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PhilpW
09-27-2009, 02:31 PM
I'll start with "The Steel Blue Sieve".

Ckw
09-27-2009, 02:32 PM
How about Blue Balls...

Dread-Head
09-27-2009, 02:37 PM
In the tradition of :

the No Name Defense
The Purple People Eaters
The Orange Crush
&
The Steel Curtain...I give you

The Piece of $h:t Defense!

Dan B.
09-27-2009, 02:43 PM
3 downs and a cloud of vapor trails

TheIronDuke
09-27-2009, 02:47 PM
How about "The ****ty 11?"

TheIronDuke
09-27-2009, 02:51 PM
The Pretty Rainbow Unicorns?

Hervoyel
09-27-2009, 03:08 PM
****. Dung. Feces. Stool.

Take your pick. Each accurately describes our defense.

mussop
09-27-2009, 03:11 PM
The bend till it breaks gang.

Thorn
09-27-2009, 03:18 PM
Name that defense?

"Worst in NFL" That's it's damn name.

Goatcheese
09-27-2009, 03:30 PM
5 yard penalty; not enough men on the field.

HTown2ATX
09-27-2009, 03:37 PM
ordure

OzzO
09-27-2009, 03:38 PM
The "wait for 3rd and long" defense.

New_Texans
09-27-2009, 03:39 PM
The Invisible Men.

281
09-27-2009, 04:05 PM
the bullfighters.

end of discussion.

mussop
09-27-2009, 04:06 PM
We have a defense??????????????

gg no re
09-27-2009, 04:08 PM
In honor of Phillip Buchanon...

Olé!

mariowillshine15
09-27-2009, 04:09 PM
How bout the Hooker D?

Cause any running back can plow it.

281
09-27-2009, 04:09 PM
In honor of Phillip Buchanon...

Olé!

i found myself saying that many, many times during the game.

Wolf
09-27-2009, 04:11 PM
Red sea defense V2.0

http://i197.photobucket.com/albums/aa75/ascroll/moses_parting_the_red_sea.jpg

TexansSeminole
09-27-2009, 04:13 PM
The bend till it breaks gang.

More like the break before it bends defense.

Thorn
09-27-2009, 04:23 PM
Dumb Eleven ******heads Excreting Nothingness Showing Effeminacy

ObsiWan
09-27-2009, 04:25 PM
the bullfighters.

end of discussion.

That name is misleading.
there's no fight in these guys
also, bulls have 'nads. This defense, with one or two exceptions, have none

bckey
09-27-2009, 04:44 PM
hold and fold

gg no re
09-27-2009, 04:45 PM
hold and fold
Texas Fold 'Em

False Start
09-27-2009, 04:47 PM
The "Go-Ahead" defense. Go ahead and let them score and hope the offense bails them out, maybe........ :yawn:

eriadoc
09-27-2009, 04:49 PM
House of Plain Defense

Fantasy Footballers Favorite Defense

Battle Red Blown Coverage

And if the Redskins had the Hogs on the OL all those years ago, then we have:

The Piglets

awtysst
09-27-2009, 04:50 PM
Swiss Cheese.

kiwitexansfan
09-27-2009, 04:52 PM
The Retirement Village.

Everything there is over 60........ yards.

:whip:

forcefollow
09-27-2009, 04:53 PM
The cover none defense.

The bend and break defense.

The spread defense.

Ryan
09-27-2009, 05:00 PM
Cottonelle-incredibly soft and opposing teams use them to wipe their ass.

bckey
09-27-2009, 05:01 PM
the paper curtain

Hagar
09-27-2009, 05:04 PM
The Onion Defense! :crying:

The Kevin Bacon (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdFLPn30dvQ), defense!

bckey
09-27-2009, 05:06 PM
the weakest link

bckey
09-27-2009, 05:06 PM
powder puff

bckey
09-27-2009, 05:07 PM
Bush's burnt

bckey
09-27-2009, 05:08 PM
uncover 2

bckey
09-27-2009, 05:12 PM
undiciplined ewes

bckey
09-27-2009, 05:14 PM
How do you stop Mario from getting a sack? Just guide him in a semi circle around the qb.

JB
09-27-2009, 06:27 PM
The Blue Bell Defense!

Appears solid but with a little heat & stirring it becomes compleatly malleable

Honoring Earl 34
09-27-2009, 06:33 PM
Free agents running backs dream .

bckey
09-27-2009, 08:48 PM
red sea

kind of goes with Bush's burnt

hradhak
09-27-2009, 08:54 PM
The 400 club

Honoring Earl 34
09-27-2009, 09:00 PM
The Velvet Curtain
The Purple Pringle Eaters
The Doonesberry Defense
The Fearsome Flotsam
The No Shame Defense
The 85 Care Bears

281
09-27-2009, 09:08 PM
bush league.

michaelm
09-27-2009, 09:10 PM
The Ned Beatty in Deliverance Defense.
or
The Squeals Like a Pig Defense

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8

gwallaia
09-27-2009, 09:16 PM
The Tackling is too hard and dangerous "D"

The We should all be wearing skirts "D"

The I can't believe we are being paid millions to play like **** "D"

The Stay Free Mini Pad "D"

The Limp Noodle "D"

The Bob McNair should refund all season ticket holders the cost of their tickets to the first two games "D"

Summer's Eve "D"

The Oh My God we're in the Colts division! Peyton Manning is going to embarrass us twice a year "D"

axman40
09-27-2009, 09:20 PM
The Abdication

michaelm
09-27-2009, 09:43 PM
The teacher called upon little Johnny during a spelling lesson.
"Johnny, can you please give me a word that begins with the letter D?"
Little Johnny thinks for a second and answers "Houston".
The teacher smiles and says, "I'm sorry Johnny, the is no D in Houston".

"You said as mouthful, sister" was Johnny's reply.

Hagar
09-27-2009, 11:05 PM
The Ned Beatty in Deliverance Defense.
or
The Squeals Like a Pig Defense

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gLN3QoN-q8

Dude, that's harsh! True, but harsh.

GNTLEWOLF
09-27-2009, 11:09 PM
the thing is...it wouldn't be so bad if they would squeal, instead they act like they don't care.

OzzO
09-28-2009, 07:34 AM
Cow defense, since they have no balls.

Chupatoros?

TimeKiller
09-28-2009, 09:08 AM
"Oops I crapped my pants" Defense

The "Johnny Cochran Defense" name makes sense. I mean if you look at the D...it does not make sense!!!! THIS D DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!!!!! THIS IS CHEWBACCA!!! WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH DEFENSE?!?? IT DOES NOTHING!!!!! NO SENSE!!!!! MAKE!!!!!!!!

Texan_Bill
09-28-2009, 09:25 AM
The "Indefensible".

HOU-TEX
09-28-2009, 09:29 AM
This D doesn't deserve a name. It's hard to name something that isn't there

drewmar74
09-28-2009, 09:45 AM
http://www2.bc.edu/~steenje/sf/perot.jpg

"That giant sucking sound is the Houston Texan Defense down south by the border. Heck, it sucks so bad they should call it the NAFTA defense."

- H. Ross Perot after watching the Jacksonville vs. Houston game on Sunday

Second Honeymoon
09-28-2009, 09:52 AM
as someone else said

The Bush League

or

The Charmin Squad

Tedc
09-28-2009, 10:01 AM
The Holy Sh!t defense.

michaelm
09-28-2009, 10:32 AM
OK, stop the presses and stop the guesses.

I will now announce a name so fiendishly clever and vividly descriptive of our defense that it will render all further speculation useless.



You may all stop trying to name the defense.







I give you:





11 Girls 1 Cup!!!






.

JB
09-28-2009, 01:10 PM
as mentioned elsewhere...


THE CURE!

Wolf
09-28-2009, 05:37 PM
watching this defense reminds me a lot like when Tim Redding pitched for the Astros . He was great at getting 2 strikes on a batter but trying to get that 3rd strike and it was like batting practice for the other team

Porky
09-28-2009, 05:47 PM
This defense is the Weekend at Bernies defense. It's 11 brian dead guys that actually are made to look like they are still alive.

Brando
09-28-2009, 09:49 PM
The teacher called upon little Johnny during a spelling lesson.
"Johnny, can you please give me a word that begins with the letter D?"
Little Johnny thinks for a second and answers "Houston".
The teacher smiles and says, "I'm sorry Johnny, the is no D in Houston".

"You said as mouthful, sister" was Johnny's reply.


:thisbig:


How about Bush's Baked Beans?

http://www.viewpoints.com/images/review/2008/107/13/1208371531-90337_full.jpg

They give you gas. :(

disaacks3
09-28-2009, 09:56 PM
The I.V. Defense - (Immodium Viagra)

Needs help stopping the runs and has trouble stiffening up when it counts!

Dread-Head
09-29-2009, 01:11 AM
as mentioned elsewhere...


THE CURE!

Okay...I have to disagree. I think Robert Smith of The Cure would do a better job against the run.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MI0a9hTh5AU

RagingBull
09-29-2009, 11:58 AM
Fecal Impact or The Rio Grande Defense

Texan_Bill
09-29-2009, 12:01 PM
The "Indefensible".

In honor of HOU-TEX, I'm going to change my answer to:

The "Screen Door Defense".

HOU-TEX
09-29-2009, 12:03 PM
In honor of HOU-TEX, I'm going to change my answer to:

The "Screen Door Defense".

Funny you should mention that. I'm getting ready to go home due to being sick. And yes, a screen door would be appropriate right now.

Texan_Bill
09-29-2009, 12:04 PM
Funny you should mention that. I'm getting ready to go home due to being sick. And yes, a screen door would be appropriate right now.

:spit:

Take care and get well soon!!!

Beer and Metal
09-29-2009, 12:13 PM
Southern Border Defense.

Our opponents will kill us with "Rio Grande right" and the "Reverse Cartel".

JDizzle
09-29-2009, 12:24 PM
Saltwater Taffy. When I see those machines pushing and pulling Saltwater Taffy on The Strand I am instantly reminded of our defense.

Beer and Metal
09-29-2009, 12:40 PM
Panty Hose Defense.

It looks like everthing is covered, but there's runs everywhere.

Thorn
09-29-2009, 12:41 PM
panty hose defense.

It looks like everthing is covered, but there's runs everywhere.

lol

swtbound07
09-29-2009, 01:05 PM
The Danger Defense, because they never have any safeties.

Goldensilence
09-29-2009, 01:18 PM
Anti-matter defense.

Never there when it matters.

Honoring Earl 34
09-29-2009, 01:21 PM
The " Take The Over " defense .

Craig.
09-29-2009, 01:25 PM
the paper curtain

I like this one

Battle Red Flash
09-29-2009, 01:50 PM
Colander Kids

(lots of holes, eh?)

TEXANS84
09-29-2009, 02:07 PM
"The Strip Clubbers"

Knowing that you're not going to score or win, you still spend money

RagingBull
09-29-2009, 02:47 PM
"The Strip Clubbers"

Knowing that you're not going to score or win, you still spend money

I think this applies more to us, the fans.

Vinny
09-29-2009, 02:50 PM
they look like the box o' chocolate defense. They can creep 8 into the box but you don't know what you are going to get.

TEXANS84
09-29-2009, 03:12 PM
I think this applies more to us, the fans.

Correct. I can't think of anything appropriate for the defense that wouldn't be censored.

Wolf
09-29-2009, 03:17 PM
"the little dutch boy" defense :we keep putting fingers in the damn holes and another hole pops up.

mario saves the d-line from being called "the dolly pardon"line.....all bust and no balls

Honoring Earl 34
09-29-2009, 03:24 PM
The Habanero Chili defense ... it starts out hot but you better beware of the RUNS . :chili:

DBCooper
09-29-2009, 07:21 PM
Diarrhea D

It's soft and it stinks!

Vinnie
09-29-2009, 07:56 PM
"The dog ate my assignment" defense.

TEXANottoMAN
09-29-2009, 07:59 PM
The nexans... We'll get them next week