíS THE GREATEST OF ALL TIMES, LITTLE ****** LION. Go get your lionnesses to do your hunting for you, bench b*tch! BBBAAA-AAAAAA-AAAHHHHHH! G.O.A.T.!"

That was great Dan! Good find!!

Mailman
11-02-2009, 06:18 PM
Allsome. I laughed hard.

Stemp
11-02-2009, 07:12 PM
This comment made me laugh out loud
Matt Schaub looks higher than giraffe p****.

WhoDeyBengals
11-02-2009, 07:20 PM
http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/schaub.jpg

Now we know why Schaub randomly throws passes 30 feet away from his target. This dudes got the crazy eyes! :heart:

This is the next guy to get caught with a Whizzinator. Guaranteed.

kcdoubleeagle
11-02-2009, 09:36 PM
[QUOTE=Goatcheese;1291169]http://cdn.ksk.uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/schaub.jpg



Hey! Is that Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds?? Where's the horn-rim glasses and pocket calculator???

Vinnie
11-02-2009, 10:50 PM
Great, great find!:lol:

Texaninlild
11-02-2009, 10:55 PM
http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c60/Don_Jorge/crazy_eyes.jpg

Separated at birth!

You are so wrong. :spit:

powerfuldragon
11-03-2009, 12:08 AM
KSK's a good one, yes.

Brisco_County
11-03-2009, 01:25 AM
I sent this to my roommate and he sent me back this:

Remix of Joe Namath accosting Suzie Kolber set to a groovy beat. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exOxUAntx8I)

It's the greatest remix of anything ever.

Malloy
11-03-2009, 03:47 AM
Really well done that remix, thanks for the link! :)

b0ng
11-03-2009, 08:50 AM
While this one is good, the Rex Ryan KSK fantasy talk is pure genius.

False Start
11-03-2009, 09:14 AM
Hey! Is that Lewis from Revenge of the Nerds?? Where's the horn-rim glasses and pocket calculator???

http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii202/J4103V/schaubnerd.jpg

Blake
11-03-2009, 10:07 AM
Slaton is not the lion because lions dont get benched was the best line. I lol'ed on that one.

GuerillaBlack
11-05-2009, 10:40 AM
*NSFW*

http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2009/11/a-monster-with-the-head-of-a-lion-and-the-jacked-up-knees-of-owen-daniels.html#more-20766

pure win.

AnthonyE
11-05-2009, 10:43 AM
Steve Slaton: This goofy son of a ***** says I canít be the lion. What? He want the white man to be lion. White man canít be no lion. You is one goaty little *****.

LOL! My favorite part.

Mailman
11-05-2009, 11:26 AM
Dan B. beat you to this a couple of days ago.

http://www.texanstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66513

brakos82
11-06-2009, 12:05 PM
:spit: